In which Hikigaya meets Yukinoshita in elementary
by Shadow1001
Summary: Things would have been different if he had met her back then. That was what Hayama Hayato claimed. Would Yukinoshita still become as cold and reserved? Or was Hayama right? Things would end up differently, but not just for her.
1. Chapter 1

_"You now have the Hikigerms!"_

 _"Nuh-uh! I used block!"_

 _"You can't block Hikigerms! Run!"_

All I wanted to do was ask where my missing lunch was. Then I was standing still, alone in the classroom with no traces of said missing lunch. Could I truly have harboured such an infectious disease that it couldn't be blocked? My hand isn't green or purple and my veins are barely visible. Perhaps I received it from someone else. Hikigerms…Almost as if it was fated to infect me.

No, that was me trying to create a reality where such things existed and I was not a subject of elementary bullying; where no one stands by your side and the moment you are seen walking down the hallway by yourself the leashes are cut. They hunt you down and bite your skin with their words, tearing you to pieces in order to satiate their hunger.

And what do you do when your skin his ripped off with the sharp tongues of the pre-youth? The only thing you can when you scrape your knee or stub your toe against your dresser: cry.

Of course, crying in front of anyone makes you look weak, pathetic. A teacher will find you, comfort you, ask you for some names which you supply, and then you confront them. They give their apologies. And then they attack again, but even fiercer. A baby that cries; a crybaby. A kid who can't handle the tough words; a wimp. A person who can't handle reality; a loner.

Here's a trick I learned: keep your gaze down. Don't have them sneak up on you. If they don't make eye contact, they keep walking; not wanting to waste their time on you. The moment they catch you from behind, unable to see your expression, they attack. They give you a push and it will be the one time your shoe laces are magically untied. You trip, your manga scattered, your reading interests available for the whole pack to see.

No one even tries to be subtle and they will laugh and snort. They're only kids, some adults say. The ones who do take it seriously will repeat what other teachers have done and reprimand them. Then they will think it's been settled.

Kids, is not what we are.

Victim, is not what I am.

The devil, is what they are.

A loner, is what I am.

* * *

The signs were in the air. The summer breeze brushed my hair out of my eyes. The birds flew and landed near me, not afraid of my loud footsteps for some reason. The sun was high and scorching the sidewalk; the breeze not strong enough to null the heat. I saw a child, younger than my sister, crying because they decided to walk on their driveway barefoot. Their mother picks them up, giving them soothing words that were carried in the wind, and they were inside the house.

I couldn't tell you the last time my own mother did that. Not because she was a terrible parent, or that she coddles my sister more than me, no. It was because my pain became non-existent. If you were to ask them how I'm doing in school, they would say things are normal. No longer am I being antagonized.

They would be wrong.

Getting my parents involved in the mess that was my childish social life was a disaster. Once the pack gets a face to attach to the parent insults, they do not hold back. You defend your mother, you aren't seen as sweet or anything of the sort.

So, what better way to survive then to absorb like a sponge in overdrive, and I will retain the pain. I will react willingly and accordingly. Give them the reaction that will end the interaction.

That's right. I wasn't living. I was surviving. A stretch perhaps, however it was true. What else do you call hiding the corner of the hallway in order to avoid confrontation? Strategically entering the class in the middle of everyone to avoid getting the last seat in front of the person who likes throwing eraser shavings at the back of your head? Tactically waiting for every student to leave the classroom before leaving yourself?

I definitely wouldn't call that living a peaceful, harmonious school life.

But summer in the city would make you believe otherwise. The signs would lead everyone in this beautiful town think that the perfect day had arrived. Not much of a rush on the streets and dogs walking about with their owners.

And the odd girl stepping out of a car with a slight sheen that made it look grander than it actually was.

The way she walked was too proper for any ordinary elementary school student. She walked with a purpose, an aura of determination.

But I knew better. And the way the students around shuffled awkwardly; girls shooting her some of the fiercest glares I have ever seen.

Yet she took it in stride, doing the opposite any sensible loner would do. She kept her head up high, looking straight ahead.

Oh, but don't think I didn't notice the way her gaze would flicker to the ground. Perhaps she had an image to keep. Quite hilarious, for an elementary student. If you asked me, the more mature you tried to act, the more childish you appeared.

And who is that guy? The guy who just waved to her; the guy who made Miss Prim and Proper turn red and look away, embarrassed?

Bright blonde hair, energetic eyes, and a smile of comfort. I wonder if he's one of the alleged "perfect boys" in society. But for one to exist among us children was practically unheard of.

He walked beside her, their steps in unison. Or perhaps the girl was simply trying to match his steps. They talked and I don't think the guy's smile faltered even once. And I don't think the girl's eyes met his even once.

Nice guys and nice girls…I wonder how different they are?

* * *

"Again?" I heard Mr. Perfect say with an exasperated tone. "That's the sixth time this week." I crouched to reach my shoe locker that was at the very bottom. Fitting, considering the caste this world seems to have, even in elementary school.

"It's not a big deal."

The voice of an angel. My time to die has arrived already? Very well. Come! Take me to a place beyond this awful realm of-

"We should let the teachers know. There's no shame in getting help, you know."

I couldn't help but snort. I don't know about Mr. Perfect, but it was clear as day that Miss Prim and Proper was similar to me in the sense that she was a loner. And the first thing you learn is that you can't rely on adults to solve your problems. They make things worse, make you look weak. You become easy picking once an adult enters the fray.

"No." The solid determination backing up her refusal made me nod slightly as I grab my pair of indoor shoes. "Nee-san wouldn't ask for help. She'd take care of it herself."

That was unexpected. Perhaps there is more differences between us after all. I refuse to have a role model. That meant being inspired by someone who wasn't you, meaning you want to escape yourself. If I wasn't me, my sister would be devastated. So, I refused to change.

"…She would, wouldn't she? But I can't see Haruno-san getting picked on like this…" The girl flinched and I narrowed my eyes. This guy knew where exactly to push it seemed. "But if she were to, I'm sure she would settle it with a nice, quiet discussion over some tea, don't you think so?"

I wanted to laugh. I wanted to laugh so badly it hurt. I stood up and began to walk away.

"Yes…yes she would."

* * *

Her shoes were there. It was the end of the day and there they were. It didn't take me more than a fraction of a second to realize the scheme the packs have devised, after all I saw the girl leaving the main office during lunch.

Steal her shoes, get her in trouble for not wearing her indoor shoes, and then place them back giving her no chance to use any excuse such as "I left them at home". And they knew the girl wouldn't say anything.

It was a plan created to ruin people like us. People who were unable stand up for themselves. People who couldn't rely on anyone. I didn't clench my fist in anger or irritation because I had already accepted that was the way things were in this world.

"Excuse me." I half-turned to see who was standing behind me. To my surprise, it was Mr. Perfect, his brilliant smile and all. "I was wondering if you would like to talk for a bit?"

I glance down at his extended hand. How peculiar. Behind him, standing by the wall were some other kids staring at us with intense, curious expressions.

So that's how it was. "A dare, huh? Not interested."

He visibly recoiled before chuckling awkwardly. "Well, being honest, yes. However, I accepted because I know you're a good person."

I raised a brow and couldn't help but feel my irritation grow. If this was the kind of guy that girl likes, then I'm afraid there was no way in the depths of the coldest underworld we would have gotten along. "I don't appreciate pity. Just leave me alone, or you might catch the _Hikigerms,_ " I spat. I didn't get a chance to see his reaction because I turned and left immediately. What does he know about me?

Nothing.

* * *

The distant murmurs echoing the school only amplified as I climbed the stairs to my classroom. I was reminded of flies, with their loud, annoying buzzing. And you just can't seem to get rid of them.

A classroom across from mine had a bunch of students huddled in front of the door. I glance at my wristwatch. It was still lunch and I could probably grab something else from the cafeteria while everyone was up here.

But as someone who was always on the outside, watching strife occur somewhere else, particularly inside the pack, made me curious.I stuffed my hands in my pockets and positioned myself at the back of the large student group and try to see if I could hear anything, let alone see anything.

And it was then I saw a most spectacular sight. The girl, a tea set, and some vain hyenas. It was a sight from a comedy skit. I would have laughed if the tension wasn't so thick.

The girl was staring down at the desk in front of her, her hair covering her face. She was trembling, with her fists clenched tight. Her skin whiter than snow and her hair blacker than the night sky. I could see her head tilt slightly in the direction of us, the mob, but quickly returned to its original hanging position. In front of her was a tea pot and several tea cups, some spilled and broken. I couldn't hear anything the hyenas were saying, because they couldn't speak English or Japanese. No, they spoke in barks, not caring about anything they were saying.

I wondered. What should I do?

I looked for the guy, Mr. Perfect. I found him quickly. It was pretty easy. He's pretty tall with only the upperclassmen beating him in height and it's hard to miss that bright blonde hair.

I waited three seconds and yet he just stood there, watching everything from his throne, akin to a corrupted king.

I knew what I had to do.

If the great Mr. Perfect was unable to handle this situation, then no one could.

At least, peacefully.

I rubbed my hands together and took a deep breath. My eyes narrowed and my brow furrowed. I could feel my heart quicken as I prepared to do what no one else could.

"What the HELL are you all doing!?"

* * *

"...Coarse language and disrupted the student body. We expect more from our honour students. They are meant to be role models for the other students, not be a source of disorder."

 _"You're being way too obnoxious and noisy. I don't think I've met a dog that barks more than any of you!"_

"…If they were causing you problems you should have sought a staff member. They would have been able to put an end to the whole affair."

 _"Huh, there's a broken cup. What'd you do? Sit on it?"_

"…You cannot fight fire with fire. I know there's an urge to fight back, but the responsible thing to do is to stop and seek an adult. You'll get farther in life that way. You need to stay above bullies."

 _"Can you_ please _stop talking? Your voice is grating on my ears. Huh? You don't know what 'grating' means? I guess your vocabulary is as small as your boobs."_

"You're still young. Think of this as a learning experience. You must not provoke and fight if you want to make it. Isn't that why you came all the way out here? To get somewhere your local elementary school could take you?"

 _"Your all so obnoxious, thinking you're so high and mighty by picking on someone who doesn't give a…shit."_

"This won't hurt your chances or anything. You did nothing that warrants a suspension. However, please do not do this again. Not if you want to fit in with society someday. I'm saying this not for myself, but for you and your future."

 _"Get lost already."_

"Well?"

"Yes, sensei…" I mumbled.

"Hm?"

"Yes." I spoke louder and clearer.

"Good."

The vice principal stood up and gestured towards the door. I exited, my head hung low. Not out of shame, but because of pride. I managed to do something, save someone, when no one else can. Because I was a loner.

Every single thing the head teacher said, was complete and utter bull. And I am living proof of that.

I looked up when a shadow cast over me. I raised my head and found myself staring into eyes containing the colour and vastness of the sea. It was the girl. Yukinoshita Yukino.

* * *

 _I was shoved to the side by the retreating girls who exited the classroom. They were in a rush. I didn't give them a chance to speak and before they knew it, they became too emotional that they couldn't properly defend themselves._

 _Quickly, I was alone in the classroom once the door slammed shut. I stared vacantly at the window across from me. The bright sky conflicted with the dark clouds of my mind. I felt myself going down a path. A path I wondered if I'd be able to leave._

 _As long as I remained simultaneously a nice guy and a loner, perhaps it was inevitable._

 _"Um…" I turned to see the girl. Miss Prim and Proper. I wasn't alone like I believed. She was silent, and her expression was one of shock. I couldn't tell if she was disgusted with me or grateful. I returned her stare and she recoiled. My eyes have been growing weary as I grow up. One day they will hold nothing but darkness and evil. My smile will no longer match them and it will be considered gross. That was my fate. But I had finally accepted it._

 _I couldn't stare at the girl for too long. She was a bit too cute. I turned my head. "Just to be clear, I didn't do it for you. They were just really annoying."_

 _I hear her breathing calm down. It was erratic, as if she was being threatened at gun point. But now it's calm. I wonder just how bad have things gotten for this girl? "Is that so?" She whispered. "I agree. They are quite infuriating."_

 _A vocabulary that matched mine. Not bad. I glanced down at one of the tea cups. It looked untouched. I never had tea before, but if she could have tea, then so could I._

 _I grab the cup without asking and raise it to my lips. It was a soothing taste unlike any other beverage. Punch has nothing on this. I placed the teacup back on its plate. "…That was pretty good."_

 _She blinked. She moved a strand of hair in front of her face behind her ear. "Thank you. I…brewed it myself."_

 _"Is that so." I scratched the back of my head. She began putting the tea away in the small bag by the desk leg. "Um, do you need help?" I offered, sincerely. I know when someone offers their help but genuinely hopes they do not actually require help. It happened far too often everywhere and I'll admit, I was guilty of it once upon a time. But now, I only offer help if I'm serious._

 _"Take this cloth and wipe the spilled tea. Gather any broken glass shards but be careful. They can be dangerous."_

 _I nodded and felt the urge to salute. I accepted the pink and white cloth and quickly cleaned up the mess those hyenas made. The cloth was soft and excellent at absorbing liquid, making my job much easier. I also picked up any glass shards I came across and placed them in a small plastic bag the girl had._

 _In no time we were finished. I dusted my hands then placed them on my hips. "Not bad if I do say so myself."_

 _"Hm." She mumbled and turned to face me. "I…wish I could thank you with a gracious heart. However, I'm afraid you're going to be heavily ostracized because of this."_

 _I shook my head and gave her a wry smile. "I'm already an outcast…This just makes me the talk of the school for a bit. And they'll stop bothering you. And we'll still be considered loners. It's a win-win if you ask me."_

 _"Even so," she protested, her fists balled up. "I do not want you or anyone sacrificing themselves for me."_

 _"I said it wasn't for you. Besides, I doubt I'll have to do it again. Just, stop worrying about me." Please. It's weird having someone who isn't my sister worrying about my well-being._

 _She sighed. "If you insist. I know not to argue with stubborn people."_

 _Aren't you the stubborn one?_

 _She flicked her hair and smiled softly. "My name is Yukinoshita Yukino."_

 _The way she announced herself was akin to royalty. I could feel the pressure from her name. It took me a second to digest each syllable. "Hikigaya Hachiman."_

 _"I suppose we should-"_

 _"What is the meaning of this!?"_

* * *

"Uh…" I didn't know what to say. Yukinoshita was waiting for me for some reason. "Do you need something?"

She paused before nodding slightly. "I was wondering...you mentioned you're also an outcast?" I nodded, unsure of where she was going with this. "Then, by chance where do you eat lunch?"

I jabbed my thumb in the direction of the back-parking lot. It was quiet and nobody was there during lunch. "Back-parking lot. Why?"

"Morbid curiosity," she replied, smiling cheekily. She quickly turned around and strode out of the room.

"Morbid is right," I muttered, rubbing my face with my hand.

As soon as I stepped into the hallway, I could feel the air thicken. Even though nobody was looking at me, I could tell that from now on, things were going to be different for me.

* * *

As soon as I stepped out of the school into the back-parking lot, I let out a breath I seemed to have been holding. Things weren't as different as I expected. I was still a loner and no one approached me. The only difference was the quick glares and stares people would send my way. I would respond with one of my own and they would look away. I became a predator it seemed. No one knew when I would strike next and they couldn't do anything but wait in anticipation.

I've created a different world from the ordinary loner, and I didn't mind.

"I see why you come here for lunch." I physically jumped to my feet at the voice. Behind me was Yukinoshita, who blinked in surprise at my surprise. "I apologize. I thought you knew I was here."

"What do you think I am? Psychic?" I grumbled, sitting back down before noticing she carried two lunch bags. "How much lunch do you eat?"

Her face reddened and cleared her throat, also clearing her blush. She abruptly handed me one of the lunch bags. "As thanks for yesterday…"

"Huh? Uh, you didn't have to go this far…"

"Think of it as compensation then."

If I get free food for tearing people apart, I might do that more often. I opened the lunch bag and saw a standard black bento box. The scent failed to contain itself inside the box, and I could feel my eyes begin to water in happiness.

Yukinoshita sat down on her knees. "Do you consume with your eyes, or are you going to open it?"

"I'm appreciating it! It's not everyday someone makes you lunch." I stated, hastily opening the box and in a matter of seconds I was already digging in with the supplied chopsticks. The food wasn't heavenly, nowhere near my mother's level. But for some reason it tastes better than it should. Perhaps the thought behind it and the effort put into it does affect the taste. "This is pretty good. I'm surprised you made it yourself."

"And I'm surprised you knew I made it. Have you been stalking me?"

I gave her an extremely dissatisfied expression. "No, I could just tell that a lot of effort was put into it."

She looked down at her own bento. "You're right. I'm still learning, but I'll get better someday."

"Of course. If you keep working, your efforts are bound to amount to something. Just don't be too upset if they don't. It's just as likely you'll get nowhere in life no matter how hard you try."

"Or maybe it's that mindset that leads to such results."

"Could be," I conceded. "However, everyone thinks that way."

"You're right. Doubts cloud everyone's minds and they end up despising those who are better than them. They target the more talented without putting any effort into bettering themselves. It's quite disgusting."

I put down my bottle of water and gave her a confused glance. "With that tongue, you could have demolished those bullies."

"And furthered myself from not just my fellow students but also the teachers? I need to keep my reputation as calm and collected. It's the only way to get to Tokyo University."

"We're only in elementary, you know. That kind of thing only matters in middle school."

She shook her head. "Elementary education may seem inconsequential in the grand scheme of things; however, I disagree. Some things your childhood sets as a precedent. Haven't your parents ever said something along the lines of 'ever since I was a kid'? Relationships and how you deal with social situations become a big part of who you are in the future. I want to be seen as reliable, calm, collected, and quite frankly…perfect."

Her words echoed in the air, or maybe just my mind. Her hair fluttered in the quiet breeze as she stared into the distance with determined eyes. I stared in the same direction but I couldn't say I had that same resolve.

A loner with a purpose. A loner stuck to one path. We were similar, but different. Is it possible then, for a loner to contract with someone like her?

"Yukinoshita. I feel like I understand you. I don't empathize with you, but I understand. That is why…I wouldn't mind being your friend." I gulped and waited with baited breath. I didn't look at her once but I could hear her body shifting.

I turned slowly to see her facing me, slightly surprised before smiling softly. "Yes, I wouldn't mind."

"I…don't know how friends are. Never had any. But…You can be perfect for the whole world. However, you don't have to be perfect for me."

"That sounds really-"

"Please don't ruin the moment for me," I quickly interrupted. It had been my dream to say something along those lines. She giggled before closing her bento.

"Yukino-chan!" I blinked at the sudden address and I could see Yukinoshita stiffen like a statue. She stood up and I followed. Jogging up to us was Mr. Perfect, smiling awkwardly as he stopped in front of Yukinoshita. "I was looking for you. The bell is about to ring and you're usually there right before the bell rings so I was worried and-"

"That's enough, Hayama-kun." Hayama's smile dropped and his eyes widened. I could only assume that was not a normal way of being addressed for him. "I am well aware what time the lunch bell rings. I can handle myself. You don't have to be looking out for me."

Cold. Her words froze Hayama in place and sent shivers down my spine. I could feel the frostiness in her words, the spite. Days ago, she had a crush on the boy and now it was replaced with animosity.

I recalled Hayama standing outside the door, unmoving as the harassment continued. Why did Hayama, Yukinoshita's dear friend, stand by?

Betrayed. That must be what Yukinoshita felt in that moment. The one person she could trust completely betrayed that trust.

Yes, if Hayama intervened everyone would think Yukinoshita was simply desiring attention from him. However, Hayama had the ability to stop that in attempt of making peace. A nice, popular guy like him would have no trouble doing that.

The two of us watched Yukinoshita open the door to the school, but not before turning around and giving me a blank stare. She was gone in seconds, leaving Hayama and me alone.

"…Why?"

I was startled by the sudden question. "Why what?" I responded cautiously.

"Why did you do that? Ruin yourself to save her…What possible reason could you have?" I was surprised. He seemed desperate if anything. As if he simply could not accept the idea of sacrifice. Of course, could it be considered a sacrifice if I had nothing to lose?

"In case you didn't notice, my reputation's already down the drain. And when I see something like that happening, I don't just stand by. Not when I can do something."

I gave him a glare before leaving myself. I could only hope I never have to see him again.

* * *

The following day I found myself in a very similar situation. I stared at the bag being held in front of me. "What is this?"

"A bento."

I slowly took the bag from her hands and raised it to eye level. "Yeah, but why? You already repaid me, didn't you?"

She shuffled and her hands fidgeted. "Well, I want to improve my culinary skills and you need a taste tester for that. That and…since we're friends I figured it was all right."

I was surprised at her bluntness and logic. I decided to just shrug and move on. "All right, not like I'm complaining."

"It sounded like you were."

"Well, you have to be cautious in this world. Always be ready for the unexpected!" I nodded wisely, and I could see her eyes roll.

"I'm quite envious of your carefree nature. Are your grades meeting the average?"

"Higher," I stated proudly, only to be disappointed when she hummed instead of stare at me in awe.

"That's good to hear. I suppose when you have lots of free time you study."

"Well…yeah." I attempted to refute the 'lots of free time' statement, only for no counters to come to mind. "What about you? Do you also study on your free time?"

Yukinoshita shook her head. "Of course not. I don't have free time. I study during my dedicated study time."

I winced at the mere concept of lack of free time. No video games? No reading? No anime? "That sounds terrible."

"On the contrary, it is only because I strive to be like…I mean, to become perfect. I've already mastered the arts of piano, dramatic arts, kendo, foosball, tenor and alto saxophone, ninjutsu, baseball, tennis-"

"Okay, that's enough bragging," I cut her off before she could keep going. Besides, could you even master some of that stuff at our age? Is she even my age? And foosball? Why not actual, physical North American soccer?

"Bragging? I suppose someone with inferior talents would think that," she scoffed before smiling.

"That's a bit rude, don't you think?" I sighed. Thinking back to her words, she aspired to be someone. In that aspect, we didn't see eye-to-eye.

"I don't think I'm wrong."

"…No, you're not. But now I'm starting to understand why everyone hates you."

"I…see. I suppose people see me as pretentious." Ignoring the big word, I nodded. "Is it truly unbearable? Perhaps it is. After all, my sister has so many friends…" She trailed off and her discomfort was visible all over her face. For acting all high and mighty, she sure has an inferiority complex.

"I don't really understand why you want to be someone you're not. In the end you'll realize you should just be your own person. So just skip the character development part." The way she was looking at me, her eyes wide and head slightly tilted reminded me of a kitten. That's a compliment, right? Kittens are cute and mischievous and resourceful and manipulative.

"Skip…I think I get what you're saying. But I refuse to take shortcuts. All my achievements I've earned through hard work." She stood up, dusting off her skirt. "Um, bye. See you tomorrow."

"Bye."

Wait, I was going to have to see her again?

* * *

The umbrella is an invention created to help deflect the cold tears of the clouds in the skies. Even under the force of a lot of water, the umbrella will stand strong and protect you from getting soaked. It doesn't take a talented individual on the level of Leonardo da Vinci to know when to use one.

Yet, watching my classmates rush down the sidewalk to the school, their strange clothes soaked, I couldn't contain my smirk. What, did they think Halloween was going to be bright and sunny? This is why you check the weather channel, for as inaccurate as it can be, it holds some sort of truth. If it says it's going to rain, it doesn't hurt to bring an umbrella even if it doesn't. If it says it won't rain…well still bring an umbrella. That's what you get for wanting to dress up as someone else.

I was suddenly shoved from behind. I panicked; did a stray dog from the pack sneak up on me? But that couldn't be the case: I just looked around me.

I turned around and to my surprise, it was Yukinoshita. I looked her up and down. She was wearing a pair of aviator sunglasses while clad in a blue shirtwaist dress with a large black belt across her waist. On her hip was a large device. A walkie-talkie, I assumed. On the other side was an empty holster for a handgun, which was nowhere to be found, and a pair of handcuffs attached. Her breast pocket had a badge clipped with the words 'Officer Police' engraved on it. And I couldn't forget about the police hat. Blue to match her dress with a badge that was an exact copy of the one on her dress.

I also noticed she was standing unusually close to me. "…Uh, what do you want?"

"I don't have an umbrella in case you didn't notice."

Ignoring her sarcastic response, I raised a brow. "Then why didn't you just get a ride?"

She blushed and turned away. "I didn't want my family to see…this."

I looked her up and down once again. She was soaked, so her clothes were dark and damp. "...I didn't think you were the costume type."

She cleared her throat. "Teachers appreciate it when students dress up. It makes them loosen up around you. So, if you combine that with a mature costume, they will still take you seriously. Hence my police officer costume."

Huh. That wasn't a bad way of thinking. I then noticed something on her waist. "Is that a…price tag? Did you buy it just now?"

"I had to," she quickly said. "I couldn't bring a costume home for my sister to see. This was the only time I could go out on my own."

I could feel her gaze on me as I ripped the price tag off her dress. I handed her my umbrella and took her hat to check for any more price tags, and indeed there was another one. Wait a second, these were cheap! What were my parents talking about when they said costumes were expensive and they could only by one pair for my sister!?

I placed the hat back on her head and grabbed her handcuffs. It looked like she got rid of the price tag on this one already. I clipped it back on her waist and take my umbrella back. "Then why don't you have an umbrella?"

"I don't have one."

"…Eh?" I knew she always got a ride to school whenever the weather looked untrustworthy, which was quite frequent unfortunately, but the fact that she of all kids didn't have an umbrella was unusual. "Then you should have bought one at the mall."

"Does it matter?" She asked sharply, making my lips zip. "What matters now is that I don't have an umbrella and you do. So, let's be on our way before I'm late."

"Aren't you grateful?" I grumbled, slouching slightly as we walked to school. An odd sight we were. A slouching looking delinquent and Miss Prim and Proper. If it hadn't been a few months since we became friends it would have been awkward. Nah, it was still awkward.

"By the way, what are you supposed to be? I can't tell if you're supposed to be a zombie or a Hachiman."

"Oi, what's a Hachiman supposed to look like?" She laughed, but I just grumbled even more and kept my eyes ahead of me. I noticed her laughter cease abruptly and gave her a glance. She was walking and looking to the right of us, straight at a fellow student. But not just any student, no Yukinoshita wouldn't waste her time with anyone else. She was looking at Hayama Hayato. I stopped but was suddenly pushed.

"Don't stop. Keep going."

I looked back at Hayama. "Awfully big umbrella he has."

"If I ever had to walk in the rain, he walked with me."

"Huh…" The only thing I knew about the two's relationship was that their parents were friends. And that Hayama and Yukinoshita were close before the incident. "So, why does he have a big umbrella today?"

"My mother probably contacted him, telling him I was going to walk to school today. My mother still thinks we're close, despite how I haven't talked to him once since."

I nodded in understanding. If she told her mother that she and Hayama had a falling out, it would lead to Yukinoshita having to explain what happened that day months ago. Her mother seemed strict and full of expectations. Yukinoshita thinks her mother would tell her she should have stood up for herself or simply bear it. And she wasn't wrong, but at the same time you never get a chance to speak up for yourself when cornered. Yukinoshita invited them to a cup of tea. She invited them. She invited her harassers. People she knew hated her, people who knew she knew they hated her. If she even attempted to stand up for herself, it would lead to an even worst result.

In the end, what I did was the best-case scenario. No one got in trouble and the student body practically forgot the entire event happened. I'm back to being a forgotten loner. The only difference is that Yukinoshita's bullies stopped stealing her shoes, which definitely isn't a negative.

"What if he tells your family about me?"

She gave me a glance before growing an amused smirk. "Oh? What, that I have a friend? I don't see what's wrong with that. Hayama…he's a respectable person. He only wishes for everyone's happiness. If by chance he tells my parent's a lie about us, I'll sort it out. And besides…"

I gulped when she frowned and narrowed her eyes. I was witnessing the scariest monster on this spooky holiday.

"I don't think he's ever going to forgive himself."

* * *

It was even quieter than usual in the school halls. I suppose that's only natural, considering it was the first day back from the winter break. The heavy snow from last week filled the streets and as soon as I exited the building I could hear the loud car horns from the distance.

I shut my eyes as soon as a cold breeze hit me in the face. Having lunch out here was not smart; it was nonsensical and plain dumb. But I refused to eat lunch in my classroom full of…people. Even if a surprising amount of them were absent.

I step forward, feeling the crunch of the snow beneath me. With my foot, I traced an outline of the characters 一匹狼. It wasn't perfect, but it was the best way to describe my status.

"A lone wolf, hm?"

I tripped forward, unwillingly erasing my writing. Behind me stood Yukinoshita, once again. I hadn't seen her since before the break and she looked even more proper. "I didn't think you'd come, in this weather."

"I could say the same for you."

"Well I happen to like snow."

"Me too."

We reached a pause. There was some sort of expectancy in the air. We were waiting for the other to make a move, say something.

I reached into my coat pocket and grasped a small trinket. I wrapped my hand around it, making sure I had firmly clasped it. I held it out in front of me and she instinctively placed her hand out. Gently, I placed the trinket in her hand. Her hands were soft, a lot softer than mine.

"Um, Merry Christmas."

She raised the small keychain up to her face, examining it at eye level. There was one conversation we had where she mentioned a show she 'liked'. And it was a design on her bento boxes. Unfortunately,

I couldn't find any keychains of the mascot that were affordable so I settled with the next best thing: a cat. It was a small, white cat in a resting position. She mentioned once, that if she were to have a pet it would be a cat. The way she stated her preference without hesitation gave away her fondness for the animal.

I stuffed my hand in the same pocket, grasping something else. She noticed I wasn't finished and placed her hand out again, staring at my hand with a curious expression on her face.

I pulled out a tiny figurine. It was bigger than my thumb, but that didn't mean much. So, I placed it in her hand. "And happy birthday. Or belated."

My birthday is on the eighth month of the year, not close to any particular holiday. Yukinoshita had the unfortunate case of being born just over a week after Christmas. No doubt does her family join the two events together, meaning she gets half the presents anyone like me gets.

"A-ah…" Her hands were trembling as she held the two tokens with respect. It was something else, seeing her smile so big. I don't think she's ever smiled like that before.

I don't think I'll tell her the little figure was originally mine. I think it came with a special edition of the movie for its series. It has a little twig in its mouth and was holding a bottle. That's right, I gave her my Pan-san figurine. Though it's really small, I have a feeling Yukinoshita won't be losing it anytime soon. Not like me, where I ended up finding it under my bed under a lot of lost treasures.

"I…I really appreciate it, Hikigaya-kun."

I gulped as she carefully placed them in a pocket of her own jacket. From a larger pocket in her jacket, she pulled out a wrapped box. I quickly raise my hands to accept it before she dropped it. "Uh, can I open it?" She nodded but not before giving me a blank stare. One saying 'of course you can you dimwit'.

With care, I tugged on the bow and carefully ripped off the tape. I managed to save the wrapping paper!

"Wait, this is…"

She chuckled, not making eye contact with me. "It seems we had the same idea."

I beheld the item closely. It was a small picture frame. It was Pan-san themed and had line art of Pan-san around the placeholder picture. "Where did you get this?" I couldn't say I've ever seen this before. I trace Pan-san's lines with my finger.

"Destinyland," Yukinoshita answered with a troubled smile.

I quickly glance at her before looking back at the item. "Well, thanks." I said lamely. I wasn't worried because Yukinoshita was well aware of my attitude.

"I hope you manage to put a worthwhile picture in there. It would disgrace Pan-san if you have anything else."

"Yeah." I'm not very photogenic though. I place it in my jacket's inside pocket and I bow in gratitude. She followed, although hers was much more elegant and pronounced. "To a new year, then."

"Yes. Let's make this new year a good one."

* * *

Love is a truth of the harsh world we live in. People love each other enough to die for their loved ones. The only love I'm familiar with is familial love, and this time I don't have to blame my loner status. I can blame my age and lack of maturity.

So why is my elementary school all crazy over this day that should be insignificant for people our age?

Everywhere I look, a girl's arm linked to a guy's arm, both carrying gifts or eating dark chocolate or sucking on a heart-shaped lollipop.

There was even one couple that were doing the traditional pocky cliché.

So, when school ended, I shuffled as best I could to get out, which was difficult. I wasn't the only one too. There were plenty of people uncomfortable with the sudden shift in the atmosphere for this day.

I reached my shoe locker before noticing a small crowd blocking the main entrance. I groaned inwardly and walked around the group, reaching the side to see what was going on.

Facing away from me was some non-memorable guy who wasn't from my class. Directly in front of him and facing my direction was Yukinoshita.

"Y-Y-Yukino! Please! Be my Valentine!"

"No."

I winced and my back straightened as a result. It was harsh and cruel. But understandable so.

There were several things wrong with his confession. He was way too forward, considering I doubt he's ever spoken to her. He referred to her by her given name, something not even I, her only friend, has done. The stuttering didn't help. And 'be my valentine'? First off, why was he doing the confessing? Was he American or what? What kind of fantasy world did he live in?

I looked around at the other couples who were beginning to leave. This kind of fantasy world, apparently.

Yukinoshita and I made brief eye contact and she turned around, leaving the building. I could tell she wanted me to follow her but if I do now, rumours will spread and the last thing Yukinoshita needs is rumours associating her to me.

I decided to take my time, slowly taking off my indoor shoes, slowly putting on my snow boots, and slowly putting my indoor shoes into the shoe locker. At this time, the number of students left were far and in between. I walk out the building before a sudden jolt of pain erupted in my side.

"Oi!" I rubbed my side. Yukinoshita had appeared out of nowhere like a ninja and elbowed me.

"What took you so long?"

"I was waiting for the crowd to disperse. Rumours and stuff," I hastily explained, still rubbing my side. I wondered if she learned some new fighting tactic that allows her to strike an opponent's critical point.

Yukinoshita frowned and grabbed my arm. She dragged me to the side of the school building. No one was here and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't anxious.

It was fast. Yukinoshita forcibly placed a clear, plastic bag in my hand before turning around swiftly and leaving.

I blinked and she was gone. In my hand was a bag of chocolate. I couldn't tell you if I've seen the brand before.

Unless it was handmade.

In that case, is this courtesy chocolate or…?

And then, how do you determine the value of something handmade?

* * *

I couldn't help but rub my palms against my pants. Over. And over. They were sweaty, and I didn't know why. I was nervous. I don't know if I've ever been more anxious. I just need to never put my hand into my pocket.

I had observed other males around, and like me, they were all just as nervous. The tension was suffocating. Everyone knew what day it was, even the younger grades. Thankfully, they just returned the favour without any serious feelings behind their actions. While us older students were actually expecting something.

Whatever the case, it didn't matter to me. I just needed to give it to her and leave as soon as possible. A true strategic tactic among loners: attack and retreat immediately.

I listened closely to the howling winds that carried snow. I couldn't do this outside but doing this in this weather wasn't exactly smart either.

I heard her footsteps and I turned around. Yukinoshita stood in front of me, in her black coat that went down to her knees. It was already being covered in snow.

She sighed and shook her head. "I cannot believe you can have lunch in this weather."

"Well, anywhere's better than my classroom." I chuckled awkwardly. She must have noticed a difference in my attitude because she walked towards me and I gulped.

My hands weren't sweaty thanks to the cold. I pulled out the bag and attempted to make a run for it.

Attempted.

Her grip was unlike any I've ever experienced. I could not move my arm in the slightest. I could feel her nails dig into my arm any time I tried to struggle, so I stopped resisting.

"Why did you try to run?"

She didn't release me. Using my free arm, I rubbed the back of my head. "You did the same a month ago."

"That was because I had to go. My ride was waiting and if someone didn't take so long to receive my…" She coughed. "…Then I wouldn't have had to leave so abruptly. You don't have an excuse."

"I'm just repaying you…Today is the fourteenth, you know."

"I know. If I let you go, will you not run away like a lost puppy?" I nodded, not before scowling which heightened her amusement. Her grip loosened and I quickly began rubbing my sore arm.

"That's one heck of a grip…"

"Useful for catching my prey," she teased.

"Just like a kitten," I mumbled.

"Anyways, thank you. Did you make these yourself?" She was genuinely curious it seemed.

"Yeah. Had to make something that was worth more than yours, you know? But you can't really make something worth more than homemade." That and I had no money to buy any. It was also helpful that I was the only person she gave chocolate a month ago, because that meant no other guy had any reason to return the favour.

She hummed. "I didn't know you were so sentimental."

"Hey, I'm the most emotional guy there is. So how about you stop insulting my eyes, since I'm so emotional?"

"I can't recall the last time I insulted your rotten eyes."

"Oi!"

She giggled and smiled. Maybe it was the sun rays that were present, but my face began to burn.

I knew this meant I was growing an attachment for her. But it would never work out. She wanted to become like her sister…and I don't want to change. She wanted to make a difference…I just want to survive.

How can two people like us even match?

Yet…we get along pretty well.

I give my own smile to match hers.

* * *

I looked up from the ground and there she was, as usual. Standing in front of me with grace. She's been smiling more lately. She said I was less depressing.

"Here." I accepted the plastic cup carefully. Every now and then Yukinoshita would brew some green tea and I would happily accept it. A free beverage is free after all.

"It's surprisingly hot, isn't it?" I nodded. I was trying to gather my thoughts, then form proper sentences with them. Then articulate them. "I guess it's all over hm? Middle school is approaching..."

"Three more years...and then another three more years...It's a strange system, that's for sure." I sip my tea, taking a large gulp. "Yukinoshita, I-"

"Hikigaya-kun, are we friends?" She interrupted me with a question that shocked me to my core. My heart began to beat faster.

"Huh?" Was all I could muster.

"I just can't help but feel…no never mind."

"Never mind, huh? Will you ever bring it up again?"

She closed her eyes. "Yes. If we stay as friends, it will come up again. In a more certain future."

I wanted to nod, to say I understood, but she had her own complex thoughts running through her head right now. And she had the courage to say part of it.

"Hikigaya-kun, I'm leaving."

"…What?" I was so quiet I almost mistook her for a squirrel.

"I'm going overseas on an exchange. It's what I've been working towards." I waited five minutes until she spoke again. It was difficult understanding what this meant. "I will be back. I don't know when, but I will be."

"It's for the best, I get it." I did. To get a better position in society, this would secure it. I couldn't manage to look at her, in fear of her discovering my bottled feelings. "It's just…unfortunate." I wouldn't try and convince her because I knowsbetter than anyone how parents have the only say. And it's not like either of our parents are aware of each other's existence. "Let me guess, tomorrow?"

"...I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. If you were sorry you wouldn't have waited until the last minute." She lowered her gaze and I could see her expression breaking. I lowered my own gaze, trying to sort out my own feelings. When I heard her shuffling in her bag, I looked up and saw her holding something rare for any kid my age.

"Is that a ph-"

Yukinoshita put a finger to her lips and I stop. She walked over to me stood by my side, our shoulders touching. She handed me the cell phone. "Can you take a picture of us?"

I didn't say anything but raise the phone in front of us. "Uh, now what?"

"Click the middle button."

It was silent, but the preview appeared and I coughed at the extremely awkward sight. It was fitting, for two loners under different circumstances.

My head was tilted slightly and my eyes were wider than usual. I was wearing a broken smile. I was just glad I didn't blush.

Yukinoshita looked more poise, standing straight staring straight into the camera ready to consume your soul.

"Perfect."

"I wouldn't call that perfect…" She pocketed her phone and smiled.

"I disagree."

"You can't disagree with facts," I state to which she shook her head.

"Is water wet?"

"…What?"

She didn't respond and I attempted to rack my brain around her question. I snapped out of it hearing her sigh. "I suppose this will be the last time I see you?"

"Unless you decide to come back to Chiba, then yeah."

"Chiba…" she muttered, a tiny smile growing on her face. I couldn't tell you what that meant. She shook her head and gave me a bigger smile. "Thank you so much, Hachiman." I recoiled visibly from the use of my given name as something that wasn't an insult.

"Huh? I don't think I did anything worthwhile."

She closed her eyes and released a satisfied hum. "Sometimes…having somebody to talk to is more than enough. Wouldn't you agree?"

Her eyes opened and she stared at me with a familiar determined expression, as if daring me to refute her. I wanted to refute her and proclaim my status as a loner. Someone who doesn't need social interaction. And yet…

"Yeah."

* * *

 **My second story for** ** _Yahari Ore no Seishun Rabukome wa Machigatteiru._** **I love this series.**

 **So I decided to give my own take on Hayama's lovely suggestion of Hikigaya going to Yukinoshita's elementary school.**

 **Personally, I'm quite happy with this.**

 **They definitely don't speak to each other like normal elementary students but that wouldn't be very interesting, now would it? I tried to make Hikigaya more carefree since this was the beginning of his loner days. He's definitely not as cynical as he is in the main story of Oregairu. Yukinoshita was difficult since she relied on people when she was young, but then stopped. So, having Hikigaya there made her move on to him from Hayama. And yeah, I know there interactions were really short but I tried! I didn't want to mess them up too bad.**

 **Oh, and just so people know: this is a one-shot, like the last story. If people really like it and demand a sequel, then maybe but this is a one-shot. There were a lot of people who followed my last story.**

 **I really, really want to know what you guys think. I would love to know where I went wrong with their characterizations for the next time I write an Oregairu story. Let me know what you guys think.**

 **I hope you enjoyed this!**

 **EDIT - 28.06.18**

 **\- Removed the fact that they were at an American elementary school. Don't trust the Oregairu wiki! Instead, trust RalphZiggy! Seriously, they know their stuff and have proof.**

 **\- Some typos/grammar issues fixed**


	2. Chapter 2

Time moves forward, the world spins; oblivious to the… _things_ it contains. Everyone is subject to the cycles of life. Happiness to apathy to sadness to apathy to happiness, it is but the cycle of human life. The sun goes down, taking the warm air and bright colours with it, being replaced by the cold moon giving the world a sliver of light in the darkness. But eventually the sun will rise again. And go down again. The cycle of the Earth.

One cycle is preferred, the other unwanted. The sun is coveted, worshiped. It provides life, sustenance. The darkness of the night is home to predators. Burglars, kidnappers, all the evils lurk in the night. And thus, the moon is coveted in a different manner. It brings light to the otherwise pitch-black sky, sometimes accompanied by dead sparkles. In that sense, clouds should be the mortal enemy of life, blocking the comfort to all life. An inevitable cycle, and you can't detest the inescapable.

Human emotions can be manipulated, albeit inescapable. To despise sadness is to love happiness. To do whatever it takes to avoid the emotions we loathe, we devote our existence to molding the path that leads us to the emotions we love. Sometimes that means tearing apart others' emotions.

When the sun sets, and the small twinkles begin to fill the dusking sky, you sit on your bed, thinking about your current state of mind. The emotions you felt that day, the emotions you'll feel the next day, and the emotions you'll inflict; the establishment of regrets and purpose.

It should've been easy, I told myself, sitting on the bed with my fists clenched staring at a picture of the solar system. I felt a thin string tie itself around my heart. I had yet to take a bath. Transferring schools wasn't uncommon by any means. You leave behind the friends you all said would stay together for life, only to forget their faces. I've already forgotten all my classmates' faces from my elementary school. Once upon a time I thought we were friends.

They made it clear I wasn't their friend.

Middle school was an opportunity to meet new friends. Some cliques would still band together, but there would be enough strays that your prior reputation wouldn't carry over. It was the best time to start over.

Yet the string kept tugging at my heart, pulling it in the direction of the cursed elementary school. Against my will, my hand moved on its own and I was standing.

Within seconds my hands were against the wall, my head bowed and my hair covered my eyes. I shook my head once, twice, and again. Was I in denial? Or was my guilt greater than I could imagine?

A year. Almost a year. Enough time to become friends. But was it enough to have them leave their mark on your heart? What amount of time qualifies as 'enough time'? Is it quantifiable? I had thought it was. One year, friends. Two years, better friends. Three years, good friends. Four years, trustworthy friends.

What is a friend?

Someone you can talk to without feeling attacked or invaded. You don't feel uncomfortable around them.

Right?

My eyes were attacked, my personal space invaded which lead to feeling uncomfortable…

Then maybe it's the positives: someone you can talk to and feel good, happy, comfortable.

…No.

Maybe both, then? Someone who you can share your human emotions with and not be judged by the eyes of lurking predators?

My heartbeat quickened and the string tugged harder. Was I to deal with these emotions for the night? The day after? How long? When will I move on? What would it take to rectify myself?

I stepped out of my bedroom, the door opening with a loud creak. I stepped around the obstacles in the hallway, accidentally hitting my foot on the corner of a packed box.

I ignored the pain and stepped inside my bathroom. After turning on the faucet, my hands formed a cup and were doused in cold water. The cold water met my face and I shook my head slightly. Opening my eyes, I met my own gaze in the mirror. My narrowed eyes were focusing and un-focusing, details and blurs. One strand of hair disappeared and reappeared.

I sighed and leaned back against the sink, facing away from myself. Meetings and partings are another cycle. You'll always go through them, whether it's with someone you cared for or not.

I turned my upper body to face the mirror. I was seeing what everyone saw: a kid with social issues. I clicked my tongue repeatedly, drowning the terrible memories of my elementary life.

It only made the somewhat-decent ones rise to the surface of my brain. They shone more than the stars of the night sky, but like the stars, they were dying. The memories wouldn't stay with me. Eventually I'd forget, move on, make more memorable memories. I would never be able to relive those memories.

I kept telling myself to accept it; I would have a phone by middle school and have a lot more memories in pictures and messages. A lot better than memories you could only reach in your limited mind.

That was what I wished. Middle school would be a new stepping stone. It would be there that this pain within me stays or leaves. Maybe I would make new friends in middle school? It was unlikely that I would be attacked and ravaged like I was here, in elementary. I was wiser, stronger, and more experienced in the world of elementary students.

The memories began to burn brightly in my mind. I would move on from everything that happened here. I would leave elementary a better man. I stuffed my hands in my shorts' pocket, nodding to myself.

It was the only way I could continue on, I realized. By lying to myself.

The sound of paper crumpling bounced off the bathroom walls. I pulled out my left hand and found myself holding a piece of paper.

Unraveling it, I read every letter carefully, my eyes widening as I reached the end.

I raced out of the bathroom.

* * *

[Yo]

I ran a hand through my hair as I stared at the glaring screen in front of me. Glancing towards the top of the screen I had typed a specific email address.

The girl somehow slipped it into my pocket at some point. She was always sneaky; like a ninja. The thought made me relax slightly, leaning back into my chair.

I quickly launched myself forward, leaning closer to the screen of my mother's laptop. I needed to send her a message.

But how would I go about it? Do I greet her casually? Start off with another apology for the extremely late notice? No, definitely not. Perhaps just saying it's me? What if she's upset that I took so long to contact her? Could she have changed her email address by now?

I took a deep breath and laughed. My thoughts ran similarly when I attempted to contact other peers in the past, which ended with no replies.

[Yo. Hikigaya Hachiman here]

Send. I leaned back into my chair and stared at the inbox tab, waiting for a number to show up, indicating the number of unread messages.

There was no reply for the next ten minutes. I grew anxious and soon was pacing around my room. It was after taking a shower, eating dinner, and about to go to sleep when I saw the number appear.

With haste I opened my inbox.

It was an email from my mother, letting me know she needed the laptop back.

Sighing, I dejectedly closed the laptop. I would ask for my own laptop for my birthday. Using school and online assignments as an excuse would work well in persuading my parents.

But I couldn't help myself and for the last time, I opened the laptop and there it was. The fated email I had waited hours for. I opened it immediately.

[Dear Hikigaya-kun,

Really? That is how you begin this message chain? I see your professionalism knows no bounds. That, or you're lazier than I thought. And believe me, I thought you were one of the laziest people in modern society.

Sincerely, Yukinoshita]

My face was red and my eyes narrowed. Was she for real? I was one of the healthiest people of modern society, riding a bike almost everywhere I go as well as having a nutritious diet, somewhat thanks to her.

[These are emails, not letters. And by the way, I am quite the active person, riding a bike everywhere and taking excellent care of my sister when my parents are away. By the way, what took you so long to reply?]

By this time, I began to pretend that I didn't see my mother's email and rested my cheek on my palm watching the inbox tab carefully. Quickly, the number appeared again.

[Dear Hikigaya-kun,

You must always be professional otherwise you will begin to slack in that regard. From what I recall, you do not go anywhere often and I have a feeling your parents are rarely absent, thus negating your claims of not being a lazy person.

I apologize for how long it took. I was busy but I have decided to allot a specific time for emailing you.

Sincerely, Yukinoshita]

My mouth was hung open, trying to think of a retort but it was true.

Sure, my parents come home late after a painful day in the offices, and they're always so tired on the weekends so they leave me to do the chores. Meaning I did more chores than the average kid.

[What did you replace just to email me?]

I decided to drop the entire argument even though I knew she'd consider it a victory. I was curious about her schedule and dedicating an entire slot to emailing me.

[Dear Hikigaya-kun,

I have replaced my culinary arts slot, having improved over the past year, somewhat thanks to your help. I have to cook my own meals from now on so having an entire slot for cooking would be a waste.

Sincerely, Yukinoshita]

A waste, huh? How was emailing me more rewarding than getting better at something else? Wait, maybe that's a compliment?

[Emailing me is a higher priority than improving some skill?]

I smirked, knowing she was probably embarrassed and glaring at her screen, and effectively me.

[Dear Hikigaya-kun,

You imply emailing you is not a skill. It is a vital skill, for it helps me improve my ability when communicating with self-absorbed children.

Sincerely, Yukinoshita]

[Good night]

What else could I say, having my confidence reduced to rubble. Despite the blow to my self-esteem, I could not help but smile slightly. I knew her true intentions which was to polish her communication skills overall. And talking to me was killing two birds with one stone.

[I wish you a good night as well

Yukinoshita]

She must have been as tired as I was.

* * *

When you sit in the back corner of a classroom, you see what no one else sees. The whispers, the papers, the erasers, the games. You also avoid contempt and gain pity for those who are in the middle. Kicked from behind then the culprit claims they were stretching. A paper airplane lands nearby and suddenly you were the one who made it. The first to the crime scene is always the suspect.

Sitting in the far reaches nets avoidance. Some say it gets the teachers on your case, but I welcome suspicion over pity and sympathy. A teacher's true job is forcing opinions on their students. Math is more important than Japanese and English, physical education is more important than any academic course. History class will always be biased depending on the country you learn it in.

Next to the teachers are the students. You might be seen as a loner or a quiet student. A quiet student isn't a bad thing, as you might be seen as intelligent but quiet. Or they will see you as a creepy loner. Or you will just remain unnoticed.

You stand to answer a question and all eyes are on you. Whispers fill the classroom and you either gain charm or dull points.

For me, it was neither. I had managed to avoid making a fool of myself on several occasions. Such as when we switched classes.

 _"...We're switching classes soon. Everyone's going to be exchanging numbers and-"_

 _"Don't tell me you also plan on exchanging numbers?"_

 _"Why not?"_

 _A sigh escaped the voice on the other line. I could also hear the running of tap water and the familiar clangs of plates. "You barely interacted with anyone the entire year. Do you think anyone wants to exchange numbers with you if you asked?"_

 _I winced and almost dropped my phone. How cold. "It could start something?"_

 _"Or it could make you stand out in the worst way possible."_

 _She didn't miss a beat, as if she expected my response. I expected hers as well, of course. So, I sighed dejectedly. She wasn't wrong, as usual._

When it came to the day we exchanged numbers, I was surprised.

 _"Hikigaya! Exchange numbers with me, man!" I looked up in surprise, my phone now in the intruder's hand. Who was also standing too close to my desk._

 _"Oh, me too! You're, like, smart right? Help me out next year! I suck at English!" A new intruder appeared and made her seat my desk, her pleasant scent getting a gulp out of me and my eyes forced themselves to the window and not the exposed, pale legs in front of me._

 _The guy dropped my phone on my desk but with excellent reflexes, the girl caught it before impact and added her number before jumping off, leaving my phone in front of me. I could only stare at my phone in shock before picking it up and checking the newly added contacts._

 _Later, in the evening, I had my phone to my ear while watching an anime on my laptop._

 _"That's exactly why I suggested not to go and exchange numbers yourself."_

 _"Huh?"_

 _"They will come to you. Students are curious and simpleminded. They approach the unknown, and I can't think of anyone more mysterious than you."_

 _"That's…"_

 _"Help them with menial tasks and they will become in your debt. It's good to establish connections that can end up in your favour."_

 _"And if those connections flop?"_

 _I could imagine her shrugging. "Your reputation can't get any worse, right?" Actually, it could. But not that I'd care too much. That's what I thought, anways. "Just don't go doing their work for them."_

 _"Gotcha."_

However, sitting in the back can create problems for independent individuals such as me. Especially if you sit next to the window seat like a generic anime protagonist. The warm sun hits your face and you feel comfort in the dullness of the classroom. You become prone to daydreaming and when you snap out of it, you find yourself volunteered as the male class representative.

You ask the teacher how this happened and she only responds it was a unanimous vote and wishes you the best. You have no say in the matter and it leads to heavy responsibilities.

I was already performing chores at home, making sure my sister avoided any and all sharp utensils, and then I became the representative of my class because every other guy was a lazy, unambitious, jerk.

Everyone had already left the classroom, except for me and some girl still talking with the teacher. I was about to leave myself before noticing a lovely angel with her pair of eyes on me.

"Hikigaya, let's work well together as the student representatives!" She said, smiling before taking a bow.

I returned the bow. "Yeah, looking forward to it." I wanted to hit myself for the mediocre response. I was sure she was going to criticize me, but I was surprised when she simply smiled and grabbed her bag before leaving.

I rubbed the back of my head and to no one but the warm air, smiled wryly. I've been talking to her way too much.

* * *

I continued to write hastily as the woman on the other side of the speaker continued to bark orders.

"…Make sure you simply don't just take their problems to the Council. Do you remember the steps for dealing with complaints?"

"Yeah, my memory isn't like a goldfish, you know? You don't need to handhold me through the tutorial…"

"I don't think I'll ever understand your pointless references…Anyways, recite them."

They were not pointless and were a test of analogies, metaphors, and similes. Regardless, I cleared my throat, overexaggerating slightly and flipped a page back.

"Give them advice to resolve it themselves. That doesn't work, help them yourself. That doesn't work, then report it to the Student Council."

"Precisely. You perform these tasks in that order, you will become favourable among the student body and even the Student Council. You also won't be the expected deadweight to your partner."

"I think you're the only one expecting me to be deadweight…" I was volunteered by everyone else after all.

"You may not have the memory of a goldfish, but you have the attention span of one. Isn't that how you ended up in this predicament? Thus, it is fair for me to expect uselessness on your part."

I looked to my side and gave her an irritated glare. "You don't have to say it like an essay."

I blinked, before realizing she wasn't actually at my side. Old habits die hard, I suppose. Very hard if it had been two years since.

"Anyways, have you reviewed for the upcoming semester?"

I groaned loudly, making sure to bother her with the disgusting sound. "How can it be review when I haven't learned it?"

"We both know you are terrible at mathematics. Maybe you should try and get ahead. It will make understanding everything your teacher says easier."

"No thanks." As I said that, I grabbed my nearest game system and turned it on, making sure the booting chime reached the phone. I could hear her sigh in disappointment.

"You're acting like a child…Or maybe I have to treat you like a mouse and get you some positive reinforcement?"

"When you call me out like that I feel like I have to prove you wrong…" I sighed and turned off my game system.

"I'll send you a link of an online textbook you can use to begin your preparations. Chapter zero better be finished by tomorrow."

I recoiled and dropped my phone. Picking it back up, I hastily spoke. "Wait a sec, isn't that a bit much? How am I going to complete an entire chapter?! It takes several weeks in school to complete one chapter so expecting me to complete a chapter in one night is insane. Not everyone is as masochistic as you to desire to torture themselves with math and drill it into their brain on such a strict time limit!"

"…Chapter zero is last year's review. The prerequisites."

I could hear her palm make contact with her forehead.

* * *

We watched the Student Council members leave the room. I scratched my head and my partner sighed in an irritated manner. The rest of the Student Council had already left, except for several class representatives.

"This is a serious problem. What's the point of class reps if they aren't even going to listen to us?" An upperclassman muttered before leaning back in his hair with his hands behind his head.

I nodded subtly, silently voicing my agreements which he noticed, nodding back. A younger girl raised her hand and quietly added her thoughts. "It's the Student Council's decision. If it's for the best, we should trust their judgement."

Not much agreed with her. What the Student Council did was a terrible act of abusive power. There were no benefits to the students and only complaints ringed the halls. Tripling the prices on vending machines was a cowardly act of raising money for future investments.

"They haven't seen any downsides to their decision, since people still buy their drinks out of desperation," I pointed out, as I was one of those people.

"No kidding," my partner said, shaking her head, her bangs placing itself in front of her eye. I noticed she would only speak following me at these meetings, which was peculiar in of itself. It was almost as if I gave her courage.

"They should have raised the cafeteria food. Most people bring their own lunches anyways." The same upperclassman from earlier spoke again, his eyes even more narrowed.

"Is there any way we can convince them?" The partner of the upperclassman spoke, her voice full of authority.

"That we haven't already tried? We've already had a one-on-one with the treasurer but to no avail." It was a younger, meek-looking boy who spoke. He spoke with a surprising amount of confidence for being surrounded by a bunch of upperclassmen. I almost envied his courage.

"Then we're out of luck, huh," my partner muttered, now playing with her bang.

"I don't care what we do! I am not paying five hundred yen for a cola ever again! We have to think of something!" The aggressiveness combined with desperation in the upperclassman's voice spooked several of us.

I placed my hand on my chin, trying to formulate a plan. Nothing we had done convinced the Student Council to lower the prices. They didn't see a reason so long the students kept paying.

"What if we boycotted the vending machines?" I looked up at the meek boy's suggestion but the upperclassmen's partner already had a response.

"Not easy getting the majority of the student body to stop buying from vending machines. People love their beverages and snacks, you know?"

"Then perhaps we needed to give them a reason to lower the prices back." I watched as everyone had their eyes on me, waiting for me to continue. "We need a downside that's bigger than just not using them."

"Woah, you mean vandalism?!" The upperclassman stood up, staring at me in shock.

"Just a suggestion. We also can't have any of us do it since we're representatives. But I'm sure some students would be willing to comply."

"The Student Council isn't invincible," my partner said, also standing up. "They have to listen to the teachers. If the principal and vice principal realize that the vending machine prices are causing a disruption in the student body…"

"Aha! Let's do it! I know some girls who'll help!"

"Aight. I'm game." I stared at the upperclassmen's in shock, wondering just what they were planning. Everything from here on was out of my hands.

"Um, are you sure this is a good idea?"

We all turned to the source, realizing that the younger girl was a huge threat considering her devotion to the council.

The upperclassman smiled, placing a hand on his hip. "You don't have to worry. We're not doing anything much more than writing on things. If things get out of hand, we'll stop it! We're concerned for every student, not just our own class. That includes the council. We'll make sure no one gets in trouble or hurt, 'k?" To finish his inspiring speech, he gave the girl a wink and her face was splattered red.

"All right, let's trade numbers so we can talk more about this later!" The female upperclassman cheered, raising her phone to the sky. My partner and I shared a glance before pulling out our own phones.

* * *

"That is the worst idea I have ever heard."

"Well, what else could we have done?" I couldn't help but become defensive at my fairly well-thought out method.

"Get the parents involved or even better: suggest a fundraising event instead to get the money they needed. If they made enough money they would reduce the prices."

I grew annoyed. "We did suggest creating a fundraising event."

"Anything specific? Otherwise, they won't care and take the easy way out. You would have to provide them specifics regarding the event and then they might listen, agree, and take all the credit for your idea."

I shivered at the colder-than-usual tone she had used. "Uh, anything I should know?"

"You can guess. Anyways, this could cause some serious problems for students. What if some get expelled? Vandalism is a more serious offense than any of you realize."

"I think you underestimate the will of the masses. Look at America's Whisky Rebellion. Who won there? Because I'm pretty sure it wasn't the federalists."

Her exasperated sigh was meant clearly for me to hear and doubt myself. "Don't go spouting nonsense. The authorities managed to suppress the rebels and the tax remained. And it will repeat itself here."

"…Oh here's a difference. If our rebellion became known to the public, the school won't be looking good on papers. So, teachers will try and subdue everything as soon as they can and the quickest way will be reducing vending machine prices."

"Or expelling whomever."

"Listen, whatever happens, I'll let you know. Then we'll see who was right."

"I'll already have known by reading the papers."

I ignored her and began mulling my next thought: whether I should bring up a certain topic to her or not. "Anyways, I, uh, wanted to ask you something."

"Oh?" I could hear the intrigue in her voice.

"Uh…" I was already regretting it but I didn't have anyone else to confide in. "There's this…girl. She kinda talks to me a lot, on a more frequent basis than anyone else, and I think I give her some kind of comfort…I think she-"

"Hikigaya-kun." She interrupted me and I froze. "Are you claiming I harbour feelings towards you?"

There was a pause, and she wasn't going to say anything to remove it. My brain went through several processes trying to figure out the meaning behind her words, before finally reaching the answer, for she fit the criteria of the girl I described.

"…Thanks."

I suppose my fellow class representative is just a nice person. They must simply be nervous during those meetings. She does have a lot of friends and talks to students, listening to their problems frequently.

Yeah, she's just a nice girl.

I could hear her stifle a giggle. "You and your delusions…watch both ways before you cross the street."

A lot nicer than the one on the phone.

* * *

"Well? I'll admit, I'm very curious to hear the results."

I take a moment to gather my thoughts from the plan from a week ago. "Well, the vending machine prices were reduced."

"Is that so. I'll admit, your terrible plan worked. But it sounds like something else happened."

In other words, keep talking. "Yeah, the student council ended up under a lot of heat for failing to stop the student's acts. The president was basically fired."

"Just the president? Not the disciplinary committee?"

"No, the president took all the blame. It was kind of admiral but I can't say I don't feel bad. He was a decent dude, all things considered."

"Do you pity him?"

"Of course not. It was his decision to sacrifice himself in the end, and I respect that." I nodded, leaning back into my chair. I hear her let out a sigh with disappointment filling the air.

"Very well. Hopefully that ordeal will be forgotten soon. Anyways, some actually good news."

"Good news? From you?" I couldn't help but joke to mask my surprise. Her life only seemed like a miserable wreck, even though she would never say that. Strict family, high expectations, annoying imbeciles, and no games.

"I have confirmed the high school I'll be attending." She didn't even acknowledge my joke.

"Oh? Already?"

"Yes. My sister attends it as well. I knew for a while I would be attending it, but now I am for sure going to it."

"That's…great?" I had voiced my displeasure on her obsession of her sister's shadow in the past yet she seemed to not care for my opinion.

"…It's difficult to gain entry, for the ordinary student."

"Is that so? Guess I'm screwed." I let out an involuntary sigh of defeat. I didn't know why I was disappointed.

"Unless you decide to work harder than what is possible for your lazy self." Her voice was almost hopeful.

I almost felt bad. "That's too much, even for me."

"…Yes, of course it is." I could have sworn her heart broke with her creaking whisper.

"But I'll still do my best. No harm in getting good grades, you know?"

"Aside from being hated by the entire grade."

"Could be worse." I heard her laugh and I nodded to myself. After all, we didn't need anyone else. If people were petty enough to hate someone because of their talent, then we were better off not knowing them at all.

That's what I told her shortly after she transferred to a Japanese middle school and was immediately hated by every female in her class. It was then I noticed her shift to a suddenly colder demeanor. She's relaxed when talking to me, but sometimes she'd show no mercy whenever I got an obscure, insanely difficult science fact incorrect.

"Let me give you some advice I have a feeling you will desperately need." I didn't like the sound of that. "If you ask a girl out, which is near impossible for you, do not tell anyone and don't do it in front of a crowd. It is bothersome and-"

"Yeah, yeah." I cut her off immediately. "I was there when you rejected that guy that one time, remember?"

"No, because I can't remember how many times I've been asked out."

"…Wait, seriously?" I couldn't say I was too surprised, with her looks and aura and all, but that many times?

She sighed and I could imagine her rubbing her head tiredly. "Just don't ask anyone out. You'll regret it. It's an embarrassment to be asked out, I can only imagine what it's like to ask someone out and get rejected"

I gulped, a bead of sweat rolling down my neck. "Got it."

* * *

"Hikigaya-kun, don't be ridiculous."

"I'm not! I'm one hundred percent certain I'll be able to do this."

"Hikigaya-kun."

"I'm sorry, but I have to take this chance." I tapped the red button immediately and was met by a familiar silence. I took a deep breath before collapsing on my bed. My phone was raised above me, and I scrolled through my limited text messages. Most were from acquaintances I gained from being the class rep.

One in particular has little-to-no messages. A girl who exchanged numbers with me back when we switched classes. I've messaged her twice, and she responded twice. In class we actually spoke every now and then, but when I thought our conversations would be limited to English questions, she would ask me out of the blue random questions, like how my day was or what I had for lunch.

It was like that every day and I felt some sort of emptiness in my heart begin to be filled. Talking with her every day gave me courage I had forgotten. My heart thumped faster every day and my eyes met her life-filled, brown eyes several times during break.

Months had passed since we've known each other, and I couldn't help but shiver in anticipation. Rushing things was the sure-fire way to die, but it could also grant you utopia early.

The signs were there: she talked to me a lot, kind, funny, found me funny, she was very different from a certain girl on the phone.

I had dealt with love requests before, as the class rep. Usually, I would tell them to deal with it themselves yet my partner was always willing and able to help, clearly a fan of the typical middle school romances.

I observed her plot the most romantic setting for a confession and the next day they were constantly congratulated.

The thoughts of me performing the confession filled my dreams. I would confess to a girl, bow with my hand extended, staring at her feet. I never once saw the girl's face in my dreams, but that didn't matter. A silent yes would enter my dream self's ears and as soon as I would look up, it was over. I would wake up and only be somewhat disappointed it was a dream.

In order to stop having those dreams, I needed to make them a reality.

And I know the girl in my dream was her: Orimoto Kaori.

* * *

I was excited and scared at the same time, adrenaline coursing through my veins. I kept wiping my palms on my pants while taking deep breaths to calm myself. It was almost time. I had sent her a text, asking her to meet her after club hours in our classroom.

She agreed without any hesitation, instead showing excitement. She must have been hoping that I was going to confess. How else does someone interpret being called to your classroom late in the afternoon by someone you frequently spend time with?

I continued to go through several scenarios in my head, which confession would be the most romantic, that would make her cry tears of joy on the spot. That was expecting a bit too much. She's quite energetic and kind, so maybe she would jump and hug me? No, she would probably take my hand and give me a comforting smile, accepting my confession.

Or am I confusing this confession with proposals?

My eyes widened as I came to the sudden realization and began to scratch out any and all previous scenarios I had readied. I began to panic, unsure of how to properly ask her out. I think back to the confessions my class rep partner handled, thinking to the ones that were improvised. I nodded to myself and began to practice my bows, making sure I wasn't shaking. I needed to look confidant.

The classroom door sliding open softly made me jerk. "Hikigaya! What's up, class rep?"

I turned around, her face highlighted by the late afternoon sunlight. She practically skipped over to me, energetic as ever and before I knew it she was directly in front of me. It was strikingly similar to my dream. The body shape was slightly different, and her legs weren't as slim, and the skirt wasn't plaid, but the girl from my dreams was merely a placeholder for the real girl. I immediately took a bow, extending my hand towards her.

"Please go out with me!"

 _I should have taken her advice._

* * *

"You should have taken my advice." Her voice was cold, unforgiving, yet it managed to comfort me in ways beyond my comprehension.

"Yeah, yeah." I was still attempting to figure out where I had gone wrong. The signs were there, it should have been clear as day that she liked me. I decided to take a deep breath and went back to the beginning.

"Allow me to help clear your doubts." I blinked as her voice broke me out of my thoughts. "I'll help you realize where you went wrong. Honestly, I never expected you of all people to make this mistake."

"Shut it," I grumbled while placing an arm over my eyes, obscuring my vision.

"Let's start with your meeting. How did you two first meet?"

"When we were switching classes, she came over and exchanged numbers with me."

"Yes, but what did she say when she was doing it?"

"Uh…Something about sucking at English?"

"Yes. Next, you've always mentioned how nice she was to you, but was she nice _only_ to you?" I stayed silent, the dots connecting themselves in my brain. "I shall take your silence as a no. Now, when she did talk to you and ask about your day, was it just being nice? Or were you already helping her with homework?"

"…Homework. So, she was just making small talk."

"Good, you're catching on. Back to the first one, did any other girl approach you and give you their number?"

"…No. She did it to stand out?"

"Perhaps. Anyways, I was quite surprised to find yourself smitten with this girl who was just being nice out of obligation."

"You don't have to put it like that…" I was on the floor, my arm still covering my eyes as her calm, collected voice filled my ears. There was almost no ounce of pity or sympathy.

"What a lovestruck fool. I even warned you some time ago. That girl…she used you to better herself." I raised my arm slightly and cracked an eye open. I thought I heard a slight bitterness in her tone just then.

"…Sorry."

"You shouldn't apologize to me. It's you who's going to pay the consequences."

"Consequences?"

She didn't reply immediately, letting the silence hang. It only made her statement all the more ominous. "Just, please stay strong. I know you'll be able to get through this."

I sat up immediately, concerned at the foreboding sentiments. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Good night, Hikigaya-kun."

"Oi!"

* * *

Walking alone in a public location is asking for inconveniences. From every shopping facility, someone will pop out and ask you to sample their products, ask for your opinion, then offer a deal "just for you". There are people who walk by without sparing a glance and some who give in. I know I almost gave in to that coffee shop but I had more pressing matters at hand.

The fortune teller services along the way caught my eye. I couldn't help but wonder what kind of future awaits me. If I continue down this path, will I find what I truly want?

The answer is unlikely. It is rare for someone to be completely happy with their life. Perhaps one day my future self will appear and give me advice in order to avoid whatever working slave he's become.

Of course, that would mean changing the future and erasing his existence, discounting parallel universes. And I know I wouldn't want to just die and let some dumb, younger version of me reap the glory. Unless I really hate myself, which is close to impossible. Hating myself is hating the person who my little sister loves oh so much. I can't see a future where that will change.

In the end, I'm stuck with whatever future I'm given.

Speaking of being stuck, it's part of why I'm at this specific location. I have finally reached the torii leading to the nearest Shinto shrine. A forest engulfed the path to the shrine, and I could only hope I didn't have to go through it.

"Hikigaya-kun?"

Approaching from the forest clad in jeans and a white shirt, several leaves were covering her clothes. She brushed them off as she walked closer. Her shirt had a subtle cat drawing near the hem.

"I'm glad you didn't make me have to walk all the way to the shrine." I kept watching as she continued plucking leaves off her clothes.

"I'm lucky I didn't end up lost for more than two hours…"

I decided to help her out and began plucking leaves and the occasional twig from her hair and back of her shirt. "Surely if you got lost in the forest, going in a straight line would get you out?" The forest wasn't that big, according to the map.

"I thought the same, yet I think I ended up going in circles." She stopped moving, allowing me to get the remaining leaves from her hair. "I never expected us to reunite like this."

"This isn't a dramatic book. If anything, we're the most generic slice of life you could ask for."

"More confusing references…"

"Genre, woman."

"Are you done?"

"No, you have a lot of stuff on you…what did you do? Did you fall into a pile of leaves?"

"Twice."

"What? I know you get lost easily and all…was there a dog in the forest or something?"

"No…"

I stepped back from her once I was finished, dusting my hands clean of leaves. "At least you didn't fall in mud."

"Very fortunate. Anyways, you said to wait for you instead of meeting back up with neesan. Why?"

I sighed at her straightforwardness. This was the first time I've seen her in person in years and yet it seems like no time has passed. "You need to become more independent, don't you think? Look at me, I've come here all the way from Chiba by myself, using only the money my parents gave me. Don't you think you rely too much on your sister?"

I could hear her click her tongue in annoyance. She was tired of this same old speech I've made several times in the past. "I won't deny that I could become more independent…then what do you propose I do?"

I pulled out a thousand yen and forcibly placed it in her hands. Forcibly, because it hurt giving away a thousand yen without gaining anything. "Go home on your own. You got lost 'cos of your sister. Show your parents that you can be independent and then you'll get an allowance of your own!"

She narrowed her eyes and was looking at me like a cat would when it saw its next meal, running about. "Are you implying I should tarnish my sister's name for my sake?"

"Whatever it takes to show yourself as capable."

I watched her clench her fist around the two five-hundred-yen coins and bite her lip. Her glare was filled with conflicting emotions.

Eventually, she strode passed me, her long, black hair nearly hitting me in the face. "I'll let you know the outcome tonight."

I nodded, watching her walk off, one foot in front of the other. Despite the slightly discoloured shirt she wore, she still managed to glow.

It was the same brilliance that my mind's eye continued to show me since she left for the exchange.

Our encounter was short and brief, and I wished we could have talked more. There was so much to say, yet so little to express.

Well, time to spend an hour getting back home. I'll pick up a souvenir for Komachi on the way.

* * *

I waited with baited breath, nothing around me to distract me. Everyone in the household was asleep, evident by the lack of noise minus the loud snoring of my pops. She had called me, waking me up past midnight, but I didn't mind.

"I'm surprised you're still awake."

"Well, you woke me up. So, what happened?"

"I apologize. I was planning on just leaving a voice message because I'm going to be busy tomorrow." Uh-oh.

"…What happened?" I asked cautiously, as if dancing around a ticking bomb while awaiting judgement in court.

"I told my parents that due to my carelessness I ended up separated from neesan and Hayama-kun. I wasn't sure where I was, so using my resources which happened to be contacts, I managed to obtain some money to return home. I told them it was a situation I was unprepared for and wish for neesan and Hayama-kun to stop babysitting me."

"That worked!?" I couldn't mask my surprise. The fact that she claimed getting lost was her fault should not have worked. They should have been disappointed in her and remove any and all privileges.

"Of course. You wished for me to destroy nee-san's reputation with my parents, make her look irresponsible. However, my way is not only the truth, but also gains more respect. I overcame a trial and succeeded without telling a single lie or destroying any relationships."

I was flabbergasted, confused. "…So, what now?"

"I begin searching for a new place to live that's relatively close to home and my future high school."

My brows furrowed, as my brain was still trying to wrack itself around her method. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Allow me to clarify; I will begin searching for a new place to live on my own."

She just went from having a babysitter to outright becoming the queen of her own humble abode. "I…my brain needs some time to understand…"

"Of course, why am I not surprised." She sounded satisfied, almost happy even. She became a pilot in such a short time, already heading to the skies. I couldn't keep up.

"Well, good for you then."

"I'll speak with you again. Good night."

She hung up immediately, leaving a silence in her wake. "Good night."

* * *

I released a surprisingly relieved sigh as I collapsed onto the lush carpet of my bedroom. I had managed to succeed where even I once thought I'd fail. I quickly called her to inform her of the good news.

"Hello?"

"Yo. Guess what?"

"You got accepted into Sobu?"

"…When you guess right, it takes out all the excitement, you killjoy."

"Then don't be so predictable. You call me well before our usual time and carry an unusual excited tone in your voice. That could only mean so many things."

"Excited tone? I barely said anything!"

"The phrase 'guess what?' is constantly used for good news. It doesn't take a detective to figure out the rest."

"Well, whatever." I couldn't help but grumble as my only good news was washed away by the cold entity on the other side of the phone.

"Of course, I am quite happy you managed to make it. I always knew if you pushed yourself you'd manage."

I was surprised at the sudden praise and smiled slightly. "Of course, my humanities knowledge is beyond that of the ordinary middle school student."

"I wonder. Regardless, I look forward to seeing you then. It will be nice to finally see you in person again after so long."

"Yeah."

After the harsh rejection by Orimoto, my eyes were peeled and the truth became clear. The day after everyone knew about it and I was subject to a terrible school life. No one even tried to hide their antics and didn't care if I noticed or not. Not being the class representative made things worse and fake confession letters were abound followed with garbage in my shoes.

Any contacts I had from previous years disassociated themselves from me, including Orimoto herself, and I was alone once again. The only reason I stayed remotely sane was thanks to my phone-buddy, who allowed me to vent similar to her own vents. I realized that I was much weaker than her than I thought. She was never hurt by others because she already didn't trust anyone. I gave myself the same naïve hope I had from elementary.

It didn't take me long to decide to go to Sobu High School. A school with high standards and a difficult entrance exam. I knew the students in my grade, having assisted many of them in the past, and none of them were smart enough to get into the school.

Similar to middle school, high school was another place to begin anew. In fact, it might be even better since less people go to the same high school from middle school.

With that thought, I enlisted her help and ended up passing the exam with flying colours, much to the surprise of my parents, much to my annoyance. They should have had more faith in me.

But hey, my new phone is nice.

"I was thinking about going to school early on the first day."

"Oh? Why?"

"I guess I just really want to get a head start this time." I didn't want to admit I hoped to make friends sooner and quicker but I had a feeling she knew what I wanted anyways.

"In that case, I'll also be going early as well."

"Huh? Why?"

"If you manage to associate yourself to me early on, don't you think that would help your reputation quite a bit?"

It was true. Even though we both passed for the same high school, she passed with perfect marks all around and was placed into a special class among first year students. She would become popular really quick.

But I knew the real reason she wanted to go early. I had noticed the eagerness in her voice as of late. And my voice carried the same tone.

We wanted to see each other.

* * *

A nice breeze was carried throughout the morning spring air. The beautiful town, a beautiful day. Nowhere is better than Chiba, where I could ride my bike to school while humming a tune to myself clad in a new school uniform.

Even dog owners in their ridiculous sleepwear were about, walking their dogs. It was quite early and I doubted I would wake up this early again. I enjoyed the spring breeze while pedaling at a relaxed pace.

I saw it out of the corner of my eye. The leash had given way and the dog raced onto the street. I pulled the brakes and stared at the dog in wonder.

My right ear picked up the sound of an oncoming car.

I didn't think.

I cycled as fast as I could onto the road, hopped off my bicycle, and grabbed the dog; its soft, well groomed fur being the last, comforting touch I felt.

Pain erupted in my entire body and I rolled on my side, the rocks on the road pushing into my skin. My vision blurred.

I was ready to go unconscious, but not before seeing a familiar statuette placed upon the hood of the car. I was reminded of the one person who had been by my side all this time. The person I was supposed to go see today.

 _Yukinoshita…_

* * *

 **I never, ever expected the first chapter to become so adored. I'm really glad so many people liked it, and after the amazing reception it got, how could I not make a second chapter?**

 **Thank you all so much for the kind words! I really hope you enjoyed a more focused story on the middle school days, something I can't recall seeing (doesn't mean it doesn't exist).**

 **Please, please let me know if you enjoyed it or not and what I could do better. There's a lot here that's either a hit or miss. I personally enjoyed writing this chapter and had fun with it.**

 **Down below is the rest of this long author's note if you don't want to read, then…don't read.**

* * *

 **There's a lot of subtle stuff in this chapter, but I especially wanted to emphasize what having Yukinoshita at his "beck and call" means to Hikigaya.**

 **Lots of no-names because I didn't want to give a name to a character semi-established in the series (e.g. Hikigaya's fellow class rep).**

 **And yeah, Orimoto event stayed relatively the same because I didn't want to have Hikigaya to have a perfect run through school and become Mr. Perfect. As in he'd have no problems throughout middle school.**

 **Also, if you think I didn't do much with the aftermath regarding the confession, then you'd be right! I just wanted to show that this time, Hikigaya had Yukinoshita to talk to and having someone there is more comforting than you'd expect. I'm sure a lot of you understand, right?**

 **Some things to mention regarding last chapter:**

 **I was fully aware that elementary kids don't have those kinds of detailed, mature monologues. I went into writing knowing it was a flaw. But I wanted to go with the idea Hayama suggested where the "current" Hikigaya was in their elementary school. I could have done third person, as** ** _The Quotable Patella_** **suggested, but I think Hikigaya first person monologue was more fun to write and read. Though I do feel bad I basically threw realism out the window in that regard, I don't regret it.**

 **Next: apparently indoor shoes aren't a thing in the US? Light novel mentioned Yukinoshita and Hayama went to a US elementary school and Yukinoshita had her indoor shoes stolen sixty times. I didn't think it odd since my Canadian elementary school also had indoor shoes. But apparently it's an anomaly. I learned something new!**

 **That's all I can think of regarding last chapter.**

 **Now I don't know if I want to make a sequel to** ** _this_** **chapter. This chapter ends at the beginning of Vol 1/Episode 1. From there on is the main story and that's a loooot of content to write for these changes. Especially when the events would more-or-less be the same with different developments.**

 **Not to mention my track record for completed stories is awful which was the main reason I was originally going to make this story a one-shot and it wouldn't sit with me to leave an Oregairu story incomplete. Though at this point, I did leave it on a somewhat-cliffhanger, huh?**

 **EDIT - 05.07.18**

 **\- Changed any references to Hikigaya going to elementary**

 **\- Moved Hikigaya and Yukinoshita's physical encounter after the confession to make sense regarding the alterations.**


	3. Chapter 3

Dreams rise from expectations. Expectations for the future, yourself, others around you. They only show you possible outcomes based on your own, limited, experiences.

Whether they are realistic or not, is another question. Did you happen to imagine yourself as a completely different person; erasing said person from existence and putting yourself in their shoes? Or did you have a dream about your father from a time long gone? How about entering a magical world through a painting? Those who record their incredible dreams become famous writers of the fantasy genre. The more realistic dreams become goals, with the expectation of the same euphoria the dream shared.

The people who end up with neither, suffer. The good dreams are only good if you enjoy deluding yourself within a thick fog of lies. The bad dreams make you uncomfortable with unfortunate possibilities.

Become encouraged by dreams, then if you fall you'll fall twice as far.

Dreams of real events that had passed are nothing worthy of praise. A dream of the past is a nightmare. Longing for a feeling, regretting past actions.

A dream is nothing but an effortless fantasy that brings about grief.

Evident when darkness surrounds you for a time unknown before a flash unexpectedly fills your vision.

Black and white, darkness and light. It was almost seizure inducing. It was incredibly distracting that I almost didn't feel the erupting pain in my leg.

I only then realized my eyes were closed and hesitantly, I opened them. A wall so perfectly white was the first thing I saw. Not a speck of dust or anything to taint it.

I shifted upwards, before looking down at the small tabletop rising above my lower torso. A stack of books and a manga that was closed. I resisted a sigh. I couldn't remember where I was and my head screamed for me to stop thinking about it.

My eyes shifted to the unusually lifted object, where under normal circumstances should not be lifted on a bed. Coloured just as white as the walls, was my right leg covered in bandages. Looking at my leg only caused a headache that reminded me why I dozed off in the first place. My brain struggled to recall the events that led up to my welcomed visit to the hospital. And contrary to what my family thinks, I _do_ want to remember what happened.

I was hit by a car, a fancy limousine at that.

That's about all I can remember. I threw the basic rules for cyclists out the window for some outlandish reason and ended up with a leg more broken than my old phone.

Probably not. My old phone was irreparable. According to the nurse, I was going to be fine in a week or two.

Except she was dead wrong. In a week or two I would have moved on from being hurt physically to mentally. My loner status would return, stronger than ever under the cruel words of high school students.

The thought made my eye twitch in irritation. I reached for my juice box before realizing the straw was sealed and the box full. Someone must have replaced my old, half-empty one. Or taken it for themselves.

With the training of a loner and nothing but juice boxes at home, I have the ability to remove the sealed straw in a matter of zero-point-eight seconds. Unfortunately, I was not nearly as skilled for it takes an entire second with one hand. I had not been training recently either due to an abundance of MAX coffee thanks to my middle school vending machines. Yukinoshita's tea or MAX coffee. Force me to choose, and I'd be in a tough spot. Of course, it had been years since I had Yukinoshita's tea but I had a feeling she only improved.

Yukinoshita…

It was her car, wasn't it? A jolt of pain almost made me drop my juice. Carefully, I placed the juice box down carefully on the tabletop. Was she in the car? She had to be. The car was driving in the same direction as the school; the opposite direction of where her family lives. But she wasn't the driver, so whether she was in the car or not, it didn't matter.

And there was a dog that broke its leash. That's the only way I would manage to get hit by a car from behind.

I more or less recalled the gist of the event. I stretched my arms before putting my hands behind my head, leaning back into the raised bed. My arms were sore but weren't even close to being broken.

I thought back to the moment I gained consciousness yesterday, and how worried my parents, let alone Komachi, were. I don't think they had ever shown that much compassion towards me in years.

Not just compassion, but pity.

It bothered me more than it should, for such well-meaning parents. I wouldn't regret my choice because there was only one other outcome: the dog dying.

An injury is worth less than the death of that dog, which would lead to the owner's sadness with the memory becoming a traumatic event. The owner was young, I recalled, so no doubt their family would have been just as distraught. They would have lost something that could never have been replaced.

That was why I acted the way I did and I did not regret it. Even if my leg ended up being permanently fractured, I still wouldn't regret it. Though I was grateful it wasn't.

To be shown pity for my actions was an insult.

For some reason, my fists clenched and a face that shouldn't have existed appeared in my mind.

She wasn't in the front seat. She wasn't the driver. She should have been in the back, where the windows were tinted and impossible to see inside.

But for some reason her face of utter horror was hammered in my brain and I became fixated on the idea of never letting that face become a reality. It was a foolish thought, and I wanted to bang my head on the hospital wall to rid it.

"Hikigaya-kun?" The tiniest of whispers, quieter than Kamakura's purrs, entered my ears despite the noisy patients to my sides. In front of my bed was radiating glory, her eyes were wide open and filled with wonder.

Mine were open in shock, head tilted and mouth hanging open. How and why she was here being beyond me and I couldn't help but wonder if I was drugged.

Her hands placed themselves above her heart and she released a sigh of relief. It was subtle enough to simply seem like she was taking a breath, but I could hear the relief.

"Yo," I waved lazily and her lips twitched. She walked over to the bedside, giving me time to analyze her outfit, which was the female variant of the Soubu Highschool uniform. "How'd you get in? My mother specifically asked the nurses to keep out anyone who's not family." Especially anyone related to the accident, which I didn't voice.

"I merely said I was a friend and I would be quick. They don't know of my relation to the driver who…hit you after all." Her eyes narrowed quicker than I could reply. "Speaking of which, you better not do something like that again."

"Eh? I wasn't really planning on it." I attempted to dismiss her concerns but she merely rolled her eyes.

"And I'm sure you were planning on getting hit in the first place."

"Not really."

"What would it take for you to realize, I wonder?" She sighed before pausing. If she was expecting an answer to her extremely vague question, sucks for her.

Seeing as she seemed to actually be expecting an answer, I decided to change the topic. "Let's forget about that. How's the high school so far?"

Her arms crossed and her expression became one of regret. "Unfortunately, I have made quite the reputation."

"Let me guess: smartest and snobbish?" I wasn't surprised in the slightest. She was well-versed in observing human habits and reactions, like me, but to actually interact with them is another story.

"Precisely. Some things never change, hm?" She let out a sigh and rubbed her temple.

"You're telling me. People are simpleminded. Those were your words, right?"

Her next sigh was heavy and exaggerated. "My reputation seemed to have reached nee-san's ears and quickly my mother's. Mother said it was a good thing to establish my superiority early. This will help pick out the worthy relationships to keep."

"That's one way of looking at it, I guess." I couldn't say her mother was wrong. Only the brave and courageous would approach someone as ruthless and blunt and beautiful as Yukinoshita. And anyone who was similar in personalities would only cause conflict.

"Of course, no one has approached me for anything other than academics, which is fine I suppose. But that's where he and I differ." He as in her longstanding…acquaintance? Hayama Hayato. "I observed him once. He's made friends with regular students. Loud, boisterous, irritating…yet he enjoys their company. He looks past their faults and I can't help but envy that."

"Envy that guy, huh?" It was true I hadn't seen him in years and heard even less from Yukinoshita, but if he hadn't changed since then, it only makes sense why he has so much friends no matter who they were. "I'm more surprised he didn't end up in your special class."

"So am I, yet his parents don't seem bothered in the slightest." Her eyes were closed but her face scrunched. "I had always thought perfection is what he strives for. I suppose I was wrong."

I'd have to see him for myself to make a proper assessment, but I was willing to trust Yukinoshita's word. "I guess that means everyone's already got their friends picked, huh?"

Yukinoshita frowned and decided to finally take a seat on my bed near the end, almost touching my bare foot. "Yes. I've been trying to learn what I can about most of the students, but I'm afraid it's still too early to say anything. It does seem, however, that they already have formed their desired cliques."

"Ah," I sighed. It was inevitable, I was sure. I didn't know why I expected something different. No matter what happened, I would become a loner. It was an unfortunate fact of my life. "Well, no use brooding over it. I was going to probably end up alone anyways."

"Is that you being optimistic or pessimistic? It's difficult to say…" Her eyes were lowered in guilt, making me gulp my nerves. "This was quite the reunion, hm? Again, we meet after so long and it's under the most bizarre circumstances."

"It's not like we'll remember it." In a strange, twisted, way, a part of me was glad Yukinoshita ended up a loner. I wasn't sure why. At the same time, the thought of wishing, let alone celebrating misfortune upon Yukinoshita caused my stomach to turn and a knot tying around my ribs.

"I disagree. If anything, the more bizarre the encounters, the more memorable they become. I don't know about you, but I happen to remember every single one of our interactions since we first met."

"Well, you just happen to have a flawless memory." I had to look away to hide my embarrassed expression. It was illogical to say something like that, but Yukinoshita doesn't lie. If she says she remembers every moment between us, she does. And if I said the same…I wonder if I would be lying?

I heard her hum in satisfaction, most likely expecting my reaction. "By the way, has the owner of the dog visited?"

She quickly grew a concerned expression when I winced. She stood up but I shook my head, signalling her to not worry about it. "Not that I'm aware. They might have stopped by when I was asleep. I'll have to ask my family."

She decided to walk around the tabletop and sit down by my side. I carefully shifted, making sure not to move my elevated leg while attempting to create as much distance as possible between us. It wasn't much, unfortunately for me. My eyeballs were already straining from forcing myself to not look down at the black cloth that hugged her legs tightly. "Do you remember what they looked like?"

"Didn't really focus on remembering that part. I don't think I even saw what they looked like in the first place."

She paused and placed a fist under her chin. Seeing her like this opened the floodgates of memories. Nostalgia hits hard. "Well, she was an interesting person. She was more concerned about you then pressing charges."

"Your chauffeur already apologized. I won't be pressing charges, don't worry."

She rolled her eyes but the edges of her lips curved. My mouth opened when she stood up, the slight motion making her skirt sway, but not enough for indecent imagery. "I had a feeling you wouldn't care. Anyways, I have to go before your family stops by and I cause unnecessary trouble."

"Is that so…" I nodded, perfectly masking my disappointment. For some reason, there was always so much to say between us. Yet not enough ways to express it.

"You're going to have to do a lot of catching up by the time you return." I groaned and slammed my head back into the pillow. Unfortunately, there was no pillow and only the head of the bed. I groaned again. "I'll do my best to help you, and now that I live relatively closer, perhaps we can finally have proper study sessions."

I raised my head to see her cross her arms while giving me a comforting smile. I was afraid she had my missing work with her and wanted me to do it while suffering. Even Yukinoshita can be merciful.

"Thanks."

She nodded, more satisfied than any other person would be with the half-assed gratitude. She turned around swiftly and with every step she took I watched her long black hair that reached her middle back flow ever so slightly until she was no longer within my line of sight.

When I moved my arms, I heard a light sound, similar to small metals colliding. When did my left-hand clench? Relaxing my grip, a small object slipped out, falling on my bed without making a sound. I brought it to eye level, and I couldn't supress a chuckle. A uniquely designed panda that any Japanese citizen would recognize, and it was raising its hand ready to claw my face.

A sign to remind me that no matter what happens, she'll be there to set me straight. And she won't hesitate to inflict pain in order to do so.

Either that, or the panda is simply raising its paw waving. I slid the Pan the Panda keychain into the nearly-finished manga I was reading in order to hide it from my family.

Wait, where did the keychain even come from?

* * *

I walked down the hallway slightly hunched over, staring straight ahead until someone enters my field of view, in which my eyes dart to the floor. I memorized the positions of every student in front of me before I look away in order to avoid direct confrontation.

Before I knew it, hands were already tightening around my bag's straps. How did things end up like this, where once again I am on the prowl? No one spares me a glance, and in a way, it wasn't terrible. They weren't avoiding me as if I was gross, but because they didn't _care._ They didn't know me, so why should they bother?

"Well, don't you look miserable?" My back straightened instinctively and like a broken robot, turned my head at twelve frames per second. I had turned a corner and walked passed Yukinoshita.

I cleared my throat. "Miserable isn't the word. Isn't my attitude normal for someone with no friends and just want to go home with no interruptions?"

"If you think someone would actually talk to you with those eyes, then perhaps your cognition needs some oil."

"I'm not a robot."

"Oh!" Her hands flew in front of her mouth. "With how you were acting a moment ago, I was certain. It would explain a lot, like your lack of understanding of being a normal human."

"Oi! Where are these jabs coming from?!" These were unusually harsh from the harsh ice queen.

She grimaced and began rubbing her forehead. "I apologize. There's so much I've been busy with…"

It had been a week since I returned to the prison of teenagers. Yukinoshita, as promised, assisted me with my missed work. Of course, we rarely, if at all, interacted during school hours. It was an unspoken rule between us where we only talk outside of the eye of the students.

So very frequently I would visit her apartment and it would just be the two of us sitting across from one another sipping tea while figuring out all this quadratic equation nonsense.

Of course, I'm not her only burden, for she has been raising her reputation through the roof. I wouldn't be surprised if all the second-years know her name at this point. The faculty also seemed to adore her determined attitude and excellent academics.

"I can handle today's homework by myself." It was more of a suggestion, because I didn't believe it myself since it was science. However, it wasn't worth more than Yukinoshita's health. Stress can lead to mental deterioration. To the point she might accidentally call me by my given name.

She shook her head rather strongly, surprising and silencing me. "No. It's fine. I'd…rather you there anyways."

I raised a brow when she looked away rather embarrassedly. I wasn't sure how to take such a statement so I nodded. "I have to make a stop by home. After that I'll be there."

I didn't wait to see her respond, as I wanted to get out of this place as soon as possible. We were still in school and were lucky no one walked by. Just one glance is all it takes for rumours to explode. Especially with someone as famous as Yukinoshita.

I wasn't in any club and wasn't planning on joining any so I had a lot of free time compared to the average student. Of course, Soubu Highschool was, thankfully, one of those high schools that didn't make club activities mandatory. Normally, I'd be considered a member of the Go Home Club, but that is simply not the case, for I do not go home immediately after school is over. Well, I do, but only to feed my cat, Kamakura. After that, I leave and check out the local book stores, avoiding any and all magazines of unfiltered content. Otherwise I'd have two scary women on my case.

My mother was scary, Yukinoshita was downright terrifying.

I had yet to meet Yukinoshita's sister but I wouldn't be surprised if she was plain horrifying. From everything I've heard from the biased sister, I had a feeling I wasn't too off the mark.

I walked no more than a few steps before almost bumping into someone. Almost, as in at the last second, I took a step back. "Oh, my bad! I didn't see you there! Kind of in a rush, haha!" I nodded, walking by briskly. The tone of his voice sent a lot of bad memories flooding back. I was about to turn the corner when he kept talking. "Yukinoshita-san! It's been quite some time!"

I turned the corner and stopped, pulling out my phone and pretending to be fiddling with some buttons. I didn't get a good look at the guy. The moment I saw the shadow of a figure, my eyes darted straight downwards and my legs moved backwards. It was a primeval reaction built from years of surviving.

But the tone wasn't the only thing that brought back memories. It was a deeper voice, but not on my level. His words were chosen freely. I remember those words to this day.

 _"I'm sure she would settle it with a nice, quiet, discussion over some tea, don't you think so?"_

"Hayama-kun." I heard Yukinoshita say, although from my location it was somewhat difficult.

"Ahaha…Well, I should go now. Soccer meeting and everything. Take care!" It was rushed, unlike the usual attitude that described the type of person he is. Yukinoshita must have done a real number on him.

With a feeling of strange satisfaction, I made my way to the school gates.

It's not like I was going to see Hayama, let alone talk to him, ever again.

* * *

"You should stop slouching and fix your posture." I paused, watching Yukinoshita as she strode forwards, checking the material and substance of a white collared shirt. "You won't look shady and if anyone still suspects you, then you know it's because of your eyes. Never would I have imagined your eyes to get rottener as time passed."

I cleared my throat while walking towards her. She folded the shirt and reached for a new one. "Slouching is part of my identity. Loners have a trait to distinguish them from the rest. Mine is slouching and looking miserable. You might bash my eyes, but I love them because they are unique to me and complete my identity."

"Is that so." She didn't even spare me a glance as she denied my truths.

I stuffed my hands into my pockets and looked around me. The AEON Mall Makuhari Station was definitely the biggest mall I've ever been to, simply because it was actually four malls in one.

Of course, that meant it was also the most crowded and being located next to an airport made it even worse. But there were places to relax, such as the bookstores and coffee shops. No matter how many people there were, it was always quiet.

"Are we done yet?"

"Ask one more time and we're going to the pets."

There were so many things wrong with that one sentence that I was just about ready to die on the spot. I've only asked twice before, nothing to be too annoyed about…okay third time's pretty annoying. The fact that the penalty for asking was to see the pets, specifically the cats, meant she _wanted_ me to ask again. And lastly, I knew she felt the same way as me regarding crowds, so she didn't want to stay here too long either.

A walking, talking contradiction specially wrapped for me.

"I don't understand…you're going to a party, but we haven't even been to any dress stores…actually, why are we in the men's section?" My eyes began to widen in realization and I took a step back. Yukinoshita turned to face me, her expression bordering between exasperation and awe.

"I'm amazed you followed me here without any regards to your surroundings. We've been looking for formal wear for you." She shook her head and returned to her previous actions. "Before you get the wrong idea, I'm not inviting you anywhere. But since you told me you only had one suit that you have most likely outgrown, we should get you one just in case the situation arises where you are invited to a wedding or something similar."

"But these cost a fortune…" I tried my best to weasel out of this, because shopping for clothes meant trying them on.

"I will cover that, don't worry."

"I'm not a charity you know."

"Oh? I thought people were donating to cure your eyes of their rotten disease."

"There's only so much insults you can think of with my eyes…" I sighed and my shoulders slumped. "Fine, do what you want."

"I don't understand why you're so displeased." She had already returned to checking out other collared shirts.

"I get the feeling I'm being manipulated and this is just the beginning of some grand scheme."

"This is real life, Hikigaya-kun."

"Unfortunately," I mumbled, watching her stretch a shirt in a rather amusing manner. It appeared she was limiting her strength in order to avoid tearing it but putting enough to test the material and manufacturing quality.

"Ara? Yukino-chan?" Eh!? The both of us turned to the entrance and I was stunned. Beauty unlike I've ever seen, save for one other person. Jet black hair with dyed tips that just passed her shoulders and a perfect complexion that allowed her to avoid looking like a vampire.

That wasn't even mentioning her fashion, where she was wearing an off the shoulder sweater coloured like her hair and dark blue skinny jeans.

An aura of beauty and perfection. No one was more perfect to the naked eye, and perhaps even to the microscopic eye.

"Nee-san?"

I turned towards Yukinoshita, registering what she had just said before whipping my head back to the intruder. "Nee-san?!"

I blinked, suddenly on guard. I knew next to nothing about Yukinoshita's family. She rarely mentioned anything regarding her sister, but the very few times she did, I could hear the mix of emotions. Envy, love, hate…

"What a coincidence! I didn't know you go shopping here!"

I was confused. Behind her were a group of people who remained at the entrance of the store while she walked in. Was that the reason for saying something that didn't make sense to us, but to any onlooker would seem endearing?

This was one of the biggest malls and wasn't even that far from Yukinoshita's apartment. Logically it shouldn't be surprising for Yukinoshita to shop here.

The woman waved her hand and like a signal, the group behind her dispersed. Was she the leader of a cult? If she was a famous person than the group wouldn't have dispersed on command and would still be pestering her.

I only then noticed the look Yukinoshita was giving me. She was telling me to get out before I end up trapped with a lion.

It was too late and the woman was already standing directly in front of me. I took one step back and she took two steps forward. I audibly gulped, looking to the side to avoid staring at her face and get tempted by the exposed flesh below her chin.

Suddenly, she jumped backwards, a hand flying to her mouth. "Oh! Pardon me! I didn't mean to be so rude! Let's find a place to sit and chat, hm?"

I turned to Yukinoshita who only sighed. It appeared it would be futile to resist. With that in mind, I dragged myself behind the two women in silence as we found a small coffee shop.

We found a table for four and I couldn't help but stare as Yukinoshita's sister sat down nonchalantly, returning my stare with a smile. I was not going to sit next to her, but what if Yukinoshita decides to sit next to me? That would give her the wrong idea and make Yukinoshita's family life all the more troublesome.

I pulled out the chair across from Yukinoshita's sister and sat down hesitantly. The way she was staring at me would make any guy squirm from embarrassment. 'She's really checking me out!' they would think.

And boy would they be wrong.

My soul itself was being violated.

"So!" Yukinoshita's sister started, glancing at Yukinoshita who wisely sat down next to her. "When did you two begin dating? How did you meet? How could you not tell your loving sister?"

I almost choked on air while Yukinoshita rolled her eyes. "You're being quite rude, don't you think?"

Once again, all innocent-like, Yukinoshita's sister's hand flew in front of her mouth. "Oh, my apologies! I'm Haruno, Yukino-chan's older sister! And who might you be?"

She tilted her head cutely and I rubbed the back of my neck. "Hikigaya."

It was the most I was willing to give to this woman. She showed a quick expression of surprise before tilting her head further. "Hikigaya? Hm. Hikigaya-kun?" Her head suddenly snapped back into place. How did she not get a whiplash? "OK! I'll remember that! So, answer my questions!"

Her tone was pleasant and almost disguised her forceful demand. I unconsciously shifted, thinking over my words and how to not make things worse. Should we reveal our history to quite possibly the worst person to tell?

Literally no one knows how we kept in contact all these years. In fact, we might even be considered secret childhood friends.

After a minute of neither Yukinoshita or myself speaking up, Haruno-san sighed. "Keeping things tight-lipped, hm? It's okay! I like a good mystery every now and then! I played quite a bit of Clue back in the day!" And I played a lot of this game that's basically satire on our judicial system. She placed a finger on her chin, her head tilted up. "How about you start with how you met all the way when you were little, adorable children?"

The revelation that she knew should have surprised me, but it didn't. This is Yukinoshita's sister after all.

"I don't recall ever mentioning him to anyone," Yukinoshita stated, avoiding explaining herself while giving Haruno-san a question of her own. A clever tactic when avoiding confirmation or denial.

Haruno-san gave Yukinoshita a wink in response. "I have my ways Yukino-chan! Or did you not think I would notice you and Hayato-kun no longer giving little-old-me chocolate anymore?"

"…Hayama-kun." Yukinoshita sighed, placing a hand on her forehead. She was exasperated, but I was confused. Why would Hayama tell Haruno-san about us?

Haruno-san placed her cheek on her left palm and gave me a look of endearment. "But who would have thought you two stayed in touch after all this time! Or was it a reunion of fate? That's quite the romance!"

"Anything else, nee-san?" Yukinoshita's hissed, not unlike a cat.

"So scary! You two wouldn't happen to be secretly dating, hm?"

"Nope."

"No."

"Really? It's not often Yukino-chan hangs out with a friend, let alone a boy!" She returned to a proper seating position and never once did that award-winning smile never leave her face. "Especially one…like you, Hikigaya-kun."

Did she just lick her lips? I gulped again, not entirely sure what to make of that vaguely ominous statement. Was that a threat? I think it was a threat. Wait, did she see me checking out her voluptuous body and is going to sue? I don't have that kind of money! You're already rich! Besides I'm still in high school! I have hormones! What about those old men who are probably undressing you with their eyes?!

Something touched my leg and before I could check, Haruno-san tilted her head and her smile widened. "So! Come on! You don't have to keep it a secret from me! How long have you two been seeing each other?"

She was playing us, and her words. I was about to look away when I felt something soft touch my leg again before rubbing gently. Wait, don't tell me she took off her shoes?!

"We're not dating…but we've talked every now and then since." I stated before taking another gulp of air. Every now and then being practically every day.

Her foot retreated, allowing me to breathe. Yukinoshita was looking more and more annoyed as time passed. "If you could leave anytime nee-san, preferably now."

"You're quite the character, Hikigaya-kun! It takes a real man to win over Yukino-chan!" She just did the impossible. She _ignored_ Yukinoshita. "But make sure you take care of Yukino-chan. She's quite sensitive, you know?"

"Uh…" I wasn't sure how to respond and slightly slid down in my seat.

She seemed to finally notice my discomfort and frowned, her lips slightly puffed out. "Did I do something to make you upset? I don't want Yukino-chan's boyfrie-I mean friend hating me."

"N-no…just, my legs are kind of sensitive." I'm really glad I didn't sit next to her. I could only shudder at the thought of her using her two globes of mass destruction.

Yukinoshita however, raised a brow. "That's a strange fetish you have, Hikigaya-kun. Revealing them to a stranger is begging to be sued."

Shouldn't I be the one suing for sexual harassment? Before I could retort, Haruno-san began laughing like a hyena, and with each laugh I received a kick. "Yep! You're perfect for Yukino-chan, Hikigaya-kun!"

"Like we have both stated, we are not dating or in a relationship." Yukinoshita's words sliced Haruno-san's laughter like a sharp knife. Yet Haruno-san didn't look bothered in the least.

"Oh? What a shame! Well, as long as you're having fun, I suppose it's fine for now!" Haruno-san stood up and stretched very animatedly and I averted my eyes from her bouncing chest. She quickly bent over and she looked like she was going to whisper to Yukinoshita. "Mother's still really upset over you living by yourself, you know?"

It wasn't a whisper, because I heard it loud and clear. I remember Yukinoshita mentioning offhandedly that her mother disagreed with her living by herself, but Haruno-san suggested it was much worse than a disagreement. I could only frown as Yukinoshita took a deep breath. "I'll be fine, nee-san."

"Ooh! Such confidence! Sorry! I just wanted to offer some help, but it seems you don't need any! Or rather…" She gave me an all-too pleasant smile. Her smile quickly transformed into a sheepish one. "But Hikigaya-kun, if you and Yukino-chan ever do get hitched, let's go out for some tea, 'k?" How did she go from assuming we were dating to marriage?! Not wasting any time, she skipped out of the shop with a sense of exuberance.

When she merged with the crowd outside the store, I released a huge sigh of relief and slid further down into my chair. "So…that's your sister."

Yukinoshita rubbed her temple, as if she had a severe headache. "Yes. I was hoping you two would never meet."

"Yeah, I can see why. But wow…" I sat back up and tilted my head upwards to look at the light fixture above a nearby table.

Yukinoshita smiled wryly. "She really does take your breath away, doesn't she?"

In more ways than one, that's for sure. It was hard to talk around her without feeling conscious of every syllable. I looked Yukinoshita straight in the eye. "Sure, but I don't think I've ever met someone so..." Yukinoshita looked at me curiously, waiting for me to continue. "Constantly smiling, beautiful, apologizing for no reason, rich…if that isn't the ideal woman any man desires, I don't know what is. But, ideals are ideals."

"You're saying she's fake?" Yukinoshita asked to clarify and I could see a smile tugging her lips.

I nodded. "It works though. She must have a lot of men wrapped around her finger."

Yukinoshita didn't say anything before placing a fist under her chin. "Perhaps I need to reassess my judgement regarding your eyes. They seem to have perks I haven't accounted for."

How did we end up talking about my eyes again? I glared at her and she responded with a mischievous smile, and it only made me think back to her well-endowed sister.

I learned smiles come in many different forms and can be altered on the spot. I couldn't count the number of smiles Yukinoshita Haruno showed me.

* * *

To survive in this world, you must make yourself stand out. That is how you make it on top and ensure your survival. When you're at the top, all who are beneath you will squirm and follow your every command, because they have no reason to refute you. You made it to the top and are contributing a large piece to society depending on your profession.

But no one ever stays on top. One day, someone will climb up to meet you eye-to-eye and shove you off. That is what makes competition and the progression of our species.

But that is wrong. To stand out isn't the average way to survive. Otherwise how do nobodies such as my parents make income to provide for their wonderful kids? Forcing someone to stand out is to take credit for their success and ignore them when they fall. It is nothing but self-satisfaction. Living quietly in the shadows is all someone needs to avoid unnecessary troubles and live a satisfying life.

In other words, don't live in Tokyo.

I raised my arms to stretch as the two of us stepped off the train. Suddenly a jolt of pain erupted in my side. "Stop that."

"I was just stretching," I grumbled before stuffing my hands back into my pockets. How she managed to convince me to come all the way to Tokyo is beyond me. Just over forty or so minutes of incessant train speakers. They really need to raise the quality on those things or don't have them at all.

It also didn't help that the two of us were in close proximity the entire time so I was more flustered than usual. My hand was still tingling from the sheer amount of times our hands brushed.

We climbed several steps, trying our best to stay together in the mass of bodies that walked robotically. I didn't see anyone wearing the Sobu uniform, not that I was expecting to. We were in Tokyo on a Friday. Normal people would spend the weekend here, but not Yukinoshita. If she needed something she'd get it, no matter where she had to go.

At least, that was how it used to be. Now that she's on her own, she didn't have that kind of luxury. She had to be mindful of how much she spends in order to avoid contacting her family just to ask for money. Not to mention I had a feeling they were tracking her card. They seemed like the type of family to do that.

When we managed to exit, we released a collective sigh. It wasn't nearly as busy near the station as I expected. Once we reached fresh air, there weren't crowds or anything; people already dispersed heading their own ways like the corporate slaves they were.

"Where to?" I turned left and right, trying to see if I could see the store we were headed to. She said it wasn't far from the station.

"This way," she said, jerking her head to the right. I nodded and we began walking along the cramped sidewalk. Occasionaly I would shift behind her when someone approached on the right.

Yukinoshita would do the same whenever some tourist approached on our left.

We eventually reached a large four-way intersection. I couldn't help but recall several anime that showed a similar scene. The roads were large and wide with faded out lines indicating where the pedestrians crossed.

I looked to the right and could only see a bunch of bland, unattractive buildings. They must be office buildings and apartment complexes. Turning to the left had a bunch of showy buildings with bright, loud billboards and signs on them.

There was the signal. I was about to cross the street when Yukinoshita tugged my sleeve and began pulling me the other way. "Oi, isn't that the store over there?" I was pointing to a store that had guitars on showcase and a sign saying GUITAR PLANET.

Yukinoshita shook her head. "No, it's further down." Well she would know which store she's looking for, but I couldn't help but be sceptical. She had proven in the past to be terrible with directions. She glared at my sceptical expression. "Do you doubt me?"

The tone was threatening and laced with bitter frost. "N-no. Just wondering what the store's called."

She sighed and we quickly began walking in order to not have to wait again for the signal. "Shimokura. Trust me, we won't miss it."

"Okay." With the name, I began looking at nearby stores, just in case we pass by it.

I gave up searching when we passed by three music stores. And I wasn't even paying attention to the stores across the street.

"We're here."

My head snapped up and in front of me almost made me blind. It was bright yellow, standing out greatly among the neighbouring stores. It also helped define the pitch-black building next to it. A partnership, perhaps.

I looked at Yukinoshita and was surprised to see a gentle smile across her face. I couldn't help but relax. Music was both good and evil. There were so many different genres and millions of songs. Plenty to hate, plenty to love. I may hate any and all songs that my classmates blast during lunch (hence why I quickly found my safe haven) but that isn't a reason to hate music as a whole. You just can't.

I followed Yukinoshita into the store, taking my time to admire the various instruments on display. When we had to choose between music or calligraphy for our courses, I chose calligraphy. I couldn't see myself doing either, but calligraphy seemed easier and could help my penmanship. Music required an incredible amount of practice and effort that I just couldn't be bothered.

"So what instrument do you plan on getting?" I asked, reaching out but not quite touching a hanging saxophone. My reflection was clear in the brass. I wondered if it was new.

"I think I would like to try woodwind. My guitar skills have reached an appropriate level to move on."

As she said that, I couldn't help but hear slight disappointment in her tone. While I was debating whether or not I should pry, I watched her begin examining the various woodwind instruments. Flutes, clarinets, saxophones, fagottos…

I spared a tuba that was in the corner a glance. I smirked at the thought of Yukinoshita carrying that large instrument. It wasn't unusual for someone of small stature to play the large brass wind, but it still planted a strange image in my head.

But Yukinoshita wasn't going to try a brass wind. Even she knew her limits regarding her stamina.

Something small, graceful, quiet yet forceful…yeah, the woodwinds are definitely for her.

And yet she was being oddly undecisive. She hadn't even touched one yet and only looked at them with a faraway expression, as if missing someone dear.

"Excuse me, do you need any help?" The employee snapped her out of her stupor and she quickly responded, stuttering and all.

"N-no, I'm fine. Just…browsing for now."

The employee nodded, leaving to assist another customer. That or try and convince them to buy the expensive looking electric guitar they're looking at.

I walked over to Yukinoshita. "What's up? I thought you said it'd be quick."

She sighed and turned to face me. "Choosing an instrument is no easy task. There's no way to know if I'd enjoy it."

I raised a brow, slightly confused. Enjoying her talents isn't something Yukinoshita ever thought about. They were just something on a checklist she needed to complete. Then she would write it off, almost never finding a use for them. I scanned the room and saw something in the corner. "There's a room for testing instruments."

She didn't respond verbally and only looked away from me. I had a feeling she already knew that. But if she wasn't telling me the problem then what did she want from me?

I tried to wrack my brain around why Yukinoshita couldn't choose the instrument she wanted to learn next. Why did her mindset immediately go to enjoyment instead of obligation?

"Do you…"

"Hm?"

I turned back to the testing room. "Let's go to the testing room."

"Huh?" I was already walking, hoping she'd follow. If the person you're with suddenly demands to go somewhere and goes without asking for consent, then you have no choice but to oblige that person.

I carefully closed the door behind me once Yukinoshita entered. No one else was here, surprisingly enough. I made myself comfortable at the table which was surrounded by chairs with cushions. The wood was mahogany, making me wonder just how much money these people made.

I leaned back and placed my hands behind my head before jerking it towards the instruments to the side. "You should play something." Her expression blanked and I gulped. I was hoping to play this coolly, hoping she'd do as I say and then the problem's solved. I coughed, trying to get back whatever aura I had before. "You like the guitar, right? A lot more than you expected. So, maybe you should stick with it."

She frowned and her eyes darted to the side. "There's no real reason to keep playing. I can play advanced songs with no problem."

She didn't deny liking it. Logically there was just no reason to stop. And I agreed.

But she didn't want to stop and it was making her disheartened. I bit my lip, trying to think of some way this could work for her. "Maybe…you can try and perfect it? Become an expert. Make it a hobby. You don't really do much for fun, so it would be nice."

"I don't know…"

I stood up and grabbed a random acoustic guitar off the rack. I handed it to her and tried to give her a comforting smile. "Play a song. I'll determine whether you should keep playing guitar or not."

She shivered and her face contorted. My smile was wiped off my face. You try to be nice and help someone out and all you get is hurt.

She took a deep breath, her left hand sliding down the neck slightly and she strummed a note with her right hand. Before she continued, she looked me straight in the eye and spoke with a heartwarming smile. "By the way, Hikigaya-kun. I do have something that I find fun."

…How someone finds fun in memorizing the periodic table is beyond me.

* * *

"Oniichan!" Rushing up to me the moment I stepped inside my humble abode was my little sister.

"Hm? What is it Komachi?" I stifled a yawn while also rubbing my stomach. I dropped my bag and kicked off my shoes. I was tired and I still had to prepare for school tomorrow. At least it was Saturday so it won't be long. Which class should I take a nap in?

"You were gone for so long, I was worried! …Eh? You went shopping?" I looked down and saw my right hand was still holding a plastic bag. I shoved it in the girl's direction.

"Yeah, here. Some candy from a convenience store. Eat it sparingly. I'm not going to Tokyo again in a long time…" I groaned and felt the weight of the bag leave my hands. There wasn't much candy in there. I had to save some money for the return trip.

"There's not much in here…" She looked up at me, annoyance gracing her cute features.

"Well two-hundred yen isn't going to get much nowadays." I waved her off and strolled over to the living room couch before collapsing.

"Cheapskate…"

I heard nothing. "Is the bath ready?"

"Yep!" She replied energetically with vigor that was completely absent a moment ago.

"Great." I got back up. I wasn't expecting the bath to actually be ready, but Komachi was always on top of things regarding my health and care. Who needs romance when you have a little sister?

Said sister suddenly appeared in front of me, blocking my path to the nice, refreshing bath awaiting me. "I can make dinner as well."

"No need. Already ate." After Yukinoshita decided to continue playing the guitar and bought another one, she offered to buy dinner. I rejected her immediately for many reasons that I'm sure she was aware of.

I never win an argument with her.

Before I knew it, we were eating curry at a local curry shop.

"Huh? You didn't have enough candy to buy me money but you had enough to buy yourself dinner?"

I think someone needs some rest. It was also the perfect distraction. "When did you go to sleep last night?"

Komachi blinked before knocking her head with a fist and sticking her tongue out embarrassedly. Aside from cuteness overload, I jerked my head towards the stairs. "You should sleep before you embarrass yourself tomorrow." Although to anyone else her slip ups are probably classified as endearing.

She placed her hands on her hips and stomped with her cute little feet. "Not until you tell me where you were, why you were out, and who you were with!"

"A friend?"

Her instantaneous gasp caught me off guard and I couldn't help but step backwards as her eyes began to water. "Y-you're not lying, right Oniichan?! If you're lying Komachi will never forgive you!"

"I promise I'm not."

"Wait…" Her face lit up and a hand raced to her mouth. "Could it be that person you're always talking to at night?"

I blinked, not realizing anyone actually heard any of our conversations.

Can someone kill me? Like, right now? Actually, I think I'll die from embarrassment.

"You weren't talking to an imaginary friend?!" My eyes widened from pure disbelief and I tried my hardest to say something but the jumbled mess of words in my brain refused to leave. "Oh, thank _goodness!_ Kāsan was really worried and so was Komachi! I'm so glad you have a friend!"

My own mother and sister…I didn't know what to say. I don't think I could even speak anyways. I just slowly trudged along to the bathroom, ignoring the glimmer of hope in Komachi's eyes.

Now I just need to make sure Komachi doesn't ever access my phone. Or email.

It's time to hide some evidence. And that evidence is you, Yukinoshita.

* * *

 **Okay so definitely more chapters to come. At least one more for the first year and then we enter canon territory.**

 **I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! I think it was good, all things considered. I had a lot of fun writing it.**

 **Please let me know how I did with this one. I want to keep improving writing the characters so if there's anything you felt weird or wrong let me know! Or if you thought I did fine, let me know! The reviews from last chapter really helped, no matter how short! It made me aware I was on the right track at least.**

 **Granted there's not much to say about this chapter, but still!**

 **Speaking of the reviews, you guys really motivated me!**

 **No, I am not pulling the amnesia card like some of you feared haha.**

 **I hope their little…reunion was good. I was personally satisfied but as always, I'm more curious about your guys' opinions!**

 **The sisters have been introduced. Haruno's encounter happened a year early, but I feel like it was inevitable. Once you know Yukino, you meet Haruno. No way around it. I feel kind of bad at how similar I made her introduction to canon, but it really was the best way to introduce her character.**

 **I hope I wrote her and Komachi somewhat well.**

 **I made sure not to rush this chapter so I really hope you guys enjoyed it (yes, repetition but it's true).**

 **Next chapter will probably finish up the first year with some time skips.**

 **Also, fun fact: Every chapter so far,** ** _not_** **counting Author's Notes, has been at least 8000 words. You know why ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

Gracefully, she managed to place the cup down without making a sound. She pondered what I had told her. And whenever she went into deep thought, her hand formed a fist under her chin and her eyes focused on her lap.

I raised my own teacup to my lips, making sure to savour the taste. It didn't matter how much I visited, the taste managed to become more and more exquisite with each intrusion. This time, the flavour was incredibly rich and I wondered what type of sencha tea she brewed today. It was similar, yet nothing like traditional sencha tea. Looking directly into the dark green liquid, small particles drifted about calmly to form an unrecognizable pattern. Wait, I think it's a five-hundred-yen coin! Anyways, it looked cheap, but the taste was on another level.

Her sigh brought me back to the level of mortality. I waited, wondering what she was going to say. I had told her about my encounter with Komachi, and I couldn't help but wonder what her thoughts were.

"Well, whether you decided to tell your family about me doesn't really matter. It is of no concern to me." With that, she picked up her cup to finish the remainder of this lavish beverage. Although her other hand formed a fist. "I already knew you didn't considering how I had to sneak by to see you at the hospital."

"Oh…okay." I wasn't surprised. What else could she have said? Be disappointed in me that I didn't tell my family I knew a girl for several years and have been talking to her every night for those several years?

When I put it that way, my shoulders slumped and I let out a sigh filled with disappointment. It was more pathetic than I realized. Yet I wasn't feeling any particular shame. I gave Yukinoshita another glance. Her eyes were closed as she sipped from her cup. She looked so serene; her face giving off a sense of otherworldly beauty. It was a fact that Yukinoshita was the most beautiful girl in the country.

I say these things neutrally and not as one of those poor saps infatuated with her without knowing her true colours. Her fair skin, growing hair that resembles the night sky, long eyelashes that emphasize every expression she makes…she wasn't too unlike her sister.

Perfection was in her grasp. Would she take it? I was certain she would.

"I'm more concerned about my sister." I raised a brow, not saying anything. She continued, "What will she do with this newfound knowledge, I wonder? Was it really a coincidence she ran into us at the mall?"

All my moneys on no. I couldn't tell if Haruno-san was the protective older sister or the pestering older sister. Did she actually care about Yukinoshita? Or did she only care about herself and pushing Yukinoshita's buttons amused her to no end? I dipped my head, pretending to take a sip of my tea but in reality, I gave a glance below Yukinoshita's neck. I wondered if Haruno-san ever pushed _those_ buttons? She had enough to brag and she seemed the type of person to gloat. I didn't have enough information to reach a conclusion, so all I could do was speculate.

"We could stop seeing each other…" Bad word choice. I could feel my face flush, so I cleared my throat. "I mean, stop…hanging out to maybe give her the idea that we aren't as close as she assumes?"

"We aren't."

Oh, right. She assumed we were dating. "You know what I mean. That hangout was a one-time thing. And as far as she knows, we were hanging out at a men's clothing store. Not exactly date material."

Yukinoshita sighed, placing her hand on her forehead before letting out an exasperated sigh. That sigh, I've noticed, was always present whenever I suggested a terrible idea in her eyes. "Before I even address your… 'solution', how do we know that she only saw us at that one store?"

My eyes widened and my throat became dry in an instant, despite the tea. Instinctively, I looked behind me. "So, she's the extreme level of overprotective older sister." I've only heard about them in legends. The older sister who would do anything to make sure their younger sister was safe, even if it meant resorting to extreme measures.

"No, that's just you. She's far too busy to do something so trivial as looking after me."

The tone used was discomforting and I wasn't sure how to respond. "She looked after you before, right?"

She snorted, which caught me by surprise. Yukinoshita would never do something so ungraceful in front of anyone. "When I was in elementary."

"What about middle school?" I recalled the one time I decided to leave my luxurious room in order to guide Yukinoshita on the path to become more independent. Unfortunately, she ended up with my money and her mother's bad side.

She seemed to know what I was specifically mentioning and grew a blank stare. "That was a devious trick set up by our families. If I knew it would just be the three of us I would have refused."

I wasn't sure what to make of that statement so I decided not to probe further. The less I knew, the better. That's what I always said. But whenever it involves Yukinoshita, I get the desire _to_ know.

Thankfully, I didn't have to ask because she continued, "Apparently Hayama-kun mentioned offhandedly that we weren't talking much then so our parents decided to create a scenario where we would meet and talk. My mother wasn't very pleased with me, to the say the least."

Her smile became wry but her voice held shame. I grunted, raising my cup to drink some more tea only to feel a small droplet on my lips. It was empty. I placed the cup down, glaring at it for failing to cover this awkward silence. I turned to face the window of her apartment. "Do you regret it?"

I could hear her shake her head, her hair making a very slight sound in our silence. "Hikigaya-kun, I don't regret anything in my life."

I turned to her faster than even I expected and gave her a sceptical expression. "Really? Nothing at all? I find that hard to believe."

She pushed her hair behind her ears and continued moving her hand down her neck before resting it on the skin between her neck and shoulder. I gulped. "Of course, you'd find it hard to believe. I have a feeling you have plenty of regrets."

'Have a feeling' my ass. You outright knew and I wanted to bang my face on the table for bringing up the topic. Tch, now I was in a bad mood.

Suddenly Yukinoshita stood up, grabbing my plate as she did. "More tea?" I nodded sharply and before I could say the magic word, she was gone.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" I was mulling over my regrets and completely forgot to say 'please'. She's probably seriously pissed right now. Yukinoshita values manners far more than most high school students these days. I also value them and to completely disregard them because of some petty reason is completely against the Hikigaya code.

Great, another regret.

"Here." I opened my eyes and the same tea as before was sitting before me. The aroma alone ridding my obnoxious thoughts.

I took a sip and my soul was cleansed. "Thank you." It's not every day I show my heartfelt gratitude, but I wanted to make up for the rudeness I displayed earlier. Her expression showed no change and she only nodded. I wasn't sure if she received my gratitude or not. "I'll, uh, pay you back."

"There's no need for that."

Instant rejection. I would have left it at that, but the bad taste in my mouth that would leave would ruin this delightful tea. "Uh, I insist."

"Oh? And how do you plan on doing that when your wallet's as empty as your eyes?"

Ignoring the jab at my eyes, I wasn't backing down. "I have some savings…I kind of need it for Komachi's allowance and all." I could see her rolling her eyes but if she were to have a younger sister she'd understand. "I save it for…Well, just let me pay you back. Any place of your choice. Just make sure it's under a thousand yen."

She scoffed at my restriction and shook her head. "A thousand yen isn't worth anything worthwhile I'm afraid."

My back straightened. "That's quite the insult! Especially when you've got several ramen and sushi shops right by your apartment…" None of them were Tenka Ippin unfortunately…

She tilted her head curiously. "That's right…you said ramen would 'indulge me in Japan's history and culture through taste buds'."

I rubbed the back of my head. "Did I say that?"

She nodded. "Quite fervently I might add. It was almost inspiring."

"Then we'll definitely get you to try ramen! I'll even increase the budget to two thousand yen."

"You had more money after all…" she muttered, her eyes narrowed, clearly unimpressed with me. She sighed and shook her head, as if to clear her mind from trying to understand some convoluted mystery. "Very well. It's a date."

…

Wait, what?

* * *

I couldn't help but hum a song that was played on NHK-FM the other day. It was an old song but catchy nonetheless. I tossed a coin into the air and caught it before repeating. It would have been a good day if it wasn't for the fact that this one-hundred-yen coin was the last remaining money in my savings. Komachi wasn't going to be happy.

I winced at the thought but I knew if she knew the reason for my misfortune, she'd be elated instead. After all, friends are something she thought I'd never have. The hospital visits only cemented those feelings. I couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. She only wanted the best for me and that day was probably as traumatizing for her as it was me.

I stuffed the coin in my pocket when I realized what time it was. The sun had moved slightly indicating lunch was almost over.

I groaned, wishing desperately that I had one more one-hundred-yen coin in order to get something from the vending machine. I didn't have any friends to borrow money from either, not that I would. Owing someone money is something my conscience couldn't handle.

Unlike elementary where reputation was a minor consideration, in high school it was what defined you from now until the day you die. Unless you cease any and all relationships.

Yukinoshita, who's reputation is something similar to a queen, could never make me, a complete nobody, lunch like back then.

I mentally sobbed at the thought. If there was one thing I missed over the years, it was those lovely bentos. If I knew I'd never be able to have one again, I'd have cherished each and every single one.

Of course, I had lunches made by Komachi every now and then, but it wasn't every day and sometimes I'd just forget to make lunch myself.

"I had a feeling you'd be here."

That one-liner…it could only be one person! …Is my first thought before I digested the voice. I glared upwards at the person standing over me. The prince of Sobu High School: Hayama.

Wait, we weren't supposed to _ever_ meet again! Not for at least five years! It hadn't even been one year!

I stood up and met his smiling face; my own glare faltering. "What do you want?" I tried to sound intimidating, but I think my voice cracked.

He laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head before extending his hand. "I think we should be formally introduced, don't you? I'm Hayama Hayato."

I stared at the extended hand for a minute. Any person with common sense would retract their hand, but Hayama kept it out. I looked up back at his face to see his smile hadn't wavered in the slightest. Begrudgingly, I returned the handshake. "Hikigaya."

"Nice to meet you, Hikigaya-kun." He smiled and I thought I felt a cool breeze. I've seen this tactic once, back in middle school. 'The Zone'. Of course, when I tried to explain it to Yukinoshita, she ignored me.

"…Yeah." I couldn't be rude because he wasn't being openly hostile yet, and he needed to make the first move. And that would be when Yukinoshita's mentioned.

He let go of my hand before stepping back. "I just wanted to thank you. You helped Yukinoshita-san when she was in a bind, and I could never repay that." I felt a shiver up my spine and I was left stunned. "I'll never forget that day, and my own uselessness. You helped someone you never met without any regards to yourself…"

To be praised for my actions sounded great, but I had to correct him. "I knew what I was doing. It's just she was worth more than whatever happened to me." This time he was the one who was stunned and I had to hold back my own triumphant grin. That event was something I long moved on from. It may have shaped who I became, but there's no reason to keep looking back at it. So, I turned around and began walking away from Hayama, waving flippantly. "Well, it doesn't matter. That was a long time ago."

"It…doesn't matter?" I could hear the frown in his voice but I didn't care to turn around.

Suddenly a firm hand gripped my shoulder. I glared at it while noticing how perfect it was. Perfectly trimmed fingernails, perfect skin while also retaining some callouses. The perfect mixture of an active and social person. "Then please accept this."

He let go of me and I turned around to see him extending a five-hundred-yen coin towards me. I gave him another one of my glares, yet he smiled unfaltering. "I don't accept charity."

Instead of recoiling, he laughed, making me recoil instead. "Then accept it as thanks."

"You owe me nothing."

"I owe you everything." My brows furrowed and I decided to resort to the ultimate rejection technique.

I spat on the ground, in front of his perfectly shone shoes. This time, he recoiled and I grinned maliciously. "I hate owing someone. I hate being owed even more."

His fists tightened over the coin but he smiled anyways. "Well, then, I hope to get along, Hikigaya-kun."

Sure. I'm sure you do.

I watched him fast-walk back inside the school. He must have been holding it in. Tough guy, I'll admit. I was about to turn around when a glint on the ground caught my attention.

"That son of a…" He dropped the coin at some point and left it there for me to pick up. I growled, hesitantly pocketing it. I should have known he'd also have the skills of a ninja. Seems to be a rich people thing.

* * *

A smile was plastered on my face with no intention of leaving as I carefully handled the plate in my hands. Washing dishes is but one of my many talents, for when I'm done you'll think they're brand new! That's a good slogan when advertising as a house husband, right?

As if I'd manage to become one. Yukinoshita had made it clear that she wouldn't let me become one. _Do anything you want. Except that._ All I heard was 'Do anything you want, except the one thing you actually want'. I suppose it's the definition of a dream job.

To work is to lose, that is the one true fact of the universe. Which means every corporate slave out there is a loser. I'm a loser. But sometimes, sacrifices are necessary for upholding happiness in those that truly matter. And who matters more than little sisters and daughters? Why else would my parents continue to work away their lives? Not for me.

And yet despite the sour thoughts, my smile remained intact. The aroma of the building I was in was true heaven. And I got to stay here for about a third of the day!

Too bad I had to deal with annoying people who didn't know the fine details regarding this sweet beverage, but that is why I, if they desire it, enlighten them. Of course, I learned I really didn't know anything about my dearest drink until that day a few weeks ago.

A knock on the wood separating me from the outside world brought me back to reality. "Hey, Hikigaya-kun? You finished back there?"

I placed the white plate to the side and dropped the sponge in the sink. It probably didn't go there, but priorities. "Yeah, Boss."

Boss: as in my superior and the person who runs this lovely architecture. I quickly stepped outside, adjusting my name tag. It felt strangely empowering having one of these. In normal retail stores, customers are always in the right and will do anything to get cheaper goods, as long as it's within the law. Coffee shops are more home-like. You're treated with respect and gratitude and no underhanded tactics are used to get money out of you.

That, and this isn't a terribly busy coffee shop. People stop by on breaks from work, too busy to cause trouble and be annoying. Well, they can still be annoying; grumbling and complaining about how their co-worker managed to not only use all the paper in the printer but also jam it.

"One last customer!" She smiled and I frowned. Those eyes…those curved lips…I recognize that expression…

 _She was appraising me with her eyes, her face blank. My shoulders shifted under her gaze and my torso twisted to face away. I made sure to at the very least keep eye-contact. I had to keep some dignity._

 _Suddenly, she smiled, both her eyes half-lidded and a small mischievous smile grew on her face. "I think I know the perfect job for you."_

I glanced at a clock. "It's closing time."

"Just go! You don't keep a lady waiting!" She pulled me forward, pushing me slightly towards the now empty café. "Her order is on the counter, ready and waiting! So, go and give it to her and give 'er a nice chat."

"…Yes Boss." I bowed my head slightly before making my way to the back counter where the drink was prepared. I blinked as I stared at the pitch-black beverage contrasted by the delightfully white teacup. I picked it up with grace akin to my long-time companion and began walking. My back was straight and my eyes darted down every now and then to the cup, making sure the beverage didn't spill.

I stopped walking and looked around the shop, pausing at the bright lights outside the store. The coffee shop I was in was built entirely of glass. There was no privacy in here so if you wanted to have a secret conversation with someone, this wasn't the place.

Yet at night there was something oddly soothing about the calm darkness surrounding the store. Located at the corner of an intersection, the sounds of cars filled the quiet air. During the day, the glass managed to make the building almost entirely soundproof and the only thing you can hear are the voices of many corporate slaves.

"Excuse me, my order?" The voice made me nearly trip on my own feet and my eyes never left the drink in my hands. Recollecting myself, I scanned the shop and saw her at the far end of the store, where the trees outside the building managed to give a somewhat private area.

When I arrived at her table, I placed her cup down gently before standing up straight with my hands in front of me. "Thank you for your patronage." My eyes didn't dare meet hers. I was ready to die from embarrassment.

"It tastes good. That must mean you didn't make it." I winced and my smile was no longer present. I opened my mouth but she continued. "Of course, I haven't had your coffee since you first started."

When I first started, I brewed my first coffee. It was all right to my taste buds, horrid to hers. She then made me promise to never subject her to my coffee until it was perfected. Naturally, I brought up how she made me try her bentos until they were perfected. She had turned red and, well…

My spirits were crushed.

 _"At least my bentos were already good."_

But after a few weeks, I could safely say my coffee skills were adequate! "I think you'd be surprised."

"I hope so." I watched as she took a sip with her eyes closed. Seeing Yukinoshita drink coffee was different, somehow, from her drinking tea. It wasn't as serene as she used both hands despite the handle yet it was strangely just as enrapturing to watch. Her lips hugged the cup's lip and her creamy throat bobbed with every gulp. Her eyes snapped open and she gave me a sidelong glare. "Don't stand there so creepily. Sit down."

"Ah, right." I quickly took a seat in front of her, glancing out the window at the swaying trees. It must have been a windy day. That was a good sign, considering we were approaching summer and the last week had been nothing but dead air. "Uh, why are you here?"

"I wanted to see just how much you've improved since last time. Seeing is believing, after all."

"I still think it's unfair that I have a job when you don't." Not to mention it was because of her I had this job. I didn't even ask for it and signing me up for such a thing was irresponsible.

"You could have declined." I could have. But when I learned it was a coffee shop, I gave in to the sweet temptation deep inside my heart where my love for this delicious beverage burns.

"Well at least the pay is decent. Gratitude for my service isn't bad either." Around eight-hundred fifty yen an hour…I have more money than ever before! Komachi will be so happy with her next allowance! Maybe I'll give her a raise?

Her eyes widened. "Really? People actually don't question whether their food is infected by your touch? They actually thank you?"

I narrowed my eyes. Don't be so surprised! My acts of service were very much deserving of the muttered 'thank you's I get! And out of all the customers, I think you're the most rude one by far. Maybe. "Since I doubt you arrived just now…How'd I do?"

She paused, placing a fist below her chin as per usual. My body tensed and I unconsciously leaned forward. She looked up at me and gave me an evil smile. Tilting her head, she declared her verdict: "Sufficient."

"Uh, is that good or bad?"

"Hikigaya-kun, you do know what sufficient means, yes?"

I do, believe me. What I didn't know was what it meant in regards to your harsh grading system. Last I checked, 'decent' was worth the praise of God.

"Well, I'll take it! I'll keep improving anyways."

Her smile transformed into one much sincerer and elegant. "I really am glad you're enjoying this job."

"Enjoying might be a bit much…"

"You quit your last job less than a week after working there."

"It was a bookstore…opinions are really overrated."

She gave me a look full of irritation and disgust before letting a sigh escape her lips. "Well regardless, at least this one you can stick to. It's only on the weekend too which is good, since I'll help and make sure you don't get any extra homework for the weekend."

That's right, my only day off and it's spent working. I've already began the corporate slave path, haven't I? Is it too late to reset and try a different option?

Although, to be able to talk about one of my passions (MAX) without restraint is kind of nice. Sometimes I do that with Komachi and Yukinoshita, however they just tune me out because they don't understand. Boss on the other hand hired me _because_ of my passion.

"I'll help Boss clean up…"

Simultaneously, as if we both tasted a bad smell, we stood up. She bent over, letting her hair cover her face as she grabbed her handbag from the floor. When she stood back up straight, she pushed a strand of hair behind her ears and presented a small smile. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow." She left the store gracefully with a sway to her hips that I couldn't recall. Of course, she wouldn't ask me to walk her to her building. It was unreasonable on plenty of levels. It was fairly close to this humble café and I still had cleanup to do.

"Hey, lovers boy, help me reach the top shelf!" I gulped down my blush before heading behind the counter to help Boss with storing the delicate silverware. Specifically, the hard to reach places for the vertically challenged. There was a minute of silence, for which I was grateful.

I didn't bother refuting her claim, for it would only cause needless and tedious explanations on my part. And she was the manager of this café and knew her words. She'd somehow manage to get my entire life's story and more from me.

During our interview, I said the bare minimum hoping to conceal any and all secret motivations. Yet I had a feeling she saw through me and more.

"So, I didn't know you had a girlfriend. You should invite her more often, I'll give her a discount!"

Unfortunately for me, she was not just perceptive but social as well. My mind wracked itself in order to think of an appropriate response. If I said yes, Yukinoshita would get discounts at this café, which happened to be next to her humble abode. It wasn't exactly the highest of quality goods, but it was definitely satisfying for the price. To be even cheaper would be the dream of any member of the Go-Home Club.

But of course, I could never be satisfied with such a lie. Yukinoshita's name to be squandered by association with me was something neither of us could allow. It would be bad, for example, if a certain meddling sister visited and managed to pry information from the employees. It wouldn't be hard for someone of her status…and assets.

"No. Never seen her in my life." My hand shook, almost dropping the stack of plates in my hand. That was more than I needed to say and was the typical reaction when lying about meeting someone unpleasant. I needed to brush up on my loner-interpersonal skills.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw her head fling back as her chortle echoed the dead store. Her long, blonde ponytail swayed as she shook her head. I recalled my words and failed to see any amusement in them. Regardless, I forced a chuckle, making sure to look away.

"Uh-huh. Well, you certainly were more expressive with her than you ever were with me."

My shoulders rolled back in reflex. Of course, she was watching. It was in human nature to observe those around you, watch the interactions of the strange and unusual. If you could hear them, you would. The desire to know will always be hidden in your mind.

I didn't bother to accuse her of eavesdropping. To accuse your boss of eavesdropping was a sure-fire way to end up on their to-kill list. My current high school one was slowly filling, but just like how you could get hit by a car on a whim, someone terrible who deserves to die could also appear on a whim.

I stayed silent, having already said too much. To describe my relationship with Yukinoshita was far more complicated than either of us realized.

Friends was the simplest way to put it. But I couldn't touch on why it was complicated. That's how complicated it was.

Boss sighed, clearly not happy with the silence. Was she going to fire me? Was this perhaps my last chance at redemption and I screwed up?

I steeled myself, ready for the inevitable conclusion. I've never been fired; I've always quit.

"Hachiman." I recoiled, suddenly grateful I had replaced the stack of plates in my hands with a sponge. "Why do you think I hired you?"

I rubbed the back of my head, before realizing that I had just been holding a sponge. Quickly, my hands were drenched under the faucet. I'd really prefer it if she didn't beat around the bush, so I waited in silence, taking my time washing my hands.

"If you don't know, well, maybe you'll find out one day." Huh? I looked up at her and on her pale complexion was an amused smile. "And yes, by that I mean you're not fired." She stuck out her tongue playfully that I began to question her age.

"Uh, thanks."

"And! You're not allowed to quit until you figure out why I hired you."

That wasn't in the contract. My nod satisfied her. Or maybe she understood that I knew she couldn't force me under these terms. She had just implied she _didn't_ hire me because of my passion. Her words were more confusing than my own monologues.

To figure out why she hired me, I'd have to relive my interview. Something I had no desire to do. I looked back at the empty store, chairs strewn all over. Tables for two with three chairs, some tables with none. My face twitched and I sighed. Working here wasn't that bad, I guess.

* * *

Part of a loner's typical high school life is comprised of two things: nothing and stares. To never spare you a glance is the typical action of any and all. If by some chance you interact with them, they would stare at you in shock, questioning your existence. Not the question of whether you should exist or not, like young, bold middle schoolers but more of a realization that you exist.

We were used to stares. We could even tell what kind of stares were etching into the back of our skulls.

But when you feel like someone's staring at you _every second_ of the day, you become wary.

"If someone's staring at you, it's because they're trying to figure out what kind of specimen you are."

I didn't even bother to entertain her 'joke'. "Seriously, I feel like someone's actually stalking me."

Yukinoshita closed her book gently, barely making a sound before placing it on the coffee table. "Have you bothered to, maybe, turn around and look?"

"Yes, and all I see is a crowd. It's impossible to decipher a stalker from a crowd."

"Did you check to see if anyone was wearing our school uniform?"

"Of course."

"Then either you're delusional, or they're hiding."

"The latter is the most likely." I hoped.

Her eyes became half-lidded, like a cat who doesn't want to hear your justified rants on society and just wants its food. "Somehow I doubt that."

"But they're different…" I placed a hand on my chin, attempting to figure out how to put my senses into words. "The one I get in homeroom is more…pleasant? And more…subtle. The one everywhere else just feels piercing. Kind of like your stares."

She was not impressed.

"W-well, not really. More…judgemental?" Except her stares were the epitome of judgement. I coughed into my fist. "I mean…obsessive. Yeah."

She pushed a few strands of hair away from her eyes. "I thought you ignored such stares."

"Yeah, I do. But they've been more frequent. Normally, people stare for thirteen seconds before moving on and forgetting my existence."

"Huh…people usually stare at me for longer and tend to never forget."

"I wonder why?" I rolled my eyes and her smile became wry.

"Just don't go into any back alleys. I won't be able to help you otherwise." Wait, what?! I thought I was dealing with a stalker, not a…

"R-right." Even if she said it in jest, it was still a possibility. An unlikely one, but that doesn't mean I should cross it off the list. After all, what were the odds I ended up in a hospital on the first day of school? Suddenly, another scenario entered my mindscape. "What if…they know about our relationship?"

Yukinoshita's hair flew to the side when she tilted her head. "Our…relationship? I was not aware we were in one."

My eyes narrowed and I managed to avoid a voice crack for once. "You know what I meant."

Her head returned to its standard position and her eyes were no longer meeting mine. "I doubt they've said anything. I don't recall hearing anything amongst the students."

Neither do I, and I happen to hear all sorts of conversations, whether I want to or not. People just talk about any and all private business they have, not caring for an instance that I'm there. Or maybe they just don't realize I'm there. "Yeah, as far as they know, we have no connection."

"And it can't be Hayama-kun…he's far too busy for something as meaningless as that."

That was true, if not for the fact he knew where I was at lunch that one time, meaning he had to have observed me to an extent. And I didn't even notice. Since then he'd offer a smile and a wave as we passed by each other in the hallway. I never returned the waves and only nodded or bowed my head. Disgust bubbled inside me, but if I reacted any differently, the pack he had clinging to him like bacteria would hound me. I couldn't be bothered to entertain them.

"Then maybe they're trying to use this information as some kind of leverage?" I did not mean to say that out loud. Her inquisitive stare made me gulp. I raised a finger, hoping I didn't sound stupid. "Like to threaten you using their knowledge about our friendship."

"Then let them try. I'll show them no mercy." Why did she sound colder than I've ever heard her? Wait…I think she said something similar when she told me about some chain mail fiasco back in middle school.

"R-right. Thanks, and sorry, I guess it wasn't as big of a deal as I thought." I looked down in embarrassment. It was unlike me to be so flustered, especially regarding something I was quite used to.

"No, it's fine. I'm…glad you can confide in me. It makes me glad that I was able to help in some way. It reminds me of…" No, don't say it. "…how we really are friends."

The rarest of smiles was formed and my cheeks felt much warmer. I wanted to hit myself. These signs would have made it obvious to any onlooker; Me having a crush on Yukinoshita was the most obvious conclusion anyone would make, when in reality it was simply a pretty girl saying something meaningful to me.

But if she misunderstands and assumes that I have a crush on her, then I'd be no better than all the hopeless loons who've asked her out. And just like them, she'd reject me just as harshly.

"…I don't think I've ever thanked you for the job." Her serene look transformed, her eyes widening and head tilting ever so slightly. Her eyelashes suddenly looked longer.

"Oh? What brought this on?"

"It's not as annoying as I expected. Which isn't much, to be fair. But it's definitely tolerable and at the very least worth it for the money. So, thanks. Things have been easier on me; Komachi's been much happier too." And that was why it was worth it. Her lit up face every time she received her allowance was enough to revitalize my spirit which had almost drowned in the river Styx after work.

"I-I see. Well, you're welcome." I regretted those words of gratitude as it only made it more difficult to breathe. Or perhaps the air became thicker. Or both. But what made this sign of gratitude different than the other one? "In that case…would you mind if I played a song?"

My head snapped upwards, my mouth gaping open. "A-a song?"

A subtle but cute nod. "I've played a lot of songs…but never wrote a song before. I wonder if you'd like to hear the draft I've written?"

"Sure." I wasn't sure why she suddenly wanted to play a song. Especially when we have a lot more homework to get through. Or rather, I have a lot more homework to finish. But it was rare for Yukinoshita to ask for something like this, and I wasn't going to refuse her. "I'm surprised you're even allowed to play in this place."

"It's not like I'm using an amp."

If she was, and I was her neighbour, you bet I'd complain.

* * *

"Oniichan! Can I get that? Please?"

"Why are you asking me? You have money." When I squinted, a sigh escaped my lips. She was staring at an extremely over-the-top overpriced glittering phone strap. How do you get more pathetic than that? "Twenty-five hundred yen for some Pan-san phone strap? It doesn't even look legit."

"Huh? What do you mean?" Without caring for the annoyed glance of the cashier, I took the strap off the shelf it was on and held it up to Komachi's face.

"Look at its left eye." When she blinked but expression unchanging, I pushed it even closer towards her face.

"Looks normal to me."

I sighed, disappointed with my sister. She's a Pan-san fan, I think, and she couldn't see something so obvious to someone like me? "His left eye looks normal. That's the problem. The black dot around it is supposed to be star-shaped."

Komachi blinked, clearly digesting the info (that she should have known) before grabbing the charm out of my hand. "Oh! And the scarf isn't green, right?"

"What?" It was true, the scarf was green. Pan-san's scarf was yellow, like the bees of summer that always pester our mother's garden. Though she always paid them no mind and they paid her no mind. Komachi too. Our pops on the other hand complained about them buzzing in his ear constantly. As a result, I avoided the garden in fear of something worse than buzzing. "Huh…you might not be a lost cause after all."

"That was seriously low in Komachi points."

Her low tone and quiet grumble made me raise a brow. "Huh? I thought it was quite high."

"I think you might be the lost cause, Oniichan."

My brows readjusted to a furrow as she placed the charm back on the shelf. "That's really low in Hachiman points…"

"…It's low in Hachiman points but high in Komachi points?"

That dead stare was scarily familiar, but I couldn't place where. "What? Of course not. It's all on the phrasing."

"Hey, if it isn't Hikigaya-kun!" I think my sudden gulp was more vocal than I hoped, because Komachi gave me a strange stare before turning to the caller. "Fancy seeing you here."

Rigidly, I turned to meet the sun itself, Hayama. "Y-yo."

I hoped my curt nod would be enough to drive him away, since rudeness didn't work last time, but unfortunately, he didn't buzz off. "And who might this be?"

I growled and attempted to place a foot in front of Komachi, but she was too fast and jumped forward. "I'm Komachi! Oniichan's sister! It's nice to meet you!"

Oi, you shouldn't be so redundant when you talk; it's kind of embarrassing. "Hayama Hayato. Hikigaya-kun's little sister? You're quite pleasant." Why do you sound so surprised while simultaneously giving a compliment?

"What are you doing here?" I was sharp and to the point. Less time with Hayama, the better sleep I'll have tonight.

Irritatingly, he rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Ah, my friends wanted to hang out. Pick some outfits, get a guy's opinion, you know."

No, I don't know. Thanks for reminding me. Komachi looked between us, before a sparkle flew by and entered her eyes. "Oniichan, is he the friend you mentioned?"

"No." I'd be damned if this guy and I ever became even associated. I gave Komachi a desperate look. If anyone was to understand me, it should have been Komachi. Did she really think I'd become friends with _him_?

Her smile didn't diminish. "I thought so. I mean, you and him? No way! You're too gloomy to hang out with him!"

Komachi, have you fallen into his trap? My glare returned full force and even Hayama stepped backwards, now his smile became awkward. "I only know of Hikigaya-kun through his friend."

"Which friend?" Komachi, that was an impressive attempt at a leading question. Unfortunately for you, everyone and their dog knows how many friends I have.

Hayama seemed to realize Komachi's desire for an answer and turned with a questioning glance. I myself turned to avoid his glance and bit my lip. "Well, maybe acquaintance is the proper term? Anyways, that doesn't matter now. Would you two care to join us? We were going to see a movie."

My glare which should have lessened, intensified. He didn't inform Komachi about Yukinoshita, and now I was in his debt. In that case, it was in my best interest to repay that debt by declining. "We really ought to be going…"

"We'd love to! Right oniichan?"

"No, we really should be going…" Komachi, you don't understand. Hayama said he was with friends. And while he might be nice on the outside, his friends…

"Huh?! Hayato! What's this about?!" The click of her heels overshadowed her obnoxious tone. With blonde locks reaching just past her shoulders, appeared a little rattle snake.

"Yumiko, I want you to meet my friends, Hikigaya-kun and Komachi." My hands dug into my pockets, gripping onto the inside pocket. To just casually say my little sister's given name…He has some nerves. To say we were friends, he has some serious balls.

"O-oh. Uh, I'm Miura Yumiko." She nodded politely to Komachi who beamed in response. Miura seemed to be taken aback and returned to giving Hayama her attention. Wait, what about me?

"I thought this was going to be just the two of us, Hayato!" The way she complained was not dissimilar to the way an elementary student complained.

"But Hina's with us as well." Hayama, you're not one of those dense protagonists, are you? Wait, that's also a girl name…There is no way I'm going along with this. My self-confidence would hit a whole new level of low.

"So, you're single, Miura-san?" My sister's bluntness and forwardness had managed to startle the bold woman, making her raise a brow while donning a slight blush.

"That's quite the bold assumption! But, well, for now!" Don't think I didn't notice you sneaking Hayama glance.

And I think he also noticed.

"Oniichan, we should definitely join them!"

Stop. "No. Didn't you just hear what Miura-san said?" Was my sister denser than a typical dense protagonist? At least she's a cute dense protagonist. I could very well see Komachi the protagonist of her own series. As long as she friend zones every boy who even attempts to make an advance on her. Then the villain would come along and kill each and every one of them.

"Yeah, and they have company!"

"I wouldn't mind, Hikigaya-kun."

Except I would. And can you _not_ sound like you _actually_ want me to go? You're a better liar than me… "I really don't want to go."

"Neither do I…" I ignored Miura-san's grumble, even though it helped my case.

"Oh, but I guess you two were out doing errands. We shouldn't keep you." No, we weren't doing errands. And no, you shouldn't keep us.

I was already walking in the opposite direction. Looking over my shoulder, I jerked my head in front of me. "Come on Komachi. Let these guys enjoy their date. We have…to go get some more fertilizer for the garden." I had to wrack my mind around something that could give me an excuse to get out of here. I recalled out mother complaining and then my lightbulb turned on. I never thought our mother's annoying rants would come back to save me.

"But-"

"Yumiko? What's taking so long?"A reserved voice spoke up, and behind Yumiko approached a shorter girl with short brown hair. Her spectacles didn't hide her curious eyes, wide but not in surprise. They just seem to be perpetually wide.

"Nothing~" Miura-san sang, before gripping Hayama's arm. "Come on Hayato!"

With the same refreshing smile, Hayama freed his arm and nodded. Before turning to leave, he gave me a wave. "See you, Hikigaya-kun! Komachi!"

"Byebye!" Komachi waved back and his returning smile glittered. To my surprise, my little sister wasn't blushing or anything. I knew she was tougher than I previously thought!

The new girl stared at me for a second before smiling gently and following the two from a distance. Although, much to my surprise, Miura-san actually beckoned her to catch up and from what I could tell involve her in whatever conversation riajuu's have.

The fact she smiled at me instead of recoiling in disgust at the sight of my narrowed orbs caught me off guard. I wasn't sure what to expect regarding Hayama and the group he commands, but it was both as I expected and completely unexpected.

"Was she the friend?"

"Hm? Which one?"

"The one that didn't insult your rotten eyes."

Not you too... I slumped forward and shook my head, defeated. "No, never seen her before in my life."

"Reaaally?" Komachi had slipped in front of me, pushing her face towards mine. I wasn't flustered or anything. She was my little sister after all. I only straightened my back and nodded.

"Yeah."

Komachi jumped back. "Hm, okay! Well, I'll find out who this friend of yours is soon, oniichan! And they better be real!

"They are, I promise."

"And you won't break it this time?"

I was affronted by the accusation. "Since when have I broken a promise to you?"

She placed her hands on her hips and bent forward slightly. "Siiince you promised to give Komachi a raise today!"

I created a mental calendar in my brain, and it happened to look similar to the one in Yukinoshita's kitchen, with a Pan-san in the corner and all. "That was last week! Which I did keep!"

Her head tilted and her expression became concerned. Which made me concerned. For myself. "Is your memory getting bad, oniichan? Papa can prove it!"

...'Papa' can prove anything you say.

* * *

"I heard you met with Hayama-kun."

I almost spat out my MAX. What was she doing, bringing that up out of nowhere while we stood beneath the bus shelter. I glanced around before realizing no one actually heard Yukinoshita speak. Even though it was pouring, no one decided to try and squeeze under the bus stop. Yukinoshita must be the reason. I hunched over so my height matched hers and she'd hear my whispers clearly. "Where'd you hear that from?"

"Was it a secret?"

"It wasn't worth mentioning. Don't tell me Hayama told you himself." I wondered what else he told her?

"He wouldn't. Nee-san did."

"I see…" I didn't. "How did she find out?" Was she the stalker I worried about some time ago?

"What did you do?"

Don't ignore my questions! "Nothing."

"You tried to invade their date?"

"N-no! They invited me!" I may have said that a bit louder than I should have, so I hunched even further, directing my gaze to the ground. "Why bring this up now?"

"I have something to take care of. You should head straight home."

"Huh? What's up?"

"Nothing you need to worry about." I turned my head slightly to try and get a glimpse of her face. She was staring directly ahead of her, her expression frozen in a cold expression. It was unmoving and nothing like I had ever seen before. Was this the persona she had in public?

"…Okay." If she had stuff to handle, then I wouldn't burden her. Even if my homework included math.

When the bus arrived, Yukinoshita stepped out of the shelter first, and no one moved an inch until she was on the bus.

I went on last.

She had managed to grab a lone seat, the best seat. There was one free right behind her, so I took it. It was odd, since there were some students still standing, but she must have some aura that makes them give her personal space. How nice.

That wasn't it. The moment I took my seat my breath hitched. She was sitting up straight, and her growing black hair shimmered with raindrops. In those five seconds from exiting the bus shelter and boarding the bus her hair became wet. They fell upon her shoulders in disarray and managed to hide any semblance of skin.

I took a breath and nearly choked, having inhaled the scent of rain mixed with whatever scent Yukinoshita bore. I quickly raised my can of MAX coffee to my lips, making sure to taste as much as possible to drown her scent.

Or maybe that was a bad idea. As soon as my lips only felt a small drop, her scent rushed through my nostrils again. I had to distract myself, so I pulled out my phone.

Of course, my contacts were fairly limited. Very limited. "What do you have to take care of?" I decided to text Yukinoshita. The girl literally in front of me.

Her head tilted down slightly, her hair still covering her pale neck. Quickly, my phone buzzed. I was grateful I didn't forget to turn off my notification tone, because the bus was dead silent. It wasn't unusual on a rainy day. "Restocking on my groceries."

"Today?" I replied instinctively before realizing anyone who was standing could be looking down and reading my private conversation. Sometimes you can't help but glance by accident, but some people get drawn and stare at your phone as if it's the first smartphone they have ever seen.

"Yes. I'm aware it's raining, but there's a grocery store right next to my apartment."

Oh right, Lincos. Your average grocery store with average sales. Well in that case, I have no obligation to help her since, like she said, it was right next to her apartment building. And for some reason she preferred doing groceries alone, claiming I would infect them or something. Maybe it was time I got the truth? "Why can't I go with you?"

I heard her release an annoyed sigh in front of me but I kept my head down. I couldn't let anyone know that her sigh was related to me. I pretended to keep typing. "I'll tell you later."

How does one define later? We assume later means sometime during the same day, but it really means sometime after the present moment. "Later as in…?"

"Later."

That didn't help. We were at the station. I watched her stood up and leave the bus. I waited for a few others to do the same before I followed suit. She would catch a different bus than me here at this terminal. When no other student was around, I quickly approached her. "Will you tell me the truth? Or is it really because of me?"

She looked irritated, and I didn't blame her. I was being needlessly persistent. She even said later, meaning that eventually she would tell me. Eventually she released a more tired sigh than the one on the bus. "I…have been gauging you."

My mouth hung open, confusion etched across my face. I had no idea what that meant. "Can you…elaborate?" Did I want her too?

"What you liked…didn't like. I've made you a lot of different food over the last few months. I wanted to see what you truly liked."

She had turned away, preventing me from seeing her face. My left hand had grasped my keys, making a small jingle that was drowned by the rain's beat. I coughed into my fist, before involuntarily coughing again. Yukinoshita turned to face me, this time concern plastered across her face. I raised my hand to stop her from speaking. "I like anything that doesn't have tomatoes."

Yukinoshita's concern warped into a blank stare. "How childish."

I raised my hands in defense, accidentally grasping my keys. "It's true. They're the devil spawn I tell you!" Before she could continue, I stuffed my hands back into my pockets and tilted my head, trying to mimic her and Komachi. "But why didn't you just ask?"

A red bus passed by. That was the only explanation for the brief red that reflected off her face. "I simply wanted to surprise you, I suppose."

"Ingredients don't tell me what you're making, you know."

She glared at me, as if my truth wasn't valid. "I'm very much aware. I don't want to hear that from someone who can't make a single cup of delectable coffee."

"Hey! I've improved!" Probably. "Well, still, you should have asked me. You had me worried. I thought I really _was_ infectious for a while."

"I suppose that was a harsh thing to say. I apologize." She was now gripping her arm, clearly upset with herself. It was rare to see Yukinoshita so defeated. Her brows were raised while her eyes were down. Her mouth was straight, just like the bus that just drove by.

…The bus that was mine.

"Wasn't that your bus?"

I pulled back my arm that was outstretched, reaching helplessly for the bus. I sighed heavily and looked up to the heavens, only to meet water which crashed into my eyes. Yukinoshita looked confused, as if wondering just what I was doing. And to be honest, so was I.

I put a hand to the back of my head, running it through my wet hair. "Do you need help with the groceries?"

I watched her mouth curve upwards while her eyes rolled in amusement. "I suppose your opinion might be helpful."

If you were making it for me, then my opinion was more than just 'helpful'.

When the bus arrived, she stepped on and I immediately after. Instead of taking one of the lone seats, she took a window seat.

This time, I didn't hesitate to sit next to her.

* * *

Happiness is different for everyone. Happiness itself is subjective. Some would say having lots of money would make them happy, while others would claim it's the life you live. If there's truly a right or wrong answer, then humanity had yet to discover it.

When celebrating a holiday revolving around happiness, there will always be someone ready to cause ruin. Their mere presence can cause dissatisfaction, which is why on this fateful day I am lying on the couch with my PSP pressed on my face.

I called it a holiday, but the true happiness of a holiday for students is the fact we get the day off. We didn't get the day off. It's simply a time of spreading cheer than a proper celebration. Everyone's significantly happier this day, except for the loners who are reminded they have no one to share their happiness with. My most recent gym partner had attempted to force me to join him at the arcade on this joyous day, but I would not give him the time of day. Not when it was a Friday afternoon.

I had to use my improved stealth techniques to avoid him. I was careful not to underestimate him, as a loner was always able to pick out other loners. It may have gotten me some strange, disgusted looks but it was worth it.

I was also relieved when Komachi returned home on schedule and without a boy accompanying her. I was also surprised no one stalked her. Did they think she wasn't cute enough? Or did they know they had no chance?

Probably the latter. Everyone knows how cute Komachi is.

"No, it's 'cause papa would kill them and embarrass me."

"Even if they somehow survived, it would be for a moment." I'd make sure to finish the job, find a place to hide the body, create a fake crime scene, prepare a fake witness, and a fake defendant. Or maybe stage it to be a suicide. Oh, and get a demon prosecutor on the case.

"How annoying…"

The doorbell rang, and my torso rose quickly. "Komachi, don't answer it."

"Huh? Why?" To her credit, she looked genuinely confused. I had thought it was a boy who followed her home. But she's not smart enough to fake expressions.

"…Fine, answer it. But if it's one of your fanboys, I'll-" She had already begun to open the door, not bothering to listen to my declaration of protecting Komachi innocence.

"Hello. I am Yukinoshita Yukino."

"U-uh…wow…so pretty…I mean, what can I do for you Yukinoshita-san?"

…

…

…

Why was she here? Where do I hide? What is going on?!

"Komachi-san, I'm here to say Merry Christmas. To you, and your brother."

...

"U-uh…just one second!" In a literal second, she turned to face me and I returned her stare, dumbfounded. "Oniichan. Komachi will never forgive you for hiding such a beautiful girlfriend!"

This scenario was unprecedented in my loner life. Never before has a girl visited my house. One that I actually knew, no less. "We're not dating…" was the only thing I managed to choke out, but Komachi was already facing Yukinoshita.

"Come in Yukinoshita-san!"

I saw her pleasant smile with a rosy tint on her cheeks. It was quite cold when I biked home, and that was about two hours ago, so coming inside must have been heaven for her. "Thank you, Komachi-san." She walked inside before turning back to the young girl. "Can you take this off my hands?"

"Yep! Komachi's on it!" What was in Yukinoshita's hands was a white box that anyone could recognize as a box that contained cake. Komachi took the box from her hand, also recognizing what it was, and skipped to the kitchen. She better not drop it.

I took this opportunity to approach Yukinoshita while she was removing her shoes. "What are you _doing_?"

Without looking up at me, she explained. "I thought it was fine to come over on Christmas?"

"Who said that? You told me you had to finish something important today!"

"Yukinoshita-san!" Komachi's voice echoed from the kitchen. "Did you make this yourself? It's so good!"

Komachi, please don't tell me you already had a piece? And Yukinoshita, please get rid of that triumphant smile on your face. "I still don't understand what you were thinking."

"I wanted to spend Christmas with you." She said it so matter-of-factly that I wasn't even embarrassed. Was I surrounded by dense protagonists?

Or was _I_ the dense protagonist?

"Well, Komachi will appreciate the company. Our parents won't be back 'till late." I sighed in defeat. At least Komachi would stop pestering me regarding my 'friend'.

"It's only fair. You met my sister after all."

"Not by free will." No, that woman took your free will for herself. Any encounter with her would never be by my choice. "Not to mention Komachi is far more pleasant than your sister."

"I must admit, I was curious. Your sister sounded like your polar opposite by your descriptions. How could she manage to live with you?"

"It's Christmas, spare the rudeness." She huffed but didn't say anything further. Using the cheery atmosphere to get out of being insulted…Why couldn't it be Christmas every day?

As soon as Yukinoshita stepped into the kitchen, Komachi hopped down from the counter she was sitting on before giving Yukinoshita a bow. "I'm Hikigaya Komachi! Thank you for the cake and taking care of oniichan."

Yukinoshita finally showed some emotion and became visible flustered. "It's not a problem…It's nice to meet you Komachi-san. Your brother has told me a lot about you."

Yes, and they were all praises, so don't you worry. I nodded to myself filled with pride. "Yukinoshita-san, how long have you known my brother?"

"Komachi, it's Christmas, not twenty questions."

"That's a terrible comparison."

My glare lasted a second before I sighed again. "Though I guess if we keep holding this off, it's only going to look worse…"

"Worse? You've given Komachi more hope than ever before!" Komachi then bowed again to Yukinoshita. "Thank you for the cake! It was delicious!"

"Don't tell me you already ate it all?" My accusatory glare was met by her affronted glare.

"No! I just had a small piece!" I peered into the box, and sure enough Komachi only had a small piece. Cut cleanly, thankfully. I was worried she just stuffed her face in the cake.

I turned to Yukinoshita. "Seriously, why did you decide to come now?"

"I already told you, didn't I?" You told me a half-truth. I'm not going to fully believe that.

"Who cares oniichan? Yukinoshita-san's here and I won't be stuck with you for a Christmas and hopefully many Christmas' to come!" I would have felt offended if it weren't for the fact Komachi's hopeful expression towards Yukinoshita was making the ice queen squirm. I leaned back in amusement, watching two adorable girls interact.

"Y-yes. If you'll have me that is."

"Of course, Komachi would have you Yukinoshita-san!"

"Huh, you're more of a pushover than I thought." I looked away immediately in hopes of avoiding her glare and hiding my smirk, but I still felt it burning holes in the back of my head. Well, I didn't blame her. Rejecting Komachi was more difficult than passing a science midterm.

* * *

"You're really smart Yukinoshita-san!"

I could imagine Yukinoshita's hand palmed against her forehead. Yeah, Komachi isn't the brightest in the academic field. "I'm more concerned about your school's education system."

"Thank you for helping me!" Komachi bowed again, something she rarely did. Normally people bowed to her instead. I wonder if Yukinoshita intimidated Komachi? I wouldn't blame Komachi.

"You really like helping others." I placed a cup of coffee in front of the two girls. While Yukinoshita was helping Komachi with her homework, I was left to my own devices.

Yukinoshita was staring long and hard at the dark beverage. She was clearly judging it. Although Komachi didn't understand that. "Is something wrong Yukinoshita-san? Oh, you haven't had oniichan's coffee, right? It's really good! Definitely better than a month ago…"

You really didn't need to say that last part, even if it's true. "A month ago… Then he hadn't improved despite the several months of practice…" Okay, stop, the past doesn't matter anymore. Just drink the sacred beverage! "And Hikigaya-kun, helping others improve is the definite way to improve society."

I hummed, wondering if that was true. It would lead to a society where people actually achieved their goals through proper means. Maybe even less crime. But to actually make everyone in the world change to follow that philosophy was impossible. Changing who you are for any particular reason is admitting the person you are isn't desired by anyone else. But there is always someone who desires you: yourself. If you are happy with yourself, then there's no reason to change.

But then again, this is Yukinoshita. I won't overestimate her abilities and take back what I said about it being impossible, but she could definitely change _something._ I just don't know what.

"Yukinoshita-san is so inspiring!" Komachi stared at Yukinoshita with admiration I had no recollection of seeing before.

"Yeah, she is." I couldn't help myself, because it was true. It was hard not to admire the woman when all she did was her best. I'd never follow her, but it was a fact that my sense of fulfillment despite my stance in society was because of her.

It made me wonder however…

"Yukinoshita-san, can you teach me the recipe for that cake! I want to surprise our parents!"

Over the many, many years….

"I don't mind. Do you have the necessary kitchen utensils?"

After almost a year of physically interacting with her…

"Yep! Kāsan makes a cake for my birthday every year!"

Have I…

"Then we can begin. Do you have a spare apron I could use?"

Helped her, even once?

"Here's oniichan's!"

Or have I been…

"U-uh, what about your mother?"

Just a burden?

"Oniichan, stop daydreaming and help us!"

* * *

 **Okay. Lots, lots, looooots of stuff in this AN. But I'll get out the most important thing first. Whether you want to read the rest, that's up to you.**

 **10k+ words + 1200 word authors note!**

 **Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, even though there wasn't much in terms of events. Let me know what you thought! Where I could improve, what I did wrong, right, the usual! It means a lot to know you guys are enjoying this story and if I could improve the story, then I'm all for it!**

 **Good place to end it, I think. So, either next chapter will be the final parts of first year or just jump to second year with nothing of note happening between now and then (probably the latter honestly. And I'm sure you guys want to get into canon territory. Just appreciate the moment for now).**

 **Okay.**

 **So, first off...Time to explain some things that I just glossed over I guess?**

 **\- Hikigaya's student rep position in middle school**

 **In his second year of middle school Hikigaya was assigned the role of class rep by his fellow male peers.**

 **This was in the light novel. This was when the female representative volunteered herself afterwards and frequently spoke to Hikigaya, even giving him the initial of her crush and Hikigaya assuming it was him. So, if anyone thinks I made that up, nope! (It's where the nickname Narugaya came from)**

 **(Literally in Volume 1/Episode 1)**

 **I know some people don't trust wikis and I probably should have done some more research, but it seemed to corroborate with my (admittedly faulty) memory so I thought it was good.**

 **Next up, something a little fun.**

 **Out of curiosity,** **what tropes/cliches/plot devices/threads do you all dislike in the fandom** **? When a few people mentioned they really didn't want the amnesia trope last chapter, it got me curious. Just a little fun thing I thought I'd ask since I'm not really that well-versed in the Oregairu fandom. While we're at it, why not add** **what tropes/cliches/plot devices/threads you** ** _do_** **like?**

 **Some fun facts about this chapter:**

 **Yukinoshita was going to be hit by a car at the end of the chapter. Just as quickly as I thought of it, I got rid of it. So… 5 seconds.**

 **\- Yukinoshita I feel could only be hit by a car by a hit-and-run which would create a plot that would get out of hand**

 **\- Yukinoshita would do the sensible thing and jump and curl up to lessen the damage. Except I don't know anything regarding medical treatment so it'd be really...wrong for me to try and make something serious out of it without any foreknowledge.**

 **\- There would be no way for her to stay in Sobu after that (I doubt her parents would have liked that).**

 **\- Note: she wouldn't have died.**

 **\- Note: since I'm saying this here, that means it's not going to happen in the future...probably. So, rest easy.**

 **Yeah it was just one of those blitz thoughts like "You know what might be interesting? ...No, wait, hold on. Nope." But hey, someone could make a one-shot/story based on it!.**

 **I was tempted to go and get a part-time job at Starbucks to learn the ins and out of being a barista...obviously I didn't give into temptation haha. So, I just went with the bare minimum. Also, Cafe Colorado is a real cafe in Chiba right near Yukinoshita's apartment. I used the pictures of the place as a guide. Pretty much everywhere I've mentioned is a real place (The guitar store(s) and the mall).**

 **This is a deleted, short bit of a certain phone call:**

"Hello?"

"Hello, I'm calling for Hikigaya Hachiman?" A pleasant female voice replied over the phone speaker, making me raise a brow and immediately raise my defense.

"...That might be me, who-"

"Great! This is Café Colorado, Makuhari Baytown! We would like to thank you for applying for the position of barista and would like to coordinate a time for your interview!"

...What.

 **Also, a lot of you has been calling this story 'one of the best oregairu fics' and I can't help but feel like you're giving me a bit too much credit? Haha I really, really appreciate it but what this story boils down to is a bunch of snippets in a timeline (well, sort of). I don't know, I just don't feel like I really deserve that kind of intense praise, but I won't question your opinions anymore.**

 **I've went through this chapter four times and I'll probably go through it some more and keep revising it.**

 **Aaaaanyways, again thank you so much for reading this chapter!**

 **EDIT - 07.07.18**

 **\- Author's Note edit**

 **EDIT - 15.07.18**

 **\- Removed Yuigahama from the encounter with Hayama and Miura**

 **EDIT- 17.07.18**

 **\- Removed a leftover line from the Yuigahama scene. Thanks _Guest_!**


	5. Chapter 5

Mistakes were inevitable. They were persistent and constant. Over and over they breached the walls we built. The walls, they were supposed to protect us from them, to make sure we never made the same mistakes again. Humans overestimate themselves and it is that overconfidence that invites mistakes. To lower your guard for any reason is folly. Yet we do not learn, and we continue to invite disaster.

After all, I had no excuse. This should have been an obvious confrontation. The woman in front of me donned the smile of a hyena. If it wasn't for that smile, I was certain my eyes would have been drawn to other places that were not the white plates of snow on the ground.

Stunned into silence, I waited as I stared into her dark ornate eyes. I couldn't see myself in them and gulped before blinking.

Suddenly, she let out a laugh. "Ha! I win!"

"…Huh?"

She raised a finger the moment I finished and tapped my nose. "Our staring contest!"

I stepped back, my nose wriggling. It was only for an instant, but the soft touch lingered. "In that case, congrats."

Staring contests were a waste of time. And not because I didn't have friends to do them with! Or that I never won them! I had Komachi after all. They relied on your eyes' physical strength with little to no satisfaction when claiming victory. All they do is invite pointless competition.

"I'll be going now…"

"Aw, Hikigaya-kun! Join me for a quick drink?"

"Too young." I attempted to wrestle my arm away from her, but I ended up accidentally brushing her notable assets. My face began to warm up despite the cold air. I immediately stopped moving and attempted to glare at her, but her bright smile made it difficult. I could only give her a look of mild annoyance. In response, she smirked.

"Ah, so am I of course! But perhaps in a few years, hm?" If this woman becomes drunk, I wonder just how screwed the world would be? I had a nagging feeling that she's already had more than a few sips, even for her age.

"Don't wait for me. I've got four years to go."

"Oh, I won't wait for you. But I'll definitely be there the moment you turn of age…" She let the sentence linger, tilting her head for emphasis. She was attempting to draw information out of me. My birthdate in particular. At this point, was there a reason to hide anything? She could probably find out my address whenever she wanted.

"Well, I wouldn't expect much from me." I doubt I'd lose all sense of self or anything of the sort. If I had to take a measured guess, I'd say I'd be slightly more talkative…actually how about I never get drunk. "Never mind, I'm not drinking."

"That's what all the first years say!" And that's what all the college kids say. Her hair swayed when her head shook in amusement. I noticed it was significantly longer since the last time I saw her, and her tips were dyed a different shade of purple.

She suddenly raised a finger and began to play with her hair. She was curling it repeatedly with that one finger, like a middle schooler asking their crush what they think of their outfit. "I was thinking about cutting my hair. What do you think, Hikigaya-kun?"

I realized I wasn't being nearly as subtle as I hoped, and looked away, my eyes darting between her hair and the snow. "Uh…"

"I know, I'll cut it! Don't you want to see Yukino-chan with short hair?" I tried imagining Yukinoshita with shoulder-length hair.

I couldn't see it. For the years we've known each other, long hair was a trait Yukinoshita had always wore.

"I don't know about that…" I really didn't know. There was no way of knowing how Yukinoshita could look with short hair. Yet looking at the woman in front of me, and even despite the many differences that separated the sisters, there was enough similarities to group them together. Their beauty being the foremost.

"Hm, why don't you tell Yukino-chan your preference? Every boy has a preference, right?" She elbowed me, but nowhere near as hard as I expected. It was light and soft. Playful enough for me to lower my guard.

"I don't see how my opinion matters."

Her hand flew in front of her mouth, her purple eyes widened ever so slightly. Yet I could see her lip curve behind her hand. "I guess not! But I'm sure she could use a helpful opinion!"

"I'm anything but helpful." I couldn't help it. It escaped my lips before I even thought it. I pulled up a smirk, attempting to make it seem like a joke I made.

Her pause, even though it was only for a nanosecond, was unsettling. Then she broke out a smile and laughed out loud. "Yeah! You definitely don't look helpful!"

"Hey..." That was uncalled for, but before I could say more, her finger reached my lips.

"But it's always the unhelpful ones who save the day. Never judge a book by its cover, hm?" Her voice had gotten lower as she finished the sentence, her cheery smile still on stuck on her face and her finger still in place. She was within breathing distance and I couldn't deny the implications any passerby would have.

"Well, saving the day is a bit much for me. Why would I want to be one of those unrealistic superheroes?" I had to step back and attempt to regain composure. Unfortunately, my heart was beating too fast to make that easy.

"Superhero…?" Her pink lips opened slightly, her teeth a blinding white revealed. A predator was staring at its prey. Suddenly she laughed. It was a single laugh. But it was one of mockery. "Superheroes are needed, you know? They give people hope!"

I wasn't sure why she was entertaining my exaggerations, and I sure as hell didn't want to entertain her theatrics. "…Just don't lump me in with them."

"Hm, then are you the sidekick?"

"…You know, that doesn't sound as degrading as I thought." The sidekicks get good character development and are sometimes favoured more than the heroes themselves. Of course, they are required to put in more effort and have more unnecessary drama. "I take that back, screw sidekicks."

"That was fast." Her expression was pure shock, before having another laughing fit. "Then maybe the neutral party?"

"…Yeah, that sounds more accurate." I nodded, feeling satisfied. The neutral party rarely gets involved after all.

"So, you'd be able to declare judgement between, say, Yukino-chan and me without any bias?" Her eyes twinkled, and my heart jumped. My mouth was open but no words escaped. I could lie and she wouldn't be any the wiser. Yet I didn't lie or tell the truth. Nothing. "Just kidding~ I could never make you choose between Yukino-chan and me, Hikigaya-kun!"

She says that as if it was a difficult choice to begin with. There will always be a bias, no matter who you are. Facts become irrelevant and life boils down to opinions. "You should know that I'm much more suited in reality than fiction."

"I dunno, you seem like someone out of a manga to me!" Don't compare me to one of those selfless protagonists…I enjoy reading those mangas _because_ they're fiction. Whether they're realistic or not is for another debate. She stepped passed me before looking over her shoulder. "Walk with me?"

It wasn't demanding or pressuring as you'd expect from the scary woman. It sounded like a genuine request and I couldn't help but oblige, walking to meet her side but making sure there was ample space in between us. I used the plastic bag I was carrying to assist.

"…Where are you going?" For the first time, I made the attempt to make small talk with a stranger. Because that's what she was to me. Someone I didn't know and didn't want to know.

"The station. I have to get Yukino-chan and take her home. I'm sure Yukino-chan's mentioned our annual Christmas dinner?"

I didn't answer immediately. Yukinoshita said she wanted to spend Christmas with me yesterday, which was Christmas Eve. To say that, despite this family dinner, meant only one thing. "Uh, I thought it was a New Year's dinner?"

"Well there's that, but that's usually between the families. The Christmas dinner is between just our family. She's been busy every Christmas so she never managed to make it but this year's different." Her wistful smile matched the look in her eyes. "Both mother and father are excited. I can't say I've seen them this excited in a long time."

It was a surprise. My face gave away my surprise and she laughed when she noticed. There was no way for me to hide my surprise. "…Um, do you know why your parents approved of her living on her own?"

I erased whatever melancholy expression she was wearing and her smile grew into a mocking, cold one that froze me to the bone. "Why, Hikigaya-kun! I thought you of all people would know the answer!"

"…Right, sorry. Never mind." I couldn't explain why her voice, as pleasant sounding as it was, carried a tone of hostility. I wonder if she had to pay some price for Yukinoshita's independence?

Her expression softened and she gently patted my back. "As I was saying, it's going to be great having Yukino-chan back. Do you know the purpose for the New Year's dinner?"

"…To celebrate the New Year?" I half-asked, half-questioned after not answering immediately. It was clear she wasn't going to say anything until I answered.

Her sigh was exaggerated, clearly amused. "Why Hikigaya-kun! I'm disappointed in you! Think!"

The way she said it…it was encouraging enough to make even the laziest of people put their brains to work. Her voice was sweet and playful. To the untrained ears it would have sounded completely pleasant. But the forcefulness was there. The disappointment was there. "Uh, let's see…to better relations with other families?"

"Ooh! Is that you using your deductive skills?" When she clapped her hands in an impressed manner, I gave her a heavy glare. Pity and being patronized were insults of the highest caliber. She giggled in response, tilting her head apologetically. "Maybe you aren't as close to Yukino-chan as I thought. It's also to celebrate her birthday!"

"What?" I blurted, once again caught off guard.

I had completely forgotten Yukinoshita's birthday. The beginning of the year, right after the celebrations. Where your Christmas and Birthday gifts are lumped together and you could only wonder just how unfair life was that you were born at such an unfortunate time of year.

This year had been so busy that I completely forgot about it, and I could only feel slightly guilty. After all, she managed to remember mine.

However, the woman in front of me took my surprise as meaning something else. "You didn't know? January third!" She emphasized every syllable of the date, drawling the end of the third, though I didn't know why. Suddenly her wistful gaze returned. "Grouping her birthday with the New Year's dinner is a good way to show our love for her, you know?"

My eyes narrowed but glancing at her wistful expression I relaxed slightly. "How so? It seems pretty rude if anything. It's as if her birthday is something to just get over with, so might as well do both her birthday and the dinner at once."

Birthdays were a day of showing an individual appreciating for their existence. I won't deny that celebrating my birthday with my family is usually a good time. Although it sucks when they don't remember. Seriously, it's the easiest day for anyone to remember. It's also one of the few times pops isn't constantly making sure I'm not bothering Komachi.

"A dinner with your family and a friend. That sounds pretty good for a birthday party, doesn't it?"

"I don't know…sounds kind of like a nuisance."

She laughed lightly. "You're the type of person who'd crash a party, aren't you?"

I scoffed, shaking my head. "That's bothersome for both me and anyone involved."

"Then what if you were invited?"

"What?" I eyed her warily and stepped back when I noticed the mischievous glint in her eyes.

"How would you like to join us, Hikigaya-kun? I'm sure Yukino-chan would appreciate it."

I shook my head immediately. Yukinoshita might or might not. I don't know. Her parents would not. "Like I said, a bother. My very existence causes people to be intimidated and never invite me again."

She let out another laugh before immediately releasing a sigh. "Ah, that's too bad. It would have been interesting." For you, maybe. I think I'd die. Figuratively or literally, I wasn't sure. "Thank you for walking me Hikigaya-kun!"

The sudden politeness caught me off guard and I coughed into my fist, my white breath dissipating into the air. "Sure."

In an instant her façade returned and walking away like a formal business woman was Haruno-san.

I felt the cold wind touch my hair, tugging it in a direction. The winter breeze was still warmer than her smile.

* * *

A soft chime echoed, making me pause for a moment. Bells, a simple instrument not unlike a triangle, soft and quiet yet their presence outstanding. The type of metal and size of the bell determined the ferocity of the sound and this one was light and gave off a cheery vibe.

"At least you showed up. Get ready and hurry up! We're busy here!" I resisted the urge to salute and nodded, walking faster than the average employee to the back. I passed by Boss who wore a pleasant smile to the customer she was conversing with. The forceful tone of her voice however made me wary.

And several hours later I understood why. And any cheery, celebratory mood I was in when I entered the building was gone, replaced with exasperation.

With the stars' presence in the sky, I wiped the sweat underneath my chin. I placed the mop against the wall and leaned next to it. I closed my eyes, allowing myself a moments rest.

"Good work today Hikigaya." I cracked open a single eye, like you see the badass supporting characters do. "Christmas day sure is a handful? Those idiots have another thing…"

She didn't chuckle evilly as I expected. Instead, she shook her head making her golden ponytail sway. She sighed, pulling out a chair and plopping herself at a table. Her elbow on the table and palm on cheek, she stared at me emotionless. "Oh, but you're not one of those idiots."

Well, duh. From what I gathered, barely any of the other employees showed up today. Even my co-worker left shortly after I arrived. "Although I'm surprised you of all people showed up. I would have thought you'd use Christmas as an excuse, just like the rest of them."

"No way, not me." Seriously, should I be annoyed to be compared to the rest of those worthless employees or acknowledge that I actually wasn't going to show and it was a last-minute decision? "You should fire them."

She laughed, grabbing a lone menu from the counter to fan herself. Even though the heater was turned off and the winter air had already infested the café. "I wish I could, but I need all the employees I can get." I didn't understand her logic, so I could only assume she actually liked the employees she's hired. Emotions like that hinder progress, evident by today. "At least they were smart enough to not bring their dates here!"

I almost gagged, being reminded of the large quantity of couples that showed themselves in. Dates, double dates…All of them enjoying their youth. I wasn't the only one annoyed, too. There was a crabby businessman who was very vocal about his stance on romance. It was entertaining, to say the very least.

"What are you smirking at over there?" My smirk was wiped off and I looked to the glass window. "Oh, I get it. You got a date of your own, right? That girl from a while back, am I right?"

I shook my head, pushing myself off the wall. I grabbed the mop and began heading to the back. "Dates are for people who have nothing better to do."

"Well, you're definitely not wrong…?" Her confusion was evident in her voice and I smirked triumphantly, extremely glad that she couldn't see it.

My bag all packed, I was set to go when a familiar chime that has begun to torture my ears filled the silent café. "Sorry, café's closed…oh it's you."

I stepped out from the back to see Boss standing in front of the last person I expected. She looked over Boss's shoulder and met my gaze before turning back to Boss. "I apologize, is he finished?"

Boss looked over her shoulder to me but I couldn't meet her eyes. "Um, pretty much. He's got _nothing better to do._ " Spending time with Komachi is nothing?! How dare you! Before she received my glare head on, she turned back to Yukinoshita. "You can have the café all to yourself. Consider it a gift. Make sure you lock up properly."

With a half-assed wave, Boss strode out the store, leaving the two of us alone in a quiet café. "Uh, I thought you were at your family dinner?"

Her thin brows rose and she placed her bag down on a counter. She sat behind the counter at one of the tables for two. I followed, sitting across from her, my legs occasionally hitting the table support. "I made a promise, didn't I?"

Reloading previous conversation…nope. "Not a promise per se…" But she did say she wanted to spend Christmas with me. And I already speculated this would happen. Yet it still caught me off guard. "Never mind. I hope this doesn't get you in trouble with your family."

Her eyes shifted, in an instant her confident demeanor was gone. "I don't want to see them…not until I finish high school."

"Why's that?"

"…" She remained silent. I couldn't confirm if it was because she didn't trust me…or she didn't know herself. Suddenly she coughed, and I stood up immediately.

"I'll go make some tea…"

She stood up in response. "No, it's fine…"

I scratched my head. "You don't trust my skills even now?"

Her head shook lightly. "It's not that, but I'm fine." She coughed again, and when she noticed my amused smile, the tips of her ears tinged red. She sat back down, knowing when to admit defeat. Which isn't often for the proud Yukinoshita. So, I forced my lips down to avoid a triumphant smirk.

Her coughs continued while I was brewing her tea. The tea I was making wasn't anything to help coughs or anything, but warm drinks helped, right? I always gave them to Komachi when she was sick, and she seemed chipper the morning after.

Back in my seat, I watched Yukinoshita, with one hand, raise the teacup to her lips, tilting the white and gold cup ever so slightly. Her eyes snapped open and narrowed upon realizing I was staring.

I quickly raised my own cup and took a large gulp of coffee, the sweetness of my blend striking each and every taste bud. Ah, coffee, you will always be there for me…

She placed her cup down ever so gently back on the small plate that matched the cup. Her head tilted and she smiled. "Adequate."

Yeah, no, it was official. She just had a bias towards tea. Woman, be more open-minded about the truly delicate things in life! Coffee being number two after little sisters!

"You could at least say good, you know?"

Her face adopted a confused expression. "Wouldn't that be lying?"

"No, it'd be appreciating the effort of the common-folk."

Yukinoshita shook her head in mock disappointment. "Hikigaya-kun, could it be you simply can't handle reality?"

How strange. A familiar conversation, many hours ago, plagued my mind just then. The girl in front of me, it wasn't that hard to plaster the older sister's face. In fact, it was far easier than I expected. That was scary.

"You don't get anyone more real than you," I deadpanned, trying to rid my prior thoughts. But seriously, would it kill her to compliment my brewing skills? Knowing Yukinoshita however, it would at the very least kill her pride.

"We all need someone to make sure we're grounded in reality."

My shoulders rolled back and my back straightened. The touch of fiction in reality was always present. If you became exposed to it…you might become worse than the average cosplayer. Or forever be infected with chuunibyou. I used to think it was a phase that passed, until I met this guy in gym class. I never got the chance to experience the delusions chuunibyou gives, thanks to her, but I was always observing people around me and it was clear as day who was infected. And some people were never cured.

In fact, all things considered I was the only normal one by the end of middle school.

But Yukinoshita…she never experienced the otaku culture. She wouldn't even give it a glance. Reality and fiction, both were but a mere stepping stone for her. She'd create something outside of both.

"Have you ever wanted to escape?" I had to ask, because despite my thoughts, there was a nagging feeling. That there was more to what she said. Her voice was heavy and my heart was falling.

"Escape…" She mulled over the word. Her stare was directed to her cup, where I was certain she was staring at herself. What did that word mean to Yukinoshita? Did it mean running away, like a coward? Or a tactical retreat that would allow her to gain the upper hand?

What did that word mean to me?

"Never mind," I quickly pulled the word back. Yukinoshita could never escape. That was probably why the word didn't roll off her tongue as easily as it did for me.

She blinked, her expression blank. To the average human being, such an expression was impossible to decipher. However, to anyone that knows Yukinoshita, it was quite simple to read. By simply gazing into her deep, blue eyes, taking note of how slight her head moves with every breath, the light pink colouring beneath her eyes thanks to this frigid weather, it was really, really simple.

…

…Uh.

"What are you thinking?"

"Urk-" I startled, and suddenly a jolt of pain erupted in my leg. Across from me, Yukinoshita was wearing a similar pained expression. "Uh, my bad…" I had kicked her.

"Yes, you're bad." Her arm was beneath the table, rubbing her leg I was sure. I realized I was in no actual pain, so why did I feel like I was?

"Sorry. This was a bad idea." I was standing up, my head bowed. Ignoring the fact this was her idea, it was clear she trusted me not to screw this up. Whatever 'this' was.

"Wait, where do you think you're going?" There was a rush in her voice, and I wasn't sure if she was upset or panicking.

"Home, I guess." Except I wasn't guessing. Where else would I go at this point?

She was silent and I could have left but I knew she wanted to say something. And as long as she had something to say, I would be patient and wait.

"What about my injury? Do you not plan on taking responsibility?" Yukinoshita stood up, and aside from a slight smudge on her stockings, nothing was noticeable.

"You look fine." She glared, I sighed. "Fine. I feel bad anyways. Another cup?" There was only a drop of black left in the white cup. Adequate was perhaps higher praise than I realized.

She sighed, almost sounding out of relief. She walked over to the counter and sat down before brushing some hair away from her eyes. I stared at her for a moment, and I could see it. Along with the plastered face, cut her hair and it's a spitting image. "Your hair looks nice."

In an instant her eyes were wide and I was already regretting this. "U-um, thank you…"

Regret. "Uh, sorry."

"No, it's fine."

She wasn't looking at me anymore, staring down at the wooden counter. I focused on finishing her tea, attempting to delay my concoction as much as possible. When she coughed, an image flashed in the depths of my mind: an extremely sick, bedridden Komachi.

I quickly finished the drink, reaching over the short glass barrier to place her cup in front of her. She graciously accepted it, pulling the small plate closer to her. "Sorry about before."

"Huh?" She looked back up at me, confused. It took a moment for her understand what I apologized for. "Oh, it's…You've already made up for it."

I…did? I wasn't sure how, but I wouldn't question it. Being in debt to this woman was the last thing I wanted.

"Your birthday is coming up, huh?" I leaned forward, my elbows on the counter. I was very grateful for the glass barrier between us.

"Yes, a Monday to be precise."

"Is there, uh, anything in particular you want?" Gift giving wasn't something I was an expert in. She was the only person I've ever given something to and, well, I think I've exhausted all my knowledge on gift-giving.

She placed down her cup and her hand formed a fist below her chin; her classic thinking pose. It's strange how no matter how many times I see it, the same sense of beauty emanates from her. A beauty that would never become stale.

"I recall a live premiere for the new Pan-san musical coming out the weekend prior."

"Wait, Pan-san's still ongoing?" I thought it was finished, considering the new children books that have overshadowed the old. Although I haven't really been keeping up with that stuff and we've only watched the old Pan-san movies at her place.

She didn't take my comment kindly, giving me an affronted look. "What kind of question is that? Obviously the Pan the Panda series is still ongoing. It is a popular and favoured series that resonates with people of all ages. It's Destinylands' most popular character and the Pan-san merchandise sales are still at the top of charts to this day."

I don't know…I prefer electric rats to pandas. I didn't even see the appeal in his design. His eyes are definitely a turn off. Not that I'd say that to her face. "So, a movie then?"

"If you don't mind…" Her voice softened considerably and she looked at me expectantly. Tell me, how was I supposed to refuse with her eyes glimmering with hope, her hands clasped in front of her, and the beauty on top of it all.

I couldn't resist smiling when her own angelic smile grew. And for the first time, she didn't recoil. Instead, our smiles brightened the dimly lit room, matching the stars outside.

Pure happiness.

No.

I stood up abruptly, and I could hear her let out a startled sound. My hands were shaking, and I couldn't bear to look at her. Was this really okay? It's too familiar. I didn't want this. I wanted things to be the same, so why are things changing?

Give it back.

"Hikigaya-kun?" She spoke my name, slowly and clear. Concern rolling off her tongue.

"This was a bad idea." I wasn't speaking to her.

Her chair scraped the floor. "Hikigaya-kun, what's wrong?" Her voice was at my level and the counter was the only thing separating us.

"This isn't all right." She didn't respond. "You deserve...what I…can't give."

"…Then, what do I deserve?" My mind was clouded and her tone didn't meet my ears. I wasn't sure if she was being sarcastic.

"…Perfection."

"And you're not perfect."

"…"

"Then what do _you_ deserve?"

I left the café.

* * *

The cold air is a mysterious entity that manages to penetrate even the thickest of clothes. It can find the smallest opening and attack, and there was nothing you can do once it struck. I tugged my scarf to cover the base of my neck and stuffed my hands deeper into my pockets.

No matter what I did, the cold air reached me from different angles. I was fairly certain my bones were frozen. It was only a matter of time before my heart froze over.

"Oniichan! I'm cold!" My lovely sister in her adorable green jacket complained. She was rubbing her hands together, creating friction to help repel the chill.

I shrugged. "Not much you can do. You need more experience dealing with the cold."

"I've had the same amount of experience as you…" Suddenly she wrapped her arm around mine and pulled herself close, rubbing her face against my coated arm.

"That's not going to help you warm up…" If anything, it would make her face colder.

"Well just being with you makes me warmer!" She declared without ceasing her actions. I wondered why, for the first time ever, did I not feel warm and fuzzy from my little sister's affection? "Ah, that earned me a lot of Komachi points, didn't it?"

"Yep. A mega ton." She giggled and began pulling me forward up the steps. There were a lot of steps. "Actually, why are we going to a shrine before New Year's?"

"Oniichan, we're already halfway up the steps and you're now asking that?" You know, a sarcastic and deadpan Komachi isn't very cute… "But you'll see!" From blank to a brilliant smile, I think I got a whiplash. She detached her arm from mine and was skipping her way to the top, jumping every two steps.

My hands remained in my pockets, burying themselves even further. When was the last time I visited a shrine? It was only a year, yet that memory escapes me for one from slightly further back. I took the initiative back then. I set Yukinoshita upon a path, but at what cost? I still didn't know who paid what prices.

I groaned before scowling at my foot. "Oniichan stop kicking the stairs! They did nothing wrong!"

"Then there shouldn't be so many…" I endured the toe-numbing pain and followed my sister. There were a lot of trees looming over the steps. Just bare branches, some holding heavy blankets of snow. Those branches were going to snap any time now.

It was a different sight from back then, where the leaves were flying around; their vibrant colours sticking out in dusky hair.

"Oi, don't get so close to the trees…" Komachi pouted before doing exactly what I just said not too…was she still in her rebellious, middle school phase?

She was trying to touch the branch above her and I made sure to stay near in case she tripped. She gave up when even jumping failed and resumed climbing the steps, apologizing a woman she nearly ran into. I stared hard at the steps, attempting to dissociate myself from my clumsy sister. Otherwise I'd be the one blamed for the confrontation, somehow.

Wait, that woman just now…

When she passed me, I took a moment to observe her from behind before my shoulders fell, thawing from a moment of panic. Long black hair and a beautiful kimono but significantly taller.

Why was I being so jumpy?

I didn't need to ask such a ridiculous question.

"Oniichan! Hurry up!" Komachi had stopped, now waiting in place with an oddly concerned expression on her face. She wrapped her arm around mine when I reached her side. "You okay? You've been really weird today."

"On the contrary, I'm the normal one. Everyone around me is weird. Seriously, who wears a kimono to an uneventful shrine visit?"

Komachi's grip loosened. "Never mind…still the same oniichan."

At a higher elevation the air was colder. I buried my face deeper into my scarf, breathing heavily to help divert my attention from the cold. "We're here. Now can we go home?"

"No way!" Komachi ran down the sandō, which was clear of snow. Watching Komachi run along wasn't enough for me however.

No, not when she's standing by a stone lantern, hand above her heart breathing heavily while thinking deeply. Or when she's washing her hands in such a way that makes me want to improve my own technique. Or when she's bowing slightly, hands together by Komachi's side, her hair obscuring her face. It wasn't hard to imagine the deep concentration she was in.

"What are you praying for?" Her back straightened immediately and she whipped around, giving me an accusatory glare.

"Ask Komachi again nicely!"

Nicely? I didn't recall asking rudely. Then I will do just that. A simple trick to asking nicely out of reluctance was to add a touch of hesitance while sounding unsure of yourself. It makes you sound weak, weaker than the person you're talking to. It gives the other person a sense of dominance and superiority. Komachi wasn't being serious when asking me to ask nicely. She accepts me for who I am and my responses. No, the reason she asked was to help me practice for when I end up in a situation requiring this tactic. "Uh, what are you praying for?"

"Oniichan's happiness!" Komachi's arms extended wide and if it weren't for my stomach churning, I would have hugged her right then.

"I'm already happy. Why not your entrance exams?"

"That's still another year away oniichan…don't make me depressed. Low Komachi points." Her pout and stance were adorable. How could I _not_ have the best little sister in the world?

And yet a smile never cracked my lips.

"Aren't you going to pray oniichan?"

"For what?" There were plenty of things to pray for, to ask the gods' blessings for. Yet my mind was blank.

"Your happiness!"

"Nah, I'll just pray for your happiness."

"Oniichan, I'll only be happy if you are!"

"Didn't I just say I was happy?" Stop it, don't get annoyed at your little sister Hachiman. Then you really won't have anyone else.

"Well, you haven't seen Yukino-san in a while so I thought maybe something happened." She shrugged half-heartedly, but it wasn't hard to see she was observing my expression. She was growing up so fast…

"You know the chances of me inviting her to our house is zero, right? Nothing has changed."

I committed two grave sins.

"Oh, okay. Then pray for her happiness then!"

I didn't refuse.

* * *

I tugged my scarf, letting the cold air touch my throat. Such an inane action in this cold weather. But it was better than suffocating by a slightly-too-tightly-wrapped-scarf-by-little-sisters.

The snowfall was light, but enough to paint Chiba a beautiful white. Glistening snow is filled with unmatched scenery. I resisted grabbing a handful of snow and resorted to simply holding my hand out, letting snowflakes fall and melt upon contact.

"Yukino…"

It was a faint whisper, but enough to make me curious.

Yet when I turned my head, there was no sign of life on the streets. No roaring engines, no incessant chatter, just quiet.

I took a step forward and even the crunching of my foot against the snow wasn't loud enough to echo the silent streets.

So where, or why did I hear what I heard?

"Yo, Hikigaya-kun."

I stiffened and my face contorted. A hand was clasping my shoulder lightly. Behind me, was Hayama.

"Y-yo…" Could it be that we share the same greeting? What sense did that make?

"How's your break so far?"

The typical question when initiating small talk. It could work with anyone and with that award-winning smile, anyone would answer honestly and fully.

"Good."

And thus, I didn't want to deal with him.

"That's good to hear." Although, it was difficult brushing him off, with his polite attitude and genuine concern. "Are you doing anything right now?"

"No..." My instinct to lie had fled, leaving honesty behind.

"Do you mind joining me?"

His smile could make the white fluff around us melt, and I wasn't sure I wanted that. "Uh…"

"Ah, it's just me. I would really appreciate the company." I stepped back and took the time to observe him. He was only wearing a cyan coloured coat, covering his entire torso and more. It was extremely large for someone his stature. Unless he's one of those who hides their muscles under tailored clothes.

"It's New Year's Eve…don't you have something more important to do?" Was I trying to excuse myself by excusing him, or trying to draw out information? My mind was on auto-pilot, doing the talking for me while my thoughts scrambled about.

"Not really." His response surprised me more than it should have. He chuckled once he got a glance at my expression. "My parents are busy for the day. Until then, I've got free reign."

I couldn't say I wasn't surprised…but I was starting to become increasingly more nervous. What did it mean, that he had free reign? "What about your clique?"

"Clique…?" He took a moment to process what I just said, before shrugging it off. "My friends have plans with their families, I'd feel bad if I took them away from them."

His tone hadn't changed in the slightest, his eyes never dimmed, and his smile didn't waver. But maybe it was the way his hands stuffed into his pockets hastily, and how restless they were. "And you don't feel bad taking me away from my family?"

"That's why I asked you if you were doing anything." He laughed and I cursed. The answer to that question should have been 'it depends' or a simple 'yes' but instead I told the unfortunate truth.

"Right…" At this point, there was no reason to refuse obliging him. "Well, where are you headed?"

"I wanted to check out the snowboard section of the mall."

"Snowboard?" I couldn't help but ask. Of course, I knew what a snowboard was and it wasn't difficult picturing the cool-as-a-cucumber Hayama on a snowboard, but it still took me by surprise.

He nodded, surprisingly enthusiastically. "Do you know how to snowboard?"

I shook my head, it wasn't something I've ever tried. Perhaps if the opportunity was given I might. "Oh, but I do know how to ski!" I proclaimed, realizing I did have a skill that was comparable.

"Really? I admit, I'm not that great a skier." I almost did a mental cheer before realizing how odd it was, that Mr. Perfect wasn't good at the sport that was considered easier than snowboarding. Was he pitying me? Or humouring me?

"I'm pretty sure snowboarding is more difficult."

"Perhaps. I don't like to think of something as more difficult." He had decided to make direct eye contact with me, while I failed to make sense of the comparison. "You should join us on our next trip. Maybe you could teach me how to ski and I teach you snowboarding?"

"I'll pass." It was difficult to refuse a simple request such as hanging out for a bit, but one of that magnitude was easy. I realized it wasn't the first time I was invited to something on such a large scale. His head flew back as he laughed, the snow that was stuck to his hair falling out. His golden hair now glistened in the sunlight. "What's so funny?" I was curious, and cautious. It seemed you could never be too careful with rich kids.

"Nothing," he waved me off, further annoying me. "You really are special."

"Why thank you." I didn't care if he intended it as an insult. I've been told time and time again I'm 'unique' as if it was a bad thing. But to be special is a good thing as far as I'm concerned!

"By the way…Do you know about our New Year's dinner?"

"No." It was true, I never heard about Hayama's New Year dinner. Although the concept rang a bell in my mind.

"Every year, my family gets together with another family and we enjoy a comfortable dinner."

What did that mean, a 'comfortable dinner'? Ignoring that part, I focused on my own heart which had become heavier. "I see…sounds like a pain."

"It's enjoyable, I think. Seeing how similar yet different two families are. Completely different standards yet similar expectations. It's going to be very interesting this year too, considering the entire family is going to be there."

"Is that so."

He shrugged half-heartedly. "My parents told me how the youngest daughter will be there. They're excited, you know? To see how she's grown."

Why is he speaking in such vague terms? I already know who he's talking about… "I didn't know that was confirmed."

"Maybe it's just a hope we…they have."

When the wind blew, my scarf flowed. It was then I noticed Hayama wasn't wearing a scarf, and his neck was exposed to the chilly air. Yet he was unflinching. I tugged my scarf to cover more of my skin. If he wants to get sick, be my guest. I'm not an idiot.

"I doubt she'll go."

"Well, her older sister is going to get her today. I heard she didn't show up to their Christmas dinner."

"Well, her older sister went to get her for that too."

"She said things will be different this time."

"She won't change her mind."

"Probably not. After all, you know her better than I do." He smiled, praising me for reasons unbeknownst to me.

"I don't know her that well…"

"It doesn't change the fact that you know her better than I could ever hope to. Or rather, better than anyone could ever hope to."

I stepped backwards, glancing behind me. "Uh, I just remembered I have to get some snacks. My sister's waiting for me."

"Hikigaya-kun's sister…? Well, you better get going then." He raised his hand up high, waving goodbye. By obligation I nodded in response and let my two feet carry me far away from the blonde riajuu. But now I wasn't so sure if he could be classified as a riajuu.

* * *

I stared at the intercom, taking a deep breath. Discounting that was my eighth deep breath. I wasn't sure what I should say, but I suppose acting out of character was unacceptable. My finger hovered over the button.

"Hellohello!"

"Grk-" I nearly jumped at the sudden intruder. Turning around in an instant, I recoiled when I was face-to-face with Haruno-san.

"Are you here to see Yukino-chan, Hikigaya-kun? I didn't know you knew where she lived! Already on that level, huh?" Her finger was against my chest, poking me with every remark.

I brushed her finger away and looked to the side. "I, uh, had to talk to Yukinoshita about something."

"Still on a family-name basis? How boring!"

"W-well, she deserves respect. You know, Haruno-san?"

That did it. Haruno-san let out the most infectious laugh that almost made me laugh. Suddenly she hit my shoulder full force, almost making me fall to the cold, square floor tiles. "Okay, you win! You can talk to Yukino-chan first!"

I wasn't going to question her, not now. With haste, I pressed the button below the intercom. It was only a second before a quiet greeting altered by the speaker quality filled the room. "Hello?"

"Ah, yo. It's me."

"…What are you doing here?" Was she mad? I think she was mad.

"I want to talk to you about something."

"…Very well." Immediately, the electronic sliding doors to my right slid open. My hands stuffed in my pockets, I began walking.

"Ah, have fun you two! But don't take too long!"

The doors closed behind me immediately, almost like my bodyguard. Too bad even alone in the elevator I still felt like she was beside me, hissing threateningly.

When Yukinoshita's face appeared in my field of vision, the invisible snake beside me seemed to have vanished. "Y-yo. Can I come in?" She stepped aside from the doorway, letting me enter. I took my shoes off, making sure to leave them by the door and slipped on the snow-white slippers she had prepared. "Sorry for dropping by so suddenly."

"It was definitely unusual. So, what did you want to talk about?" She was still standing, not bothering to sit down on her couch. I decided to remain standing as well.

"Well, to apologize for what happened on Christmas."

"Ah, it only took you a week."

The chilly, sarcastic response was colder than the wind chill outside. "Yeah, I…don't really know how to explain what happened." Or it was mostly I didn't _want_ to explain something so embarrassing.

"Is that so. Did you mean what you said though?"

"Huh? What did I say?"

"That I deserved perfection."

"Well, yeah."

Her hand reached her temple, rubbing it while donning an expression of exasperation. "Just…sit down. I'll make some tea."

I did as she demanded, sitting on the smaller of the two couches facing the window overlooking the city. I was here to make amends. Whether I liked it or not, losing Yukinoshita had caused some sort of internal damage. It was a change in my patterned life. And it wasn't for the better.

"Here." I wasn't focused on the tea placed in front of me, but rather the sudden weight added to the couch. Yukinoshita was sitting right next to me, cheeks red from the cold, sipping her tea without a care in the world.

"Oh yes," she placed her tea down and turned to face me, my cheeks warming from the close proximity between us. "Your bag is in the kitchen. The one you left when you ran out of the café."

"O-oh."

"And I believe you owe me quite the great deal considering I had to lock up the café afterwards. It took me quite some time, mind you."

"My bad…"

"You really were only thinking of yourself, weren't you?"

No, I wasn't. I was thinking about her. But there was no way for her to understand. I only caused her inconveniences. "Well, I really am sorry about that."

"Hikigaya-kun, we're young. Too young for…" She trailed off, and my dumb mind decided to finish her sentence with words that would never come out of the refined woman's mouth. "And too young to decide what we truly deserve in life."

"But to generalize us among the great mass of idiots isn't correct." We were different. Her, and even Hayama as I was slowly learning. "You're already working towards getting into a university, something only third-years think about!"

"But isn't thinking that we're more than children exactly what makes us children? We have to work towards changing ourselves so we can be ready when we are older."

"…You sound like you've thought a lot about this."

Her head tilted down, her hair obscuring my view of her face. "I had a lot of time to think." Feeling slightly guilty, I didn't say anything. "I do know that right now…you're the only one who can claim what I deserve."

What did that mean? I had stated perfection before, but that was vague. I wasn't sure what it meant, and only assumed it wasn't me. My left hand hovered over her shoulder, before retreating back to my side. "I'll make it up to you then. That movie premieres tomorrow, right?"

She turned to me, hope shining on her tinted face before that same angelic smile returned. It made me uncomfortable, similar to before, but this time I stood my ground. Maybe I misunderstood my role to Yukinoshita.

If I truly was the only one who understood Yukinoshita, then I will stay.

* * *

I stepped outside the sliding door, and as I figured, the older sister was standing there, leaning against the wall tapping her phone repeatedly. As soon as she noticed me, however, she stuffed the phone into her pocket and skipped towards me. "Hikigaya-kun! You were up there for quite some time!"

I attempted to swat her hand away before she poked me, but I was too slow. "There was a lot to say."

She stopped poking me and began walking to the exit. My feet moved on their own, following her and the sway of her hips. "Oh, I bet! It has been, what, a week since you two talked?"

My eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?" I didn't want to confirm anything. Just where did she get her info from?

"Yukino-chan mentioned it, albeit briefly. I tried to get more info but she clammed up like the cute little clam she is! You're quite the gem, huh?"

She slowed down, allowing me to match her pace. "…Well, things got busy."

She nodded in understanding, but I knew she didn't understand. "And the bag?" She asked, pointing to the bag I was carrying.

"I lost it."

"Ah…" Once again, the same nod of understanding.

I realized something odd. "Weren't you going to ask her about the dinner?"

"Hm? And when did I ever mention anything about a lovely dinner?" I froze and her footsteps paused, only turning her head to craft a glowing smile filled with mischief. "But yes, I was supposed to get her to come to this year's dinner. Buuut it seems like it would be a waste of time."

"Is that so…" We resumed walking, and oddly enough her footsteps matched mine.

"Hey, Hikigaya-kun? On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate Yukino-chan?"

Splutters escaped my mouth, and I waited for her to say it was a joke. It never came. "Uh, ten I guess."

"That's quite bold!" She gasped.

I waved her off. "You're a ten too. Must be genetics or something."

"Or maybe you're just plain rude? I work hard to become such a beautiful oneesan!" Her hand slowly raced down her face to her ample assets and stopped above her stomach. I looked away, not willing to entertain her theatrics again. Realizing this, her smile returned to neutral. "But don't you think it's odd, how the perfect Yukino-chan didn't contact you at all the past week? You, of all people, had to take the initiative!"

"You could have left out the 'of all people'…" I didn't see what was so odd, that the proud Yukinoshita didn't want to clear up what happened. After all, what happened was my fault. I had to take responsibility. "Besides, she was sick."

"Oh? And you didn't go see her once when she was sick? You're quite mean, Hikigaya-kun!" A gasp startled out of my lips. Suddenly, she danced forwards. "Don't worry, I'll forgive you! I still like you Hikigaya-kun!" With a wink, she left me behind, leaving me to wonder just how much I actually screwed up.

And how much Yukinoshita isn't telling me.

* * *

"Well aren't you a sore sight." There she was, walking with confidence as per usual. My jaw slackened; I wasn't expecting her to approach me at this time of day.

"What are you doing? Didn't we agree talking to me during the day was a bad idea?" I didn't move, sitting on the cold steps while finishing the last pieces of my lunch and stuffing the plastic into my pocket. I dusted my hands, still unmoving.

"...This is quite nostalgic."

"Is it?" No, she was right. It was a different scenery than back then, where instead of countless cars in view it was just pavement and an empty bike shelter. But it wasn't the actual appearance that was nostalgic; It was the meaning hidden deep within the scene.

"I think I want to go back..."

"Huh?" I was confused, unsure of how to take that. Go back to what? Wasn't Yukinoshita the one who was always moving forward?

"This wasn't how this year was supposed to go."

It took me a moment to realize that both of our expectations for high school were shattered. And all it took was a single car. I wasn't supposed to be a loner of the highest caliber, and she wasn't supposed to be an ice queen. Yet we fell into the roles high school had prepared for us without any choice.

I shook my head. Thinking about things like that were meaningless. "Why are you thinking about this now?"

I looked up at her, who was standing by me. Her skirt was too long for me to get a look, although if I did I would be killed in an instant. Moving my eyes up more, the wind moved her hair back, her pale face in full view. It was apathetic, lacking any and all emotion.

Suddenly she looked down at me, a smile forming on her lips. "Thank you for the other day, by the way."

I rubbed the back of my head in embarrassment. Her smile was nothing new to me, but I appreciated it like the average human being. In other words, a gift from an angel. "It was your birthday…"

"I suppose I'll have to repay the favour."

"You could make it sound like you're not doing it out of obligation…" She huffed in amusement, and to my surprise sat down next to me. "O-oi! What if someone sees us?!"

"I'm allowed to sit, no?"

Not next to me… I moved over, creating as much distance between us as possible at the cost of getting my pants wet from snow. I glanced down at her skirt, realizing most of her bottom was covered by her long jacket. At least she was somewhat self-aware.

"Besides, don't you like this spot because no one comes here?"

Yes, and it was definitely true no one ever comes this way during winter, but this is the moment someone will walk by. It's a classic rom-com moment.

I stood up, discreetly glancing in all directions. "Well lunch is almost over. Better get back to class."

She stood up as well and nodded. "I'll see you after school then?"

I lazily waved my hand in the air while walking away. "Yeah, sure."

The moment I passed the corner, I froze before glaring like a bear at the rude bystander. "Eavesdropping is pretty rude."

Hayama put up his hands in surrender, laughing off my glare. "I wasn't eavesdropping, I was just walking by." My glare didn't lessen. What kind of excuse was that? He put down his hands when he realized I wasn't convinced. "I promise. I only caught the end of the conversation."

And that was more than enough. I wasn't sure how I was going to rectify this. "And yet you stuck around."

"It was just so interesting, knowing you two have that kind of relationship."

"Huh? Aren't you getting the wrong idea here?"

"I am?" His voice definitely carried the tone and experience of a drama class expert. "I can't say I've ever heard Yukinoshita-san sound so pleasant."

"That's pretty rude."

"Indeed." We both jumped at the third voice, seeing Yukinoshita walk towards us donning an aura of dominance and superiority that I've never felt. "Really, Hayama-kun? Eavesdropping?"

Her tongue dripped with malice. I involuntarily shivered while Hayama flinched. "It wasn't intentional, I promise."

I stepped back while Yukinoshita stepped forward. "What made today so different that you decided to follow me?"

I spoke up, startled. "He was stalking you?!"

She didn't even give me a glance. "That's the only explanation."

Hayama grew a pleading voice matched with a panicked expression. It was unsettling for someone who's only seen the sun. "I promise you, Yukinoshita-san, that I would never do such a thing! I walk by here pretty often to be honest. Hikigaya-kun knows."

Yukinoshita's head turned ever so slightly so one eye was visible to me. I cleared my throat, not meeting the single eye of the tiger. "Uh, it's true we've talked once or twice here…"

My eyes shifted to see Yukinoshita still staring at me with one eye, before they softened. She turned tail and left without a word.

I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. "Scary…"

"Do you see now, Hikigaya-kun?" Hayama walked forward, stopping right in front of me. His face carried a melancholic expression. "You said what happened doesn't matter. One of my dearest friends now treats me with open hostility. How could the past _not_ matter?"

If he wanted to be pitied, then he shouldn't have spoken to me. "Is that what you call your clique? Your _dearest_ friends? Will you just up and abandon them when things get rough?"

To my surprise, Hayama shook his head coolly, not becoming aggravated in the slightest. "No, I will stick up for them. Even if it means something happens to me." He turned fully to face me, and quite possibly the most determined expression was plastered on his face. "You're the one who taught me that."

"…If you're taking my actions seriously, then take this advice as well: forget about Yukinoshita." I said it with more venom than I intended. In fact, I didn't intend to use venom at all. I wanted to make the point of how he should forget about her and just move on. If there's one woman who held grudges, it's Yukinoshita.

"I can't do that. I won't. I don't want what I lost. But I don't want to leave things like this. I'll make amends, somehow." He took a deep breath, and in the blink of an eye his refreshing smile was back. "Thanks for this talk, Hikigaya-kun."

He walked away, as cool as the ocean breeze. He was gone, but I couldn't stay silent. He had years to make said amends. Someone like that, thanking me sarcastically, I could only respond in kind. "You're welcome."

* * *

"Hellohello!" If I was in a good, pleasant mood, it was gone. Replaced with anxiousness when I was lightly hit on the back.

"What now?" It was difficult to appear annoyed, not when she looked so happy.

"You make it sound like I'm a nuisance, Hikigaya-kun!" Her arm attempted to slither around mine. I stepped away before she even had the chance. Her hand flew up to her mouth and her composure was still strong. "A drink?" Her thumb jabbed behind us where there was a building that exuded the aroma of coffee.

She found my weakness. It was obvious, considering she was staring at me like a hawk and her smile twisted upwards even more. "A minute."

"You'll stay for more."

"I think I'll be gone in less…"

Time was counting down in my head the moment we took a seat. I wasn't sure if it was my imagination, but I could feel piercing gazes of all kinds on us. Haruno-san, however just took a sip of her drink like normal. As normal for someone with such ethereal beauty.

"What now?" I repeated, reaching the halfway mark.

"How have you and Yukino-chan been doing?" She raised a hand when my face scrunched and mouth opened. "I mean as…what do you call it? _Friends?_ "

My mouth shut, the sound of my teeth clamping echoed in my mind. Friends is what we are. No, not one of those fake friends of high school, but proper friends. "It's none of your business."

"But it's my little sister! Of course, it's my business!" As an older brother, I did see where she was coming from. I begrudgingly stayed silent. "Both mother and father were disappointed, you know? Yukino-chan didn't come to the Christmas dinner or the New Year's dinner."

What was I supposed to say? That she had more important things to do? Was I supposed to lie for Yukinoshita? "She had her reasons, probably."

"Everyone has reasons. It's whether or not you're allowed to have a choice." Just like how I had a million reasons to not accept her proposal, but didn't have a choice in the matter. "Yet she's been taking the reins lately. Doing whatever she wants."

"That's a good thing, I think."

"She's straining her relationships, Hikigaya-kun." There was a hidden meaning in that. I didn't know what, and I tried reading her pink lips, how they moved so elegantly with every syllable. It was to no avail.

"If that's all it takes then…"

"…maybe they weren't that close to begin with? But what if they wanted to get closer? Yukino-chan needs to stop being so selfish." She shook her head and was wearing an amused smile. It was difficult determining what was serious and what was a joke.

"Don't you think you're the ones being selfish, wanting her to bend to your will?" It was an accusation from an outsider. Someone who knew enough, but nowhere near enough.

"Last I checked, Hikigaya-kun, she's the one with freedom." Coffee with a sweet taste of sarcasm. Such a mixture was unheard of.

"You seem to have a lot of freedom yourself." It was another assumption, but this one was unfounded. I was ice fishing, waiting and waiting.

"I guess so!" The bait wasn't strong enough. Nothing was reeled. She stood up and I mirrored her. Suddenly, she was digging in her purse before pulling out a small pretty plastic bag. A pink bow tied it together and on the label was a familiar brand. "For you, my favourite Hikigaya-kun."

I stared long and hard at the bag in her hands. Taking a moment to look at her face, I could immediately tell I wouldn't be able to say no. "…I'm pretty sure I'm the only Hikigaya you know."

The bag fit perfectly in my palm and I couldn't resist clutching it, but not tight enough to destroy the contents. "True. But that doesn't make you any less special!"

"It defeats the whole purpose of calling someone your favourite." You could only use the word favourite when making comparisons. To say a gift you received is the best or your favourite is to demean any and all gifts you've received in the past. To say a person was your favourite wasn't something anyone could say in a meaningful way, except these two sisters.

"I don't think so." She hastily raised her arm hastily, staring at her thin watch. "Oh, got to go! I'll expect compensation in a month, Hikigaya-kun!"

I didn't return her wave, only sending her off with a deadpan expression. Down in my hand was the courtesy gift from before. She didn't seem to be the type of person to give chocolates, but I also didn't know what type of person she was.

Oh, and I guess she won.

* * *

"Ah, Hikigaya-kun."

I was done. I wasn't going to take this. As soon as his voice reached my ears I stood up, ready to leave. But he stood in my way, a strained smile on his lips.

"What do you want?" I sighed, tired from everything that's been intruding into my life. There was a time when he wouldn't even spare me a glance yet now he continued to approach me in my safe haven.

"Just looking for someplace quiet." He sat down on the steps, the spot next to where I usually sat except one step higher. "I see why you come here every day."

"What happened? Finally got tired of your clique?" I remained standing, looking down at him. He didn't turn to meet my stare, instead tilting his head slightly.

"Clique…? Ah, well, no. They're really great friends. I think you'd get along well." In a different body, name, and lifetime. And even that's a stretch. I glared at him but he showed no signs of caring. "I just wanted to get some fresh air." Already changing your story, huh?

"I thought you'd be getting chocolates left and right." There wasn't a petty tone in my voice, it was just acceptance of the awful social caste system this school has. Why should someone who keeps on receiving keep receiving?

"Ah, well, people don't like me _that_ much." He laughed it off but for some reason today his poker face was weary.

"Or perhaps you're just too kind." I wasn't surprised at the newcomer. Yukinoshita's been stopping by my safe haven every now and then, sometimes bringing me homemade lunches which were simply divine. "I remember the strain in the atmosphere when you accepted chocolates some time ago."

Why did that sound familiar? Yukinoshita took note of my confused expression and elaborated. "It was back in elementary." …Nope still didn't ring a bell. My expression didn't change and Yukinoshita sighed. "I know your memory is worse than a goldfish's, but even then… Hayama-kun would refuse to accept chocolates from certain individuals and thought accepting them all was the best solution."

Okay, woman, a goldfish's memory isn't that bad! "Uh…I still don't really remember but basically this time you're just outright avoiding them and refusing?"

Hayama nodded, still sitting on the steps. His hands connected and under his chin. "I don't want to hurt anyone. If they can't find me, then they won't be able to offer their chocolate to me."

"Isn't that cruel to let them cling to that hope? That they just couldn't find you so they still have a chance?" To be left with such hope, it brought back a bitter taste on the tip of my tongue. Yukinoshita was looking at me, but not with pity. Just concern. I turned back to Hayama.

"It's better than being heartbroken on a day where hearts are mended."

"I'd say Valentines is the day of heartbreaks." I did remember that one time in elementary, where Yukinoshita shot down a fool faster than I was shot down.

"Both are bound to happen on this unfortunate day." Yukinoshita's fingers were rubbing her temple, and I could only smirk. Those poor clods who think they had a chance…Well, I suppose I have some pity to spare.

"You two don't pull any punches…" Hayama forced a chuckle out, his face conflicted.

"What's the point? If you're going to punch at all, just get it over with." I looked down at my fists and couldn't help but wonder just how it felt to connect a fist to a face.

"Says the punching bag…" My glare was deflected by her ironclad expression. "You should reject them instead of running away."

I nodded in agreement. "They'll never ask you out again."

Hayama winced and he leaned forward, clasping his hands together. "It also means they won't talk to me the same way again. Is that kind of change worth it?"

"It will remind them of the cold reality we live in. This isn't a fairy tale, you know." The value of something is different for everyone. Hayama's shallow friendships are worth nothing to me, but to him they're worth more than I could comprehend. But Hayama knew that. How do you help someone who's trapped in between reality and fiction? And is fully aware of it yet not doing anything to escape.

He stood up and gave me a levelled stare, backed up by his chiseled facial features he was quite intimidating. "I'll make sure nothing changes between my friends. I'll make absolutely sure of that. And I'll protect them." Protect them. Protect them from themselves? How much more selfish can you get? "Ah, mind if you meet me after school, Hikigaya-kun?"

Woah, you just jumped ten steps of logic right there. "What?"

"What do you need Hikigaya-kun for?" The forcefulness in her voice made Hayama step back, almost slipping on the steps but he caught himself coolly.

"Just a small favour. I want him to accompany me to soccer practice. After that he's all yours, Yukinoshita-san."

I growled. I wasn't some kind of pet. How was this any different from slavery? Before I could even object, Yukinoshita beat me to it. "I'm afraid that's unacceptable." Whatever reason she had for declining for me, I was grateful.

"I've got stuff to deal with too." This morning I noticed Komachi made more chocolate than necessary for pops and me. That could only mean one thing.

"It won't take more than a few minutes. I promise." His hands were raised in plea.

I was about to shake my head before Yukinoshita decided to nod instead. "Very well."

"Don't I get a say?"

"Thank you Hikigaya-kun, Yukinoshita-san. See ya." He waved us goodbye and fled. Lunch must be almost over and I sighed. I didn't get an opportunity to eat…

"Why'd you do that?" I had to know. Yukinoshita under normal circumstances would keep me as far away from Hayama as possible.

"It's only for a few minutes. Call it morbid curiosity."

You know curiosity killed the cat, right? I eyed her warily before relaxing. "Well, see you later?"

She nodded but neither of us moved. We had to get back to class, yet our feet remained in place. If someone walked by, they would undoubtedly get the wrong idea and Yukinoshita's built reputation would plummet.

"…We should-" A plastic bag was pushed against my chest. I had no idea where it came from, but one second her hands were empty and the next it was pressed against my chest.

"Happy Valentine's Day."

My vision blurred as her hand remained against my chest. Slowly, my own hands reached the bag of chocolate, brushing her hands. She let go slowly once the bag of treats were secured firmly in my grasp. "…Thanks."

Making a sharp turn, she walked away while I stared dumbfoundedly behind her. The last time I received chocolate from a girl outside my family was…

I looked down at the small, clear plastic bag. Small chocolates filled the bag, each looking perfectly cut and I could only imagine the taste. They were more perfect than store-bought cookies, proof of Yukinoshita's talent.

Then was this courtesy chocolate?

* * *

When the bottom of the food chain was in the presence of the top of the food chain, you wouldn't spare a glance to the meager one. The prince's presence fills the hallways with light and attracts any and all annoying puppets.

Yet for some reason, not a single person was sparing us a glance.

"Amazing…people are naturally repelled by you."

 _You wanna bring this outside?_

My sidelong glare was ignored while Hayama walked by my side. His pose was disturbingly similar to mine, hunching over and keeping his face down. He was using me as a way to get to whatever club he was in without disruptions. Soccer I think.

The biggest flaw in his plan was that I didn't actually repel anyone. People just ignored me, but I existed. If I bumped into someone they wouldn't act disgusted or appalled for touching my clothes that might reek of hikigerms. They'd apologize quickly, gather their belongings, and leave.

Then why were people ignoring us now? Well, two's a crowd they say. Hayama's doing a surprisingly good job pretending to be a loner and there's nothing more gross than two hunching loners walking down a hall. I wonder if Hayama will become a famous actor one day? He fills the loner role better than me in some ways, as much as I hate to admit it.

"Thanks, Hikigaya-kun. I owe you one." I nodded, mentally storing this moment. I'll find some evil use for this favour; I'll make sure of it.

* * *

"So that's why he asked you to accompany him…" Silence surrounded us in this park while Yukinoshita's building loomed in the distance, casting a section of snow into darkness. "But is that all there is to it…?"

"What do you mean?" She had managed to follow us the entire time without anyone finding out. She was just too far a distance to hear anything.

Yukinoshita's talent for stealth rivals my own stealth techniques. I noticed Hayama also had some skill regarding stealth. Even Haruno-san. Why was there such a strong correlation between stealth and rich kids? Oh, but I'm not rich. My stealth techniques are different from theirs. They have an overwhelming presence and manage to somehow remain stealthy. It is because of my forgettable existence that I can be stealthy.

"It's just unusual. He's changed and I don't know how." Yukinoshita seldom spoke about Hayama, but when she did, it was of a Hayama long gone.

It could have been as simple as he wanted to use me to avoid girls. It probably was that simple. Yet Yukinoshita wouldn't accept that. The relationship they had once upon a time was as cliché as one could get: rich childhood friends, nothing but childhood innocence between them. And yet it was one that gave Yukinoshita scars that hadn't healed. Even if she thought they have. The person she depended on, the person whom she placed her complete and utter trust in, was no more.

"By the way…" Her voice snapped me out of my stupor, and I turned to face her, only for her to turn away. Her hair was tucked neatly behind her ear, allowing me to see her pink cheek. "Have you, um, tried the confectioneries yet?"

"Confectioneries…?" Figures she'd use such a roundabout way of asking me such a simple question. "No."

She turned, surprised before panic etched its way on to her face. "Is there something wrong with them? Is the scent too poignant?"

I almost lost my footing when I stepped back, startled by her sudden concern. I shook my head quickly to dispel her worries. "No, I just haven't had the time to try them. They look perfect anyway." I couldn't keep looking at her, so my gaze met the snow, a footprint where I was just standing. "I'm sure they'll taste fine. This is you we're talking about. You always do your best."

Was that the appropriate thing to say? I couldn't be sure. "…I see. Please refrain from giving me a heart attack next time."

She was holding her hand to her chest. I didn't know when she placed it there. Was it when I told her I didn't have any of her chocolates? Or was it when I reassured her? Did it matter when?

"Uh, sorry." It was to be expected that chocolates given on Valentine's would be worth more than the everyday meal. I made her think I simply disregarded her chocolate, even though that was far from the case. Apologizing was the proper course of action. "By the way, you've been talking to me more and more at school…isn't that, y'know, bad?"

If someone found out Yukinoshita and I had a connection, everything we tried so hard to keep secret for the last year would have been for naught. So why was she willing to risk it?

"I've come to a realization, Hikigaya-kun." Her stare was familiar. I was watching her play the guitar, a serene yet determined expression painted her face. Those eyes I commented that were colder than absolute zero, were warmer than the sun. "Some things are worth more than platitudes."

I didn't understand. But staring into her eyes made me feel like I did. My mouth formed an 'o', even though I was still just as confused. She didn't need to speak in cryptic messages twenty-four-seven. I wasn't compelled to ask.

She frowned, and I sensed she knew I didn't understand. Her eyes narrowed and I opened my mouth to let empty words speak. I couldn't say a word. I didn't understand what she was feeling or what she meant. "Never mind." Her hair swayed when her head shook. How many times have I seen her like this? Why do I keep seeing her like this?

Since when did I start leaving things like this? No resolution, nothing but bitter disappointment. "No, just, tell it to me straight." Her eyes widened just a smidge that anyone else wouldn't be able to notice. But I did. I noticed. When no one else would. "Just…I don't have any other friends, you know?" She did know. She knew better than anyone. "I don't know what signs to look for. What are worth more than platitudes, when that's all you have?"

"That's what I thought too. Hikigaya-kun, you have a loving family, don't you? Komachi-san was really sweet, every bit of how you described her. Whenever you described Komachi-san, I only related it to myself, realizing I didn't have that kind of relationship with my family. You know that." I did know. "What…what did you do after Christmas?"

"I-" My mind stopped my mouth, the sentence screeching to a halt before it could even begin. The question was obvious. It wasn't about me.

"And thus, I have come to that conclusion."

"I think you skipped a few steps…" My mind was reeling. I was only filling in the blanks, and it hurt.

"Do you understand?" She wasn't asking, she was pleading. I was making her plea.

"Yeah…I'm sorry." That was all I could say. That was all too say. My hands were shaking. I wouldn't be surprised if my whole body was shaking; I didn't have the courage to look. But Yukinoshita was shaking. She was shaking, and aware. But her courage let her tell me. My courage let me ask. "So, this is what having friends is like…?" I could only smile wryly. This sure was troublesome.

Yukinoshita's laugh sounded like a scoff. Or maybe she just coughed. "Friends? No, that's what Hayama-kun has. Or are you comparing us to him?"

"Hell no." We laughed. We were shaking and laughing. Something as simple and trivial as this, it really was pathetic. I could ask the question that remained, but I think it would be in my best interest to save it. "I'll make up for all this."

"Yes, you better."

I nodded. "One month. I'll make up for everything." She nodded. Whether she understood what I meant by everything, I wasn't sure.

But this wasn't the first time I've felt determined around her.

* * *

"These are great oniichan! I can taste the love in them!" Compliments, at face value, are meant to raise someone's self-esteem. To take someone's compliment at face value, you must have known them all your life. So, when Komachi compliments me, I know she's sincere.

My chest was puffed out and my hands were on my hips. "Well of course!" It was sad, but the entirety of the last month if I wasn't studying with Yukinoshita was attempting to bake chocolates. It wasn't difficult, not in the slightest. It was quite easy to make chocolates that tasted decent.

But decent wasn't enough. Not for my true goal.

There were plenty of trials I had to go through in order to achieve my goal. Number one! Keep Komachi away. If she realized that the chocolates I made her were different from the ones I was going to give to Yukinoshita, I would never hear the end of it.

Number two! Keep pops away. He might have tried to ride the coattails of my success and this was one time I was not going to let someone else take the credit for my efforts.

Number three! Manage to make three batches of chocolates while hiding the fact I was making three batches of chocolates. Of course, Komachi was well aware I was making chocolates for Yukinoshita. Mother on the other hand, would have noticed I was making more chocolates than Komachi could fit in her belly. So, I included her too thus having to make three batches of chocolates.

Number four! Taste testing! I couldn't taste test my own chocolates, so mother generously volunteered, and was quite adamant about the taste. I put in more effort into making chocolates than riding my bike to school.

I'm never making chocolates again.

"Well, I'm off." I slung a bag over my shoulder, leaving the house on a mission.

"Good luck oniichan!" I stopped in place, before looking at the girl behind me.

"…You still have school you know. Oh, and you better not accept any chocolate. Even courtesy. Actually, especially courtesy."

"…Jeez what a pain." Komachi followed behind me without a word, hopping onto the companion bike seat. I steeled myself for the day that would follow. My mind going through many scenarios and methods of presentation. My face was heating up and I was starting to lose focus.

I felt some of the tension in my body leave when Komachi wrapped her arms around me.

Ah, where would the world be without cute little sisters?

* * *

"The year is almost over…"

"School year," I corrected. Her follow-up glare made me regret opening my mouth.

"You knew what I meant," she sighed. "Did you really think I'd make such a trifle mistake?"

She had a point, I begrudgingly conceded. My breath was heavy despite the early spring air blowing by. It will almost be a year since everything began. No, everything began years ago. Nothing really changed in this year.

The only thing different, was having a physical presence in each other's lives.

"Um, where were you at lunch today? You weren't at your usual spot."

Grk. My body stiffened. It wasn't true that I was avoiding her, but I definitely didn't want to see her. "Uh, you know…" Before my miserable lie could form, I caught a glimpse of a slightly nervous Yukinoshita. Her lips were being pulled inwards and her blinking was more erratic. I wasn't even sure if she was breathing. "…Sorry, I just wasn't ready."

A large breath escaped from her mouth before her smile turned wry. "I figured. I still remember last time."

"Why do you have to remember that…?" Running away; I did it again, huh?

"Do I have to h-hold your arm to make sure you don't run off?" She did it anyways, squeezing a bit too tight.

A lot too tight. "Ow! Okay, I won't run! Jeez woman…" Her grip slackened but her hand remained, rubbing gently with her soft, petite hands, as if trying to soothe my wounds. Which she inflicted. I was at least grateful she didn't dig into my arm with those cherry pink-coloured nails.

"Anyway, here." I reached out to my bag with my free arm, pulling out the box of chocolates. Normally a bag would have sufficed, however I was concerned about whether they would be crushed or not. Something you put a lot of time and effort into, and then you find it destroyed. The receiver would comfort you, saying you did your best and it's the thought that counts.

But there's nothing like the physical proof of your efforts being destroyed because you were careless.

Thus, a box.

I handed it to her, hoping she would take it quickly before she noticed my shaky hands. When she did, she placed it onto her lap, tilting her head as if something would reveal itself if viewed from another angle. My insides were vile, turning and flipping while the butterflies weren't stopping. Eventually, she opened the box, pulling the ribbon meticulously without leaving a tear.

I couldn't look any longer and found myself staring out the window, gazing upon the city nightlights. It was an ordinary day for many and a life-changing day for some.

For me, it was neither.

"Did…did you make these?!" Her sudden exclamation startled me. She was staring at me with a shocked expression that screamed adorable. It helped there was a small piece of chocolate near her lips, something I never thought I'd see from the refined Yukinoshita.

"Ah...yeah." I tried to look anywhere but the small piece of chocolate, but that led to staring at her lips to her curious blue eyes.

She looked back down at the box of chocolates. "They're really good…"

"Eh?!" To hear genuine praise of my creation… the day of miracles has occurred! I, a loner, put in sincere effort and Yukinoshita, the ice queen, complimented me! I could die happy! I think I see the stars!

"You really did your best." Yukinoshita popped another piece of chocolate into her mouth, licking her upper lips to get any stragglers.

My oniichan senses kicked in and my finger reached below her lips, before pausing. "Uh, you still have some below…"

"Oh."

Neither of us moved, and my finger remained hovering below her lips while our gazes remained locked.

Was it really my oniichan senses that put me in this predicament?

Even now, I wasn't sure.

* * *

Thousands of stars, lighting the black sky. But even light can be drowned by darkness. Emotions which influence perception, that was the only reason. When even the cars driving by or the audio from the television echoing the room do not meet my ears simply because my thoughts were screaming and wailing.

Why? I had made a mistake somewhere. No matter how many times I map out my entire life, causes and effects, I could not pinpoint the exact time. The exact moment. Where did the butterfly flap its delicate wings that caused the hurricane today?

There was no such thing as sugar-coating the truth. Where, then, did a lie come from?

A disgusting noise escaped my nose. I paid myself little mind. I was always a fan of Clue. Mysteries were indulging, exciting, granting a brief period of satisfaction.

This wasn't a mystery I was enjoying. I wanted the solution, as soon as possible. It was unlike me to be so hasty, impatient. But I couldn't help it, with this tempered headache and increasing heartbeat. I desired the answer more than anything. Give me the answer. Someone…please…

.

There were no dreams or nightmares. I felt hot, and everything I touched felt like it would be set ablaze. How odd, in this winter air, that I feel what most would yearn to feel. But it wasn't a comforting heat. A painful one that in a way I was grateful for. I couldn't focus on a single task, and perhaps if I waited…the answer will fall in my lap. Yes, that would be the best-case scenario.

.

On the coffee table, an irritating noise startled me from my slumber. My vision was clear, my body was not. It could only be her to call at such an inconvenient time. Yet I hoped anyway, that he would give me my answer already.

.

What did I do wrong?

The question continues to echo in my head, even after I finally regained enough strength to make myself a cup of tea and take a luxurious bath. How long has it been? Time has been meaningless, even though it shouldn't be. I have to make sure I remember when school resumes…

Was I too pretentious? Should I perhaps change? But constantly I'm told how much my true self means. How I'm real…

The stars were no longer scattered in the black sky. I covered myself entirely in my Pan-san blanket, watching the white torrent cover the world. At this point, not even my face was visible to the night sky.

.

A blur was the best way to describe the days prior. Composed and warm thanks to this lovely poncho I found in his bag, I took a sip of tea, envisioning him right across from me staring with a strange, goofy expression. As long as this cup was in my hands, he was there.

Touching the plate, he was gone.

Hot. Cold. Hot. Cold. Hot. Cold. Hot. Cold

Maybe…this wasn't as bad as I believed.

.

For the first time in recent memory, my hair was no longer in disarray, my clothes straightened, and my living room clean. This would be the first step. My second first step, rather, towards total independence.

In the mirror, only a glare returned full force. If my glare was able to startle me, then that was enough.

I touched my hair, my long hair. My _nice_ , long hair.

I watched my face contort in the glass in front of me. It wasn't easy, forgetting, moving on from someone who's been there for so long. Is this what he meant, by escape? Was this what I was doing? Should I have been trying to fix what broke, instead of moving on?

Was change really the best option?

I wasn't sure how long, but I had just noticed the intercom glowing. I cleared my head of all thoughts and steeled my resolve. "Hello?"

"Ah, yo. It's me."

* * *

 **14.7k words** **\+ 400 words Author's Note! Whew!**

 **I'll try and keep this AN short:**

(Also, it's like 4:30 AM and I sleep)

 **I'm having a hard time believing it's been over a month...**

 **Well here it is. This will probably be my most controversial chapter I think. Either people will like it, or hate it. I'm sure you guys will let me know!**

 **There's not much for me to say regarding the contents. I did end up starting over around the 5k mark because I didn't like it before. It's been difficult and I worked really, really hard on it but I did my best and am quite happy with it. This was also by far the longest chapter to write, time-wise. Most "sections" took a day or more despite how short some might be. There was a lot of deleting and rewriting this chapter. It's also been the most anxious I've been while writing a chapter, constantly wondering your guys' reactions.**

 **But who would have thought, the chapter that was supposed to be revolving around only three main events (Christmas, Valentine's, and White Day) ended up being the longest chapter?**

 **Also, to clarify; Yukinoshita is not a weak damsel. That was not the intention of that POV. I actually wasn't sure where to put that POV. I had three options: start the chapter with it, put it in the middle, or leave it at the end. But I think leaving it at the end was the best option.**

 **As for previous chapters...I did retcon the whole overseas-elementary bit. Shout out to** ** _RalphZiggy_** **who provided evidence and gave me so much insight regarding their history.**

 **But yeah, if that part bothered you, then it's fixed. It kind of screwed up Chapter 2's flow unfortunately.**

 **I'm really glad so many of you like this story! It wasn't that I didn't have confidence or underestimated myself (I am very proud of what I've written so far. Especially this chapter), it's just to be listed as one of the best Oregairu fics was, well, overwhelming? It's kinda hard to describe. Though I have a feeling this chapter might make some people lose interest, but it's fine.**

 **Also, is there a specific year OreGairu takes place in? I assumed 2011 based on the Light Novel release year but that's just a guess.**

 **And finally, second year is approaching. Will the Service Club be formed? How close to canon will I follow things? I'll be honest, I've been going back and forth with this. I had written slight drafts for canon events with the new relationship between our two loners but the events didn't change enough. Hm. Guess we'll see what happens.**

 **Well, whether you liked this chapter or not hope you at least had a good read!**

 **Also, it was a complete but cool coincidence that I updated on Hikigaya's birthday (August 8). Found this out after the fact.**


	6. Chapter 6

The snow left a month ago, taking the cold with it. Replacing it was groups of indescribable clouds that ignorant children would try and make meaning out of. Giving meaning to meaningless things… what a youthful thing to do.

While everyone would be looking at the clouds, I'd be looking at the sun behind it, ascertaining its position and by using a lost art, can confirm that it was noon.

Every sense in my body was on high alert. I would not allow myself to be the prey, not anymore. In just one year I witnessed change in the people around me. Everyone, except _her_.

"Hihi! Hikigaya-kun!" She was waving from the distance, her voice barely reaching my ears. She managed to gather the attention of everyone around her and you'd have better believed she called me out so loudly and boisterously on purpose.

She didn't speed up, slow down, no she was walking at her regular pace, basking in the attention. It was annoying, as I couldn't help but stare alongside the plebeians. She was glowing, taking full advantage of her natural beauty.

"I hope I didn't make you wait too long." Bubbly, cutesy, and fake.

I turned to the sky. The sun had barely moved. "Not that long."

"Ah, good. Good." She tilted her head, her hair already growing back. "So how has your small break been? Actually, let's talk over some coffee, hm?"

Damn, she knew I couldn't resist coffee. Have I spoken with her so much that she knew every habit of mine? "I don't have cash on me…"

"Ah, I'll pay. Consider this a treat from Yukino-chan!"

How unrealistic. Yukinoshita would never pay for coffee. "That's hard to imagine."

"Then maybe you need to improve your imagination, you logic hunter."

Logic hunter? It was clear by my expression I didn't understand, to which Haruno-san giggled. It seemed like all I do was make this woman laugh.

"How was your first year of high school, Hikigaya-kun?"

A simple, ordinary question with an answer that was unacceptable. My answer could never satisfy anyone. Not even Yukinoshita. But… maybe. There might be a chance that, of all people, she would understand. "It's annoying. Filled with people who deny reality and continue to enjoy their youth by their own double standards."

"Har har, is that so?" She was grinning like a hyena from ear to ear. It would have been unnerving, but her eyes danced with a playful mirth that for the first time ever, made me feel calm in her presence. "And you? What about your double standards?"

"How can someone who doesn't have standards have double standards?" I posed. She didn't respond. "People make up their own conditions for youth on the fly. There's no set rules to youth. But I have rules, I have methods. As long as I stay true to them…" …what? What am I accomplishing? I couldn't finish the sentence.

"You stay true to yourself, hm? How thoughtful of you. But I wonder…" In a second she stopped and spun on her heel and let her index finger hover above my chin. "Does anyone appreciate that kind of thoughtfulness?"

"I don't care." I batted away her hand, noting how soft it is.

"Even if it means getting rejected by those who hold you dear?"

"Even then." Those words weren't forced. I already gave up any falsities back in middle school, where undesirable memories rested. Where I tried to be more than who I am. So this answer was an easy one. I didn't hesitate. I answered clearly. It was an easy answer.

"Good!" She hopped back and extended a hand. "Let's get some coffee to celebrate!"

"Celebrate?" I stared at her hand warily. On the fourth finger of her right hand was a silver ring, shining in the sunlight.

"The day you found out that rules were meant to be broken!"

* * *

"What did you mean by that? Were not stealing anything, right?" I had yet to touch my coffee. I refused to be an accomplice to this woman.

"No, nothing you need to fret about. I jut want to remember this day. After all, this is the day I received my first chocolate from Hikigaya-kun!" Her voice had risen with each word. I could feel the heated stares of jealous men around me. If you want her, be my guest! Take her! Don't blame me if you die. "Actually, what day is it today?"

"Shouldn't you know? You're a college student aren't you? Though I can't say your attitude befits one…"

"How mean Hikigaya-kun! I am totally a responsible adult, you know!" She took a large gulp of her coffee, practically contradicting herself. "April 1st. What a day."

"What do you mean…?"

She waved her hand. "You'll understand some day. I bet… two years!"

I didn't understand but the fact that I'll be interacting with this woman for two more years was an exhausting thought. "Suddenly I don't want to give you your chocolate anymore…"

"Neesan's shutting up now!"

Was this woman serious…? I had better just get this over with… I reached into my jacket pocket and pulled out a plastic bag of chocolates and nearly dropped them on the table. "Here…"

"Oh my, these don't look anything like the ones you gave Yukino-chan!"

Did Yukinoshita show Haruno-san the chocolates I made…? How embarrassing… "Yours were store-bought so I returned the favour."

"Oh?" Haruno-san leaned forward, her elbows on the table pressing her chest together. I pushed my seat back and hoped my gulp wasn't audible. "How do you know they were store-bought? Have you ever considered…I might be just that good at baking?"

I wasn't impressed. "Yeah, and I take it you bake for that company too?"

"Okay, okay! I just really wanted some of Hikigaya-kun's homemade chocolates! I'll bake you some next time!"

"Please don't…" Baking wasn't something I desired to do for a long time. I was fine just cooking the average lunch and dinner for Komachi. Besides, those chocolates had to be special. I owed _her_ , after all.

"Are you looking forward to your second year?"

What's with the small talk? I wasn't used to it so I took longer than normal to answer. But she was patient, watching me intently. For every second I watched her, she was analyzing me as well. "No. First year gave me a routine to follow. Who to never talk to in class, who to never greet, who to never sit next to, who to never listen to, who to never take seriously, who to never make eye contact with, but now that homerooms and classes change I'll have to re-evaluate everyone and learn a new routine. It's a nuisance."

Sweet and familiar. The fact she ordered me coffee I liked was scary. Looking back at her, it was startling for me. She was staring at me completely dumbfounded. "I never imagined you greet people."

"I don't. There are just was some people where no matter what I'd never greet." Like you, I almost said, but I didn't want to die.

"Hm, I better not be on that list." Crap. "Hey, Hikigaya-kun, if you ever see me make sure you say hi! Even when I'm in a crowd, no scratch that, _especially_ when I'm in a crowd!"

Whatever expression of disgust I made amused her enough to almost make her fall out of her chair. I never considered myself a comedian, but with how many times I make this woman laugh I wonder if I should become one. But even I knew out of everyone, I could only make her laugh. Her and her sister.

"Oh, I know! I know someone at Sobu! I'll tell them to look out for you."

"You don't need to do that…" Please don't make my life difficult. At this moment it's simple with not much stress, aside from her. Just the way I like it.

"I'm doing you a favour! You'll thank me later!" I almost believed her. Her happy tone for the first time didn't feel sinister. But I couldn't trust her. "Ara? You don't trust your neesan?"

"Hell no."

She rolled her eyes, planting her chin into her hand. "Ah anyway, it's quite impressive how similar we are. It's almost like we're soul mates."

I choked on my coffee. "I find that hard to believe."

"Really? Hm, maybe you're right." She took a solemn sip of her coffee, although I wasn't sure if there was any in her cup. "I hope your second year is more eventful."

"Was yours?"

She looked straight at me and her eyes reflected an indescribable emotion. "No, no it wasn't."

* * *

It was sudden, but there was no doubt my body shivered. Petals from a neighbour's sakura tree danced in the wind before one landed on my nose. It was barely noticeable with no distinct feeling.

It danced off my nose, again carried away by the wind. Some probably landed on my head. I didn't bother checking after doing one quick brush with my hand before getting on my bicycle.

I put my bag in the basket attached to the front wheel, where another smaller bag already was. Knowing Komachi, she probably forgot she already put it in there and is searching frantically all over.

"Oi, Komachi, look at the time."

"I know! But I can't find my bag oniichan!" Heh, I hit the nail on the head. After all, there's no one in the world who knows Komachi better than I, the oniichan.

"I got it right here. Come on." Faster than I expected, she got on the passenger seat and wrapped her arms around me.

"Let's go!" I could make out her extended arm to my side before I began pedalling. "Oh, but make sure you don't get hit by a car. I'm with you this time, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah."

One year later.

I didn't think much of it honestly. Or maybe I was supressing the thoughts. What was the point of thinking about such a bothersome event? It's not like it was anyone's fault. Dog, owner, driver, me, no one. And it's not like anything happened as a result. Everyone's still alive. Dog and me.

That's right, no reason to think about it.

I stopped briefly at Komachi's middle school, looking at my phone. As expected, there was a single text.

 _Yukinoshita: Don't get hit by a car._

 _…Yeah, no problem._

From any other person it would seem like a joke of poor taste, but not her. I wasn't one to believe in conspiracies (not anymore), and neither was she, but if there was a chance, no matter how small, then even if it's a ridiculous notion, do everything we can to prevent it.

To say "what are the odds I'd get hit by a car again on the same day?" is true. The odds were miraculously low. But the chance is there. And a chance like that, Yukinoshita would do everything in her power to prevent it.

With someone like that on the other side of this connection, I smiled. Pocketing my phone, I made way for the new school year.

* * *

"…Service…Club?" The words didn't roll off my tongue and tasted bitter. "What the hell is a 'Service Club'?"

Yukinoshita rolled her eyes, no doubt not happy with my wording but didn't press. "A club where we assist the student body with tasks, helping them become more self-sufficient in the process."

"…I've never heard of a club like that. Getting involved with other people's problems… how annoying." I rubbed my eyes. It seemed even the topic of this 'club' bored me to tears.

"You should be quite experienced, no? Having been a student representative in a past life and all."

"Don't remind me…" Too late, memories were flooding back and I had to hold back a growl. "Ugh. Why are you joining this 'club' again?"

"I'm the only one in my class who has not joined a club. My guidance counselor said that my grades can only get me so far, and I should put my smarts and wits to use in an extracurricular activity."

As if that wasn't something Yukinoshita didn't already know. But her low stamina prevents her from being able to properly perform in clubs and she spends her time improving herself. A club as troublesome as this would only get in her way. "I don't know if it's a good idea. You've already got a lot on your plate as is."

"I do. But… maybe this is the opportunity I've needed." I stared at her, confused, to which she rolled her eyes and leaned forward across the table. "A club to improve student's capabilities. A club to improve society. Isn't that what I've been studying for? All these talents that I never got to use, and may never use. If I could use them to improve a school like this, then I think I'll take it."

"Improve society…" Was something like that even possible? The notion had lingered in my mind more than once, especially when I looked at her. And I believed it, because it wasn't happening. Nothing had changed even after her declarations in the past. The future is where changes would happen, was what I thought.

More than half a decade later, and this is that future. She was beginning to take the steps necessary. And my doubts have resurfaced.

"You don't think I can do it." I snapped out of my thoughts and met her stare. She didn't ask, she stated. She didn't look angry, she looked… well, not angry.

"I… don't know."

"Are you sure?"

I stared long and hard at her. Her unwavering determination glowing in her eyes, her hair frozen, except the strand that fell loose in front of her eye, and her chest barely moving alongside her breathing.

I shook my head and looked away. I couldn't look at her. "I don't know."

"That's fine." My head whipped towards her, and she huffed, her lips curling upwards. "I don't know either. I'm not going to make claims. I'm not going to assume. But I'll still try. I've watched you work so hard the last year, and even before that. You didn't get what you wanted most of the time, but when you did I felt some satisfaction that wouldn't have been there if you did get what you wanted constantly."

"Passing math was the greatest achievement of my life," I nodded, agreeing with her.

"…Your mark left a lot to be desired." She shook her head but her smile never wavered. "As I was saying, I have to at least try."

"… I feel like this guidance counselor said a lot more to you than you're telling me."

"What would give you that idea?" Her head tilted slightly, a mischievous smirk on her face. It was obvious she wouldn't tell me, which was fine.

"Just a hunch."

"Hm. And your hunches are usually wrong."

"Actually, they're accurate one-hundred percent of the time." I pulled my own, cocky smirk which only deepened her frown. I quickly wiped the smirk off my face. She sighed.

"I'm afraid that we won't be able to meet up after school anymore." Yukinoshita reached over her arm and gripped her sleeve, grimacing. "I… hope you understand."

"O-of course." Damn it, why'd I stutter? I wasn't nervous and it was completely understandable for her to take this path after what she just said. I'd just be in the way. "You helped me through the tough part of school. I can manage on my own now."

"…I see." Her expression didn't change, and if anything lowered even further. "Yes, you'll be fine."

A silence ensued. Was I supposed to leave things like this? Was this the end?

As quickly as that thought formed, it disappeared. If a friendship like ours were to fall apart because of a club, then what kind of friends were we? …That was how friendships worked, right? Was that even what you could call… whatever was between us? "Right, well, it's not like we'll never talk. There's lunch, weekends, breaks, y'know."

This time, her expression changed, lightening up considerably. "R-right! Of course! And, if you ever need help, feel free to stop by the club."

Her smile filled with joy was infectious, I couldn't stop grinning. And it was one of the rare times where I wasn't called out for looking gross.

Though, it's not like I'll ever need to stop by some club, especially one she was a part of.

* * *

"Wait, this is…" The door slid open abruptly, my teacher in front of me having violently opened it, and we stepped into the room. "Sensei, this is…"

I stopped. Sitting alone on a single chair in the middle of the room, with the rays of sunlight shining on her emphasizing her beauty, the open window letting in the breeze that allowed her hair to flow freely, was Yukinoshita.

Immediately, she broke her gaze from the book in her hand to glare at sensei. "Hiratsuka-sensei, I'm pretty sure I asked you to knock before coming in."

Stepping forward, not at all intimidated by the glare, Hiratsuka-sensei waved off Yukinoshita. "You never answer when I do."

"You never wait for an answer…"

This really was it, huh? Not much of a classroom, and considering the blank doorplate it was unused. Thought that was obvious from the number of tables and chairs stacked in the back.

Yukinoshita's heavy sigh managed to echo across the room. "What do you need, sensei? And why is he here?"

"Right, well, this here is-"

"Hikigaya Hachiman. We've met," Yukinoshita interrupted.

"Oh? Well that makes things easier. See, we've got a new club member."

"…Huh?" I looked around, wondering where exactly this new member was hiding. Good luck to them, having to put up with Yukinoshita's blunt wall.

"What's with those shifty eyes? I'm talking about you, Hikigaya-kun."

I met Hiratsuka-sensei's irritated glare and gulped. I misheard her, for sure. "Uh, can you repeat that? I wasn't listening."

She turned around fully. "As penance for that joke of an essay, you will join this club."

…Wait, what? Was she serious? Was that even allowed? "I said I'll redo it, didn't I?"

"I don't care. Questions, objections, concerns, dissenting opinions, all of it will be overruled and your sentence is joining this club." She didn't wait for me to respond, turning back to Yukinoshita without pause. "So, as you can see, he's pretty rotten. Oh wait, you said you met? So you should have a good idea of his rotten personality."

"…Rotten personality? Hikigaya-kun, just what did you write?" Yukinoshita looked at me accusingly. I wish I was able to defend myself, but if I showed Yukinoshita the essay I submitted…

"This." Out from her lab coat, Hiratsuka-sensei pulled out a piece of paper. She handed it to Yukinoshita who immediately began scanning it top to bottom.

"Wait, didn't you tear it to shreds…?"

It seemed like neither heard me, but I could see Yukinoshita's eyes narrowing more and more before silently returning the paper to Hiratsuka-sensei. "It does seem like he will need to undergo rehabilitation."

"Wait, what!?" Of all the people I expected to betray me, Yukinoshita wasn't even on the list! My essay wasn't _that_ bad! It was accurate and completely understandable.

"Good. Although, I'm kind of curious how someone in the class 2-J knows someone like him."

"It's a long story." It came out of our mouths instantaneously. We blinked at each other before looking away. I wasn't sure why, but I felt embarrassed.

"Well, I look forward to hearing it one day. Good luck, Yukinoshita." And with that, sensei turned and slid the door shut behind her, leaving the two of us alone in the classroom.

…

What the hell.

"Let's start off with the obvious." Yukinoshita stood up, her book closed and placed on her chair. "What on earth was that essay? I know your Japanese skills didn't degrade since we last spoke. I honestly cannot think of an explanation for that atrocity. And concluding with 'Fools that enjoy their youth should go kill themselves' is an extremely strong statement, ignoring the fact that people have the ability to change."

Every word I could feel myself shrink under her gaze. It wasn't rare for me to be scolded by her, it was actually quite common, but she seemed even more upset than usual.

She let out another sigh of exasperation, her finger pushing against her forehead. "I thought you said you'd be fine on your own…"

"I, uh, was in a rush."

"I doubt that."

"And why?"

"Just a hunch." I glared but she didn't care, as per usual. It was interesting in a way, getting the blend of public Yukinoshita and the Yukinoshita I knew. Her aggression was increased, but there's no way she'd speak so casually to some nobody. "Come on, help me get a table and we can fix that essay."

I had a bad feeling about this. "Uh, Hiratsuka-sensei still has it…"

Her smile was sweet, sweeter than usual, filling me with dread. "By fix, I mean start over."

* * *

"This is completely unexpected." But of course it was. Anyone who wasn't aware of our relationship would be shocked so badly they'd die. A loner with no presence and the other most popular girl in the school. A combo that makes absolutely no sense and would probably hurt the brains of every person who wants to enjoy their youth.

"Hiratsuka-sensei, did you need something?"

She shook her head, her extremely long hair swinging from side to side. "I have some time to kill, so I thought I'd listen to a story."

"Story?" I asked before Yukinoshita glared t me.

"Keep writing."

My head jerked down and my pencil began moving again. "Yes ma'am."

I felt Yukinoshita's gaze leave my body, allowing me to breathe. "What do you mean, sensei?" She asked.

Hiratsuka-sensei gestured towards us. "The story of how the class 2-J representative met the most rotten student in all of Sobu."

I looked up. "Is that what they call me?" I wanted to smirk in pride, but for some reason I wasn't feeling prideful.

"It's what I call you."

"Oh…"

Yukinoshita's index finger met her forehead. "What have you done…?"

"Did you know," Hiratsuka-sensei spoke before I could defend myself. "That you can tell a lot about a person by the way they sit? Slouched, straight, hunched, it's quite easy."

I didn't like where this was going.

"Only one person in my homeroom class hunches. Only one person in my homeroom class refuses to participate. Only one person in my homeroom class wishes death on his classmates."

"When you put it like that I really do sound rotten…"

Yukinoshita's exasperated sigh caught our attention. She looked tired. "Hiratsuka-sensei, please don't worry about Hikigaya-kun."

And that was all.

Hiratsuka-sensei was left speechless, before softening her stern expression. "Right, well, I'm leaving him to you anyway."

She left. It was sudden, and I stared at Yukinoshita.

"You're still keeping up with this farce?"

…Farce?

"Hikigaya-kun, you don't need to separate yourself from your true self for me anymore."

"I think you're misunderstanding me. I'm not like you where I have a fake persona and a real one. What I show to people, to everyone else, is still a part of me. Even everything rotten. I'm not going to deny myself for the sake of others."

"I didn't say that." Huh? "You're standing out. For me."

I didn't understand her words. I did understand she was angry.

I wasn't standing out, no one knows who I am. It was confusing but she wouldn't explain further. I felt disappointed.

* * *

"Why am I here…?" It was the next day and once again I was in the empty clubroom. "I though this was a joke..."

Letting go of the scruff of my neck. I immediately began rubbing it. Damn did she have a grip…

"When I said you were joining this club, what did you think I meant?"

It was difficult maintaining eye contact with violent people. Normally it's because it's hard to look at them without laughing, but right now I feel genuinely terrified. "...Join the club, temporarily…?"

She cracked her knuckles. "You are an official member of the Service Club. Do you understand?"

For every syllable a knuckle was cracked. My fear was known by my gulp. Just who was this woman!?

"Sensei, I am going to have to forbid any violence against him." Yukinoshita to the rescue! My gratitude to you! "I still need him in one piece for now."

"I'd prefer if that 'for now' was 'forever'…"

"Ah but that's impossible, isn't it?"

"if I stay in this club, yeah."

She sighed. "what do you think this club is?"

"A club for people who actually give a damn." Which I don't.

"…" Oh great, now I got two scary women glaring at me. I felt myself shrink when Yukinoshita stood up. "Then allow me to pose a request to you."

"Uh…"

"You know my ultimate goal, you know why I created this club. So help me achieve my goal."

Is it natural for your heart to beat faster after hearing such a request? Manga would have you believe that the heart only beats when you're in love. But no, the heart can beat for anything sincere. And Yukinoshtia is sincere incarnate.

"Does this mean you're not going to try and skip club ever again?"

I Frowned at the smug tone sensei used. "I will make sure he shows up from now on, don't worry sensei. "

"Mhm, I'm not worried, not anymore. I'll leave this club to you, Yukinoshita." Sensei saluted and made her way to the door. She slid it open but before leaving she looked at me. "Do your best Hikigaya-kun!"

…My best? When was the last time I did my best for complete strangers? And what did it get me?

But now, helping strangers helps Yukinoshita… What a conflict of interest.

* * *

"You are okay with this, right?"

"You're asking that now?" I sat down in my chair which sat a good distance away from Yukinoshita. The table from yesterday was gone and just as before there was an empty space filled with only two chairs.

"I admit I saw it advantageous to have you forced to join this club, but that was disregarding your feelings and for that, I apologize."

"Ah well… wait, what do you mean 'advantgeous'?" Seeing she wasn't going to answer, I scratched my head to answer her original question. "Well, if it helps you in any way, I suppose I don't mind."

"Is that so?" Across the room I could barely make out her smile. Or, was that me putting it there myself, having seen it so much?

"I'll probably quit my job."

"Hm, you might have to."

It was a bittersweet feeling. I didn't particularly care for my part time job, but it wasn't awful being surrounded by coffee. And having some extra pocket change was nice. It felt strange, ending something else that became a part of my routine. It made me wonder what was the point?

But I also knew that not everything had meaning. Jobs were a requirement by society. Nothing more, nothing less. That was just how life was.

* * *

"Hey so…" It's been a week since I joined this club, but I'm starting to have extreme doubts that this isn't the reading club. "Have you even had a request yet?" Yukinoshita, without looking up from her book, nodded. I frowned in response. "How many?"

"Two."

"Just two…? What were they?"

She flipped a page. "Assisting a student with writing an essay and reforming the most rotten person in the school."

"…Weren't those both Hiratsuka-sensei's requests…?" I sighed deeply. "Does anyone even know this club exists?"

She suddenly looked thoughtful. "Perhaps advertisement should be a future consideration."

"Future? How about now…" I finished by yawning, covering it with my hand. "Hey can we get a tab-"

I was interrupted by the sound of knocking. It was foreign, unnatural, that I had shut up instinctually. "Come in." Yukinoshita's stern yet formal voice echoed. Any normal student would have been intimidated and ran off.

Which is exactly what happened when the door didn't open.

"Huh, guess you-"

The door slid open, proving my unfinished words wrong. Entering the room was someone I didn't recognize in the slightest.

A loud hair colour, unbuttoned shirt emphasizing her assets, a medium-sized ribbon that was loosely worn, a shorter than average skirt… the type of girl I avoid at all cost: a slu-

"What is Hikki doing here!?"

…

She was pointing directly at me, her eyes practically bugging out. I leaned back in my chair. "I'm a member of this club…"

Hikki!? What kind of nickname is that? Why is she giving me that nickname? I glance at Yukinoshita who looked equally disturbed. She had grabbed a chair from the back and placed it near her.

When our eyes met, she immediately regained her composure, clearing her throat to guise her disgust. "Yuigahama Yui, correct? Clsss 2-F?"

"Oh, you, like, know who I am?" Annoyingly twirling her hair, she took a seat next to Yukinoshita.

I was also admittedly surprised Yukinoshita knew who she was. Yukinoshita, as perceptive as always, noticed my perplexed expression. "You don't recognize her?"

"Huh?" I thought back to the introduction Yukinoshita gave her. Yuigahama Yui… Class 2-F… wait. "She's in my class?"

A finger met Yukinoshita's forehead while she sighed in exasperation. "You don't even know your classmates?"

"I didn't know them last year either," I pointed out, to which she huffed cutely.

"I was hoping with the advent of these Service Club you'd at least try and learn more about potential clients."

"Why bother when everyone's got problems they want other people to solve?" Besides, I knew one person in my class. One I made sure to sit far away from.

"Do you want to help me or not?"

"Getting to know my classmates was not part of the deal. It's easier to just wait until they have a request. Then I can learn their names." To forget later.

"Or if you learn their names sooner we can skip the tedious introductions."

"That's… true."

"Whoa… this club seems like loads funs!" Interrupting our conversation was this bimbo. How could someone deduce that this club was fun from that!? "And Hikki, you're, like, totes running your mouth off!"

"…Huh?"

"Ah! I mean, you, like, don't ever talk to anyone and just stare blankly into space and leave as soon as class is over…"

What the hell…? I looked over at Yukinoshita for backup.

"As I was saying before," Yukinoshita redirected the conversation back to her with ease. As expected of her. "You don't recognize her, Hikigaya-kun?"

"Didn't we just go over that?"

"Not from school, but somewhere else?"

If Yukinoshita's asking me that, then there was a reason. This girl was from my past, and that was a very depressing thought. When would I have ever interacted with this chick? Was my past self that pathetic?

I stared at her a bit harder while she fidgeted uncomfortably. Sighing, I looked at Yukinoshita. "…Nope, no clue."

"I see. You did say she never visited." Visited? What? "This is Yuigahama Yui, the owner of-"

"W-w-w-wait a second! He doesn't have to know! How do you even know, Yukinoshita-san!?"

Confused, Yukinoshita tilted her head. "Why shouldn't he know? Don't you think he deserves to know?"

What do I deserve to know? Do I deserve to know? Maybe anything related to this girl should stay in the recesses of my mind.

"I don't want to bring back any bad memories…"

Ah, so she was someone who was from my unfortunate past. In that case I agree wholeheartedly that I didn't need to remember her.

"Hikigaya-kun bears no ill will to anyone involved." Hah? "She is the owner of the dog you rescued."

…Hah?

Yuigahama was avoiding looking at me entirely now, which confirmed Yukinoshita's statement. Not that she would lie, of course. "Oh…" I wasn't entirely sure what to do with that information. But it definitely wasn't as bad as I thought. "Whatever."

"'Whatever'!?" The chair beneath Yuigahama was violently thrown over when she jumped out of it. "You saved my dog's life and I couldn't even thank you! I-I-"

Why was this woman about to burst into tears!? I was the one hit, no? Was she just an emotional airhead!? Even Yukinoshita seemed exhausted by her.

"Calm down. As I said, Hikigaya-kun holds no grudges with anyone involved. Not to mention the event happened a year ago."

A year. It had indeed been a year.

Yet I still remember it clearly. The smell of the breeze, the barking, the screeching… But I wasn't afraid. It was just probably one of the clearest memories I have. I should really get around to forgetting it.

Yuigahama seemed to actually calm down by Yukinoshita's words. It was impressive, considering Yukinoshita only spoke with cold, hard facts. She wouldn't stop rubbing her eyes but did turn to Yukinoshita. "How do you know about it, Yukinoshita-san?"

To my surprise, Yukinoshita bit her lip and looked down at her lap where her book rested. "I was there."

That was unusual. As far as I'm concerned, Yukinoshita always spat the truth, hard and solid as it was. To only go halfway was… unlike her. There were instances where she'd try and provide as little information as possible, but this was different.

Should I speak for her?

I wasn't sure if I had that right.

And besides, it was still the truth, right?

My thoughts, and Yuigahama's too I'm sure, dissipated when Yukinoshita cleared her throat and looked directly back at Yuigahama. "You came here with a purpose, correct?"

"Umm…" The continued hesitance and shifty glances were annoying. Seriously, was it that hard to say what you were thinking?

"Maybe you should step out for a moment, Hikigaya-kun."

Huh? …Oh, I see. Now it made sense. "I'm going to buy a drink. Want something?"

"No thank you."

"Ooh! I'll take bubble tea!"

…I wasn't asking you.

* * *

Yukinoshita excelled at everything she did, with the only thing holding her back being her stamina.

Maybe because I've known her for so long I was able to understand her, but watching her now…

Watching Yuigahama flounder about with terms she was unfamiliar with, Yukinoshita smoothly moving about without taking the proper time to explain every detail, it was clear Yukinoshita wasn't used to teaching airheads.

I popped one of Yukinoshita's baked cookies into my mouth. "You really suck at teaching." Surprisingly, it wasn't difficult for me to say that, even though it was the first time I've ever stated she was bad at something. It was a miracle, honestly; the day I'd find a flaw in perfection.

My blood vessels went cold at the sharp glare she sent my way. She pointed the spatula in my direction. "Then maybe you should guide her, since you're a self-proclaimed expert."

"I never said that…" If she was referring to my chocolates from way back when, she should have realized their taste wasn't all that spectacular and unique. I did follow an internet guide after all. And Komachi assisted. Hell if I knew much about baking.

Although, if I had to voice my solution to this request, I'd say to just don't. They are overcomplicating the feelings of the average male. Just knowing a girl did their best would be enough. That, I can confirm as a source.

But resolving this for a reason like that wouldn't sit well with Yukinoshita who hates giving up for external reasons.

"Then perhaps the inadequate ought to stay silent."

"Or I can leave?" Her glare deepened, no words required to express her answer. I responded with my own stare, even as possible trying not to falter under the scary Yukinoshita glare. It wasn't my fault your instructions were way too rushed for the average person to understand, let alone an airhead. Not to mention you're doing most of the baking yourself… Maybe I should have voiced my solution.

She sighed and I turned away to hide my smirk. I won! I don't know exactly what I won, but I won! "Yuigahama-san, we're going to try and take a new approach. I am going to hold your hand through the process."

"Eh? I'm not allowed to use my hands on my own!?"

"You've lost that privilege."

"But isn't it the same as you doing it yourself?"

"Yes, if you aren't paying attention. And please, speak up if you don't understand something. Communication is key in regards to learning."

"Y-yes!"

"Good luck…" I mumbled, biting another one of Yukinoshita's cookies…

…Before proceeding to have a coughing fit. I think I just ate one of Yuigahama's batches…

Don't mind me, just dying over here. So glad you care…

* * *

A nice quiet for a week since the first, proper request of the Service Club. If this was what this club entailed, maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.

"Have you heard from Yuigahama-san?"

"No…?" Lowering my book, I looked at her, confused. "Why?"

"It's been a while, is all."

"Uh, you fulfilled her request, didn't you?"

"Yes, but she has still yet to give the recipient the chocolate."

"And we should care?"

"I would like to see the fruits of my lessons."

"Uh-huh…" She should have been aware I didn't believe her, not entirely. It's not like before, where she told Yuigahama a half-truth, but more like she didn't want to tell me. Was there more to the request than I was told?

I returned to reading my book. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. They had a private meeting and everything, probably discussing who the boy was or something. Knowledge that Yukinoshita probably swore to keep secret.

But in that case, she could just tell me she couldn't tell me. I didn't understand, and the more time goes on the more I feel my understanding beginning to slip.

"By the way, I'm impressed with how you handled the request."

Huh? I closed my book this time, before immediately regretting it. I didn't have a bookmark… "What do you mean? All I did was taste…"

"Yes, but you gave me a new perspective. People are different, people have different experiences. Not everyone can be guided the same way. I need to take that into consideration from now on. I was trying to teach Yuigahama in the same way I'd try and teach you academics."

"Do you normally go that fast with me…?"

She nodded and the way her expression lit up made her look almost proud. "Your trivial knowledge helps considerably when it comes to teaching you. Concepts are never too difficult for you to grasp." Maybe stop with the praise because I always end up flustered… But I could get used to that smile. She had that same smile when Yuigahama managed to bake her first batch of edible cookies. Soft and proud. "…Unless it's math or science. You are incredibly hopeless in that regard."

That… "I passed, didn't I?"

"I believe I can take all the credit for your correct answers." Uh, well, she could. It was a problem of failing to understand and as a result memorization and regurgitation were my keys to success, or barely passing. "I have an idea, how about you stop by later? We can finish early here and I can assess your progress into the new school year."

"Yeah, sure." I could use her help with some math homework I've been putting off.

Though it made me wonder just how did an airhead like Yuigahama manage to get into this school?

"Yahallo!" So the devil has arrived… what the hell was that greeting. While I only stared in mild disgust, Yuigahama practically skipped over to Yukinoshita. "Yukinon! Here, for you! I made it myself!" A plastic bag that looked nice with a large cookie inside was handed to Yukinoshita, who used her legs to begin pushing her chair away.

"Ah, um, I thought this was meant for, well, not me?"

The revelation came to me that she made those without Yukinoshita's help. So that was why Yukinoshita looked terrified.

"I made some extras to, like, show my gratitude!" I couldn't see what expression Yuigahama made, but it made Yukinoshita turn away. Was she embarrassed? Where did her cold mask go?

"You really didn't have to…"

Were they that bad? Was she warning me to get out before I died? Thank you, Yukinoshita. You are truly a lifesaver.

Stealth, one of my 108 skills that has been furthered enhanced due to interacting with rich people, I managed to leave the clubroom without a hitch.

"Hikki!"

As soon as I turned around at the abhorrent nickname a bag crashed into my chest and it was with my incredible reflexes I managed to catch it. "Huh?"

"You helped too and, um, thank you for… you know!" Delivering a brief smile, she dashed back into the clubroom.

At eye level, the cookie inside the plastic looked actually edible, a far cry from the early batches of last week. Though the shape wasn't perfectly formed, it was clear that it was supposed to be a clover of some sort… I think. Clovers are good luck, and this is a form of gratitude so I took a bite.

But maybe I've been spoiled too much by Yukinoshita, because there was an unsettling feeling in my stomach as I digested the admittedly not bad cookie.

"Ah!" I was struck from behind! Reeling forward, I caught myself against the wall and turned around to face my assailant. I know Yukinoshita and am not afraid to call her!

"Oh no! I'm sorry! Are you all right?"

In front of me was a girl who looked just barely shorter than me. Her brown hair nowhere near as long as Yukinoshita's and were worn in twin braids. Her ribbon also looked bigger than Yukinoshita's. "Uh, I'm fine." I looked down at the floor to see two boxes, now opened, with several pieces of paper scattered. "My bad…"

Immediately I began collecting the paper alongside her. "No, I should have been looking where I was going. I'm sorry!"

What was I supposed to say to an actual apology? Especially since it was her fault. When you're carrying something, you focus on in front of you. All I did was stand still, minding my own business. Although, why were there so much paper? It hasn't been that long since the school year started. And why was one girl carrying two boxes filled with paper? "…Isn't this a lot for one person to carry?"

"It's fine! Everyone went home so I'm just wrapping things up!" She says that as if I was to understand. "Oh, but you're here so late. Are you in a club?"

"Yeah."

"That's good. Clubs are very important in order to make the most of your high school days! At the very least, you can use it for reference in the future."

I thought back to her ribbon, and if she was a third year it would make sense why'd she say something like that. "Yeah."

Closing the box, I hefted it, waiting for her to also stand up with the other box. When she did, she graced me with the most pleasant smile I think I have ever been graced with. It almost felt like any amount of stress I was bottling left in the spring breeze.

"Thank you very much!" Before I could respond, she suddenly stepped forward. My trained senses forced me backwards, only for her to step forward again. "What year would you happen to be in? You don't have your tie."

"Oh, uh, second."

"Second? …Oh! Would you happen to be Hikigaya-kun!?"

I think I'm dreaming. And if I wasn't, this was a bad sign. A cute girl I've never met knew my name. "Uh, yeah."

Her expression brightened even more than before, which was supposed to be impossible. "I knew it! You're exactly like Haru-san described!"

"…Haru-san?"

"Mhm! She said to look out for a second-year boy who stands out by not standing out, and his name was Hikigaya-kun!"

"That's incredibly vague." How was anyone supposed to use that as a hint? It almost seemed like Haruno-san wanted to toy with this girl.

"I admit I didn't know what she meant, but it had been a while since she messaged me so I trusted her." Trust and Haruno-san don't mix. It was almost like this girl admired her or something. "I did find you in the end!"

And that was the strangest part of all this. "I guess you did."

"Ah, forgive me! I'm Shiromeguri Meguri! The third-year student council president! Nice to meet you, Hikigaya-kun!" Stop being so sincere, you're giving me heart pains… I made sure to nod in response, as smiling would have surely scared her away. "Um, do you mind helping me take these to the Student Council Room?"

"Yeah, sure." Would this count as a request for the Service Club? I wasn't sure, so I'm going to count it anyway. That way Yukinoshita can't inevitably say I didn't do nothing. "Shouldn't the Student Council be around to help you with this stuff?"

"Oh, don't worry! This is only something I decided to do myself! I wanted these ready so we can get a head start with the Culture Festival!"

"Head start? That's not in several months."

"It will be good to have them ready now. There's also some stuff here for the treasury to look at regarding last year's expenses."

I think the beginning of the school year is a bit too early to think about the culture festival…

"Hup!" Enthusiastically, she placed the box down on the desk in the corner and I followed suit, with less cuteness. "You're quite helpful. I think I'm starting to understand why Haru-san told me to look out for you!"

Really? Could you tell me? Because I don't understand what goes on in that woman's head… Actually, never mind, I don't want to know what's in her head. It was probably a really scary place. "I don't think she was serious…"

"Even if she wasn't, I was still interested. You know Haru-san and that's enough to pique my curiosity!" Her hands clasped behind her back as she leaned forward. Encore, reflexes kicked in and I stepped back. "I hope you enjoy your second year at Sobu, Hikigaya-kun! If there's anything you need, I'll be here!"

"Uh, yeah, thanks." Maintaining eye contact after such… such purity was impossible. Humming to herself, she began moving to the cabinets in the back. Leaving, I could only think about the song she was humming. A song I heard a while ago. A song that was written by one person, and only I should have ever heard.

* * *

"…Eh? I can't come over?" This was a first. I had just bought some groceries to drop at home before leaving, but I suppose I'll be staying home.

"My apologies." Her voice was hushed, as if she was preventing anyone around her from hearing. "Yuigahama-san insisted we watched a movie after club hours."

"…So? If you don't want to see it, you can just say no."

"Well, she was very insistent…"

Excuses. You can't make excuses against the master of making excuses. "It's cat related, isn't it?"

"Well, yes, but that wasn't the only reason I-"

"It was the main factor."

"…Yes." She sighed and I could easily imagine her ears burning red in embarrassment. There was a time when Yukinoshita's obsession with cats embarrassed her, but she had quickly accepted that I accepted her. In this case, she was embarrassed because someone, Yuigahama of all people, managed to manipulate her. Unknowingly, no less.

"It's fine. I probably have some homework I've been putting off for a while anyway."

"Do you require assistance? I don't mind cancelling if you do."

"No, it's nothing that bad."

"I see… Well, I suppose I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah."

"Um…" She didn't hang up and so I waited. "Would you like to come?"

I… don't think I want to interrupt this very obvious bonding session Yuigahama has put forth. Sorry, Yukinoshita. "No, I should finish my homework."

"Yes, yes you're right. If you need help feel free to call."

"Will do."

"See you tomorrow."

A beep signified the end of the call. I stuffed my phone into my pocket and hefted the bag of groceries over my shoulder. Things were unusually eventful for the last couple of weeks.

I wasn't sure I liked it.

But… seeing her so proud, seeing her smile like that, it wasn't so bad.

* * *

 **Back to 8k words! Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed!**

 **11 Months ago was when I last updated. The chapter reached the near-end of the first year of high school. What that meant was from then on, we were in canon territory.**

 **Was I to retread canon grounds, mentioning the minor changes that would take place through all the requests?**

 **Was I to skip it entirely? Maybe even end the fic there?**

 **Or was I to create entirely new scenarios?**

 **It was hard to decide, and the story has been on my mind for the entirety of the last year. More and more people fav and followed, and thank you to all who did!  
**

 **I'm sorry if it didn't seem like much happened and if it didn't live up to expectations considering the extreme delay. There were so many deleted scenes/alternate scenes I ended up scrapping. I'm not going to tell you what they were, as I might use some later. But some of them were alternate versions of giving Haruno her chocolate or having Hikigaya meet Hiratsuka or how Hikigaya joins the Service Club. It's kind of crazy how difficult this chapter was to write considering how little actually seems to happen. It was hard to write a version I was satisfied with.**

 **I don't want to go through every single event from canon. We've all seen it, we've all read it, I included the cooking one because it introduces one of the most important characters in the series: Yuigahama. And with it you could imagine how the requests from now on would be handled with this new duo.**

 **So here Hikigaya understands Yukinoshita a lot more than in canon and he understands Yukinoshita's purpose for the Service Club. With that in mind, he would try and help her solve the requests more. No competition, nothing to gain for himself. As far as he's aware, at least.**

 **He wasn't going to try and dissuade Yuigahama from learning to bake and it is mentioned, sort of, that Yukinoshita wasn't the best teacher. So he tried to give her a push and through mutual understanding, Yukinoshita also improved a skill in this request.**

 **Anyway, thank you for reading and I sincerely apologize for the year-long wait! Hopefully this brightened someone's day!**


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